Please help me with my 3.5 and poo! Thankyou

[gossifer]

Help! We're stuck with how to help our little boy.
He has been out of nappies since the begining of this year (still wears them at night though).
He still wants a nappy to poo.
He has only ever done one poo in a potty.
He goes to nursery 3 days a week and has maybe had a poo in his pants 3 times there.
We have tried not letting him have a nappy when he asks, but he just holds it in until he has a nappy at bedtime.
We have tried sitting his on the potty and reading to him/letting him watch tv/offering him a treat, originally he got excited about the idea, but no poo!
He is in complete control of his bladder and bowels.
I feel like he is in complete control of this situation, and other than taking him out of nappies at bedtime, I don't really know what else to do.
Anyone have any helpful hints?
Thanks and sorry it's so long

Ooops - I meant he is 3.5 years old in the title!

Run out of nappies and don't buy any more. Make sure he sees there are only three left, then two, then one, then none.

Thanks CoteDAzur
We have tried this, but he then holds on until night-time nappy, maybe we're going to have to try no nappies at night. It seems very early for him though, that's why I'm asking for any tips/experiences?

Apologies in advance if this is to much information, but by dd1 was exactly the same-she has just turned 4, but only been potty trained on poos a few months.
What worked for us was my sister was in the toilet with dd (no privacy household!!)
She sat her down on the potty and gave my dd a hair brush to hold and told her to squeeze a poo out whilst holding the hair brush. Amazingly this worked (we prgressed on to a magic poo wand- to squeeze when she needed a poo . The reason we believed this worked was it focused her attention on doing a poo and kept her on the potty long enough for some action. Would you be willing to try something like that?

I meant no nappies at night, either.

What makes you think it is too early?

DD was out of nappies when 2.6 and out of nighttime nappies within a few nights afterwards. Peed in bed several times but then was fine. She wanted a nappy to do poo for a few days but I just ignored her. She held it in for 2 days and then went on the potty and never looked back.

I'm not bragging, just suggesting that a bit of tough love might be in order.

Watching with interest, my dd is exactly the same, starts in the nursery class this week and I'm panicking...

ds is 3.5 & we're having the same problem. Wees in the toilet now but can't poo. I put him on the toilet when he says he needs a poo & he actually tries to go but just can't seem to manage it. Put a pull-up on & he goes a few mins later. As he had an op on his bits when he was 18 months old which caused problems I refuse to push him but I do worry about it.

Merryandmad
That sounds like a good one, would definately give it a go, thankyou!
We have no privacy here either....

CoteDAzur
See, I think you are right, tough love is the way (not always very good at it) just wanted some other experiences, all my friends have girls and I find that my ds is later in developement on these things

have you let him have a go at wiping his own bum? i know it is a cringeworthy thought- but actually my dd likes to poo so she can wipe her own bum

Jules - I would just have a chat with the staff at the nursery - they normally have heaps of experience
Claire - I know what you mean - I don't want to push him, but it's always on my mind

Thankyou all so much - good to know I'm not on my own here

Merry - no, never thought of that, he has been asking to see his poo recently though

my ds is just the same he is 3.5 also and wont poo on potty or toilet ive tried the whole poos cant swim in nappies but they like to swim in the toilet were working on that at moment

he saw me go but was all excited as when we flush it gets to swim so may work maybe tipping poo from nappy into toilet will be next step

as for night my ds isnt ready either and im not rushing the night time for him sleeping through is the main thing and when his ready we'll deal with the night

my cousins little girl has only just started pooing on toilet and is 5 so its not uncommon

im going to stick to the swimming as he really seemed to like the idea good luck

i like the swimming idea bubblagirl - thanks

Not all children respond to the same thing, when we tried the "tough love" approach with this problem we simply ended up with a constipated toddler. Not something I'd recommend, and children can end up with problems that go on for years relating to constipation.

What worked for us was getting her to sit on the toilet with the nappy on, then gradually undoing it and letting it slip down her leg. Eventually it was on her foot and we persuaded her of the ridiculousness of that, then it went completely.

IME lots of toddlers are not happy to poo in the toilet, they think its part of them iyswim and get frightened that bits are 'falling out' iyswim.

Have you explained to him what poo is? I would get a picture of the inside of the body and physically show him where food goes in and where poo comes out iyswim. This way you can show him it is just waste food, even suggest you look for sweetcorn when it comes out and deliberately give him sweetcorn so he can see it iyswim. I think if you prepare him well you won't need tough love. Constipation caused in toddlerhood can lead to long term problems and tbh until school age I wouldn't rush it. You will probably find that the turning point will be peer pressure at being the only one still wearing a nappy iyswim. HTH

Also, if you can, up his fluid intake and veg/fruit so he may have to go more often. Fruit with cereal usually gets things moving before bedtime.

If you use a nappy at bedtime I would change to pull ups and explain they are big boy pants but will not hold poo in. This might deter him from pooing in them. Lots of toddlers see nappies as for pooing in so changing into pullups might break the association.