When do you tell a toddler he is expecting a sibling ?

[ruthydd]

I am 3 months pregnant with number 2, and am wondering at what point I should tell my 2.5 year old son. I was thinking of leaving it as long as possible but he came with us for the scan and the explanation that "the man is looking in my tummy to see why I feel poorly" has left him confused. Should I come clean or is it too soon ?

Personally i would say it is too soon as even if he understands it is too far away however if he is confused you may have to. We told DS (who was a similar age) when my bump started getting really obvious (5/6 months) and bought some books to explain ('There's a House Inside my Mummy' was a popular one but there are lots of others). The baby's arrival was still a long way away but at least he could see that there was something there and he also decided he had a baby in his tummy as well! He may have already picked up on it though especially as he has seen you having a scan and discussing the baby. If you tell him now he may even forget for a while and then you can tell him again nearer the time.

Good luck and hope this helps.

We told our DS when I was 14 weeks as he had to come to the MWs with me and they could not find the HB so I had to have a scan.

I am of the mindset that best to be open.

My DS was 2 yr 9 m when our DD was born and he had a very good understanding of the whole pregnancy/childbirth/baby thing towards the end of my pregnancy

Hello Ruthydd,

I'm in a similar situation as you - my DS is 2.5 and I am 25 weeks pregnant with number 2. We waited until after my 20 week scan before mentioning anything to him and after a few weeks of talking about it he does seem to appreciate that I have a baby in my tummy (although yesterday he decided that it's actually a monkey in there). Obviously he has no idea of the impact this baby will have on his life, bless him.

It's hard to know what's best really. I read somewhere that it's best to start telling children when you are telling everyone else, so they aren't surprised or upset by other people talking about it. We only waited until 20 weeks because of a m/c last year - we were just being extra cautious.

Sorry, that's probably not much help is it?!

my ds is 3 & i'm 20 weeks pregnant. he's been with me to almost all my appointments, including the early scan i had at 6.5 weeks. we told him when i was about 9 or 10 weeks & he seemed to take it in his stride. it helped that lots of his friends have new baby brothers or sisters. he now tells everyone he sees that he's going to be a big brother soon, & he knows that mummy can be a bit grumpy 'cos of the baby in her tummy. he also has 3 babies in his tummy . i'm pleased with the way he's dealing with it so far, hope the reality lives up to the expectation.