DS is REALLY annoying me, he has ONE interest, would it be cruel to take it away?

[MrsSnape]

DS (9) is OBSESSED with the PC. The rule is (at the moment) that he can put it on after he is ready for school so he makes a half arsed attempt at getting dressed (usually in dirty clothes as he's too busy concentrating on the PC he doesn't even notice), he doesn't comb his hair, lies that he's brushed his teeth and had a wash...when I say "make sure you're ready to leave the house" he says "ok" then as me and DS2 are at the door I shout of him and he comes running downstairs in a flap "I can't find my PE kit" "where is my sweater?" "where is my shoe?" "I've lost my water bottle!" "where did I put my homework?" etc etc...all to get a few extra minutes on the bloody PC.

You can't talk to him whilst he's on it or he snaps, whinges and whines...if I dare to use it myself he is up my back whinging "It's my turn?" "when will you be finished?" "Is it my turn yet?" CONSTANTLY OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

He comes home from school and turns it straight on, I tell him "get out of your uniform and fold it nicely" he screeches "ALRIGHT!" I go up 10 minutes later to find his sat there on the PC in his boxer shorts (because he can't be arsed to get dressed) with his school uniform FLUNG across the floor whilst he sits with his face glued to the PC.

The ONE healthy interest that he did have he can't be bothered with anymore. It really upsets me because he was doing so well at karate, going up through the grades, competitions, making friends....now I ask him "are you going to karate tonight?" and he peels his eyes away from the screen to say "dunno, maybe" a few months ago he would have answered "course I am". He just can't be arsed with anything other than ffing PC.

Would it be cruel to completely BAN it for a month or so? Just to see how he gets on and if things change? he would be DEVESTATED but I think it would do him good?

We've tried parent controls but it doesn't make much difference.

[hecate]

My ds1 is the same. Doesn't want to do ANYTHING! Hates leaving the house, wants to give up everything. You can't let them. It's not in their best interests.

My advice is -
If it's in his bedroom, move it into the living room. That's the most important thing. No computer in bedroom. Being in control of it is more important than how it looks in the living room!

Next thing is NO computer before school. Unbreakable rule. No matter how much the fuss. Even 5 minutes on the computer will fuck up the morning. If he knows that there's NO computer time, it will actually be less difficult than trying to get him off it!

After school/weekends/holidays, timer. Strict however many minutes then off. Or even no computer until X is done, or he can have it after he's played outside/gone to the park/had a bike ride/cleaned his room/whatever.

And ANY attitude about computer rules means computer off for rest of day.

[hecate]

Oh, and if he is missing some activity in preference of the computer - then computer is off during that time. so if karate is 6-7 on a Tuesday, then rule is no computer from 530-730 on a Tuesday. If he wants to give up karate, fine, but he's not going to choose computer over having anything else in his life.

We've just done this with Cubs. Ds1 does not want to go back to cubs, so we've said fine, but there'll be no computer or wii on that evening. So if you don't want cubs, then you'll have to find something else to occupy yourself, in the house, or a different activity. His response? "AAAAAAAAAAAAA-WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!" Which tells me it was all about comp/wii. You can't let them give up their lives for the bloody thing. I've learned that the hard way because I did.