Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Lifting DD up by one arm - am I a meany?

48 replies

ChukkyPig · 04/09/2008 21:12

DD 13 mo has been walking since 11 mo and so is toddling around pretty well. I like her (and she likes) to toddle up the road to the shops as far as she feels like going. But when she has a little stagger and topples over on her bum, or if I need her to move quickly, I have noticed that I'm hauling her up by one arm.

I lifted her up by one arm at GP today to move her out of way of door (bags in other hand) and got a look. I suddenly realised what I was doing.

Does it hurt them? Is it OK? Obviously I wouldn't yank her and sling her around. I just realised that when I've seen other people doing this (before I had DD) I was always a bit .

Any views? Am I a meany?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

cargirl · 04/09/2008 22:01

it really make me quite queasy!!!

Original poster

ChukkyPig · 04/09/2008 22:01

Hmm just re-read that! Not v clear!

Obviously I have carried DD! Just not in a carrier thing.

And as for the rest, my legs don't work very well and I am generally very nervous of dropping her/tripping - and of course the horror scenario of the pushchair zooming off down the hill and I can't run to catch it.

On the basis of this I will not be swinging DD any more either - twiglett is it ever OK to do that?

OP posts:

pagwatch · 04/09/2008 22:03

I think we are talking at cross purposes. I never used a carrier thing I either...

But anyway.
The twig has it

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Original poster

ChukkyPig · 04/09/2008 22:10

Blimey well I'm not that strong to carry her everywhere! Maybe I'm a bit lazy...

I'm still googling to try and find out when, if ever, it's safe to do the 1, 2 , 3, swing thing.

So far I have found links to mumsnet, and netmums (hun).

OP posts:

procrastinatingparent · 04/09/2008 22:14

A relative dislocated DD's elbow doing that when she was 6 months - off to A & E to have it popped back in.

No help on the when it is safe to do it though.

Original poster

ChukkyPig · 04/09/2008 22:23

6 months seems a tad young for swingyness!

What about when they are starting to swing off things themselves? Presumably if they are swinging around by their arms, it's safe for parents to do it...

OP posts:

snarky · 04/09/2008 22:26

A parent at the preschool I work in was recently reported to social services and investigated for doing this. It was taken very seriously - it's really really not a good thing to do.

Original poster

ChukkyPig · 04/09/2008 22:27

Really? Quite a few mums on here seem to have done this - including me - and I see people doing it most days.

That's scary snarky.

OP posts:

morocco · 04/09/2008 22:28

if you want to swing them round, hold them round the body under the armpits. they still love it

eidsvold · 04/09/2008 22:28

You can actually give them what is called pulled elbow. Very easily popped back in BUT very painful when pulled. I was told very common in terms of children doing things like running onto road or something and parent grabs them to pull them back or they are like dd2 doing the drop to the ground.

Dd2 was famous for dropping when walking - for example - I was helping her up the stairs and she just dropped - her own body weight hanging from her hand - cue what they call a pulled elbow - I had to take her to A & E to get it put in. Then the elbow is weak and prone to being 'pulled' again.

Dd2 was a nightmare for this and so we did three trips in total to A and E.

The last trip was due to flinging herself to the ground in a tantrum whilst still holding on to me. Thankfully ( as the doc said) she is old enough to realise that this is not what you do otherwise it gives you a very owwwie arm.

Lift them two hands under the armpits.

I think from memory the head of A and E told me when they are about three or four the joint is 'firmer' and so not as easily popped.

eidsvold · 04/09/2008 22:29

funnily the other two never did this!!

Original poster

ChukkyPig · 04/09/2008 22:29

Right. I'm definitely going to stop doing it then!

Thanks all!

OP posts:

MarlaSinger · 05/09/2008 09:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FlightAttendent · 05/09/2008 09:15

I think if you are just tugging them along out of the way of something - not actually lifting them off the ground - it is prob fine. But I wouldn't tend to lift by one arm, no.

I do lots of other crap things though!

chopchopbusybusy · 05/09/2008 09:23

DD1 managed to do this to DD2. DD2 was 3 or 4 at the time. Went to A and E and doctor was unable to pop it back in because it was too swollen. Had several goes at it then told me I'd have to bring her back the following day when the swelling was reduced. He managed it first time then. DD2 obviously hysterical though because she recognised the 'nasty man' and knew what was coming. They took it very seriously and repeatedly questioned how it had happened

Apparently once it's happened it's more likely to happen again.

S1ur · 05/09/2008 09:26

Found something on this for you - nursemaid's elbow

It says no swinging under 3

And caution until 6 years old.

I am a diasppointed to have to be more cautious about the between parent swings, although I now realise that actually when we have done it with our under three we are always a lot more gentle than with our four yo.

pooka · 05/09/2008 09:26

My cousin (nurse, midwife, health visitor) did this with her 3 year old and dislocated shoulder. Said was horrible for all concerned (particularly as it wasn't so much a "helpful" yank as a "get a move on" yank.

Colleague at work woke from a doze on the sofa to hear her dd1 saying to her ds "we've got to tell her" which sent mother radar into red alert and from sleep to waking in 1 second flat. Her ds had dislocated her dd2's shoulder trying to get her out of the cot (aged about 18 months).

wb · 05/09/2008 09:52

Well throughout West Africa children are routinely picked up by one arm (til age 2ish) to be put on their mother's backs. ~Not saying no-one ever dislocates anything but mostly they don't so I don't think it is a major worry.

pagwatch · 05/09/2008 09:58

actually Chukky I have just figured now..( odd thethings that perplex isn't it)
My DS2 hit four and was still in his puschair because of his SN.
I was determined that he was not going to be in it any longer and walked him to his school. When he got especially frightened I would carry him. I did this until he was six and although he is 11 now I still have to lift and carry him at times.
So I am odd in that I now have the biceps of a east german shot putter .
Tis me that is odd - you're fine !

DontCallMeBaby · 05/09/2008 10:23

I'd assumed that 'nursemaid's elbow' was some sort of injury typically sustained by nursemaids lifting their little charges, it would seem by all this that it was actually named after something 'inflicted' by the nursemaids on their charges!

Original poster

ChukkyPig · 05/09/2008 11:45

Thanks for the link slur, and wb that's very interesting about West Africa.

On the basis of all this I think I'll be paying extra attention to not doing it, although I expect it's inevitable sometimes if they are trying to escape under a lorry or something.

pag that sounds like excellent exercise - far better than the davina mccall exercise dvd I have just ordered to shift the baby weight!!!

OP posts:

procrastinatingparent · 05/09/2008 13:28

Just realised my post was perhaps a little unclear - the relative who swung DD by her arms when she was 6 months was drunk and doing it against our clear instructions and was stoppped as soon as we saw it (too late) - but that is another story! I didn't want anyone to think we were condoning it ...

Original poster

ChukkyPig · 05/09/2008 19:27

procrastinating - aren't family great!!!

OP posts:

Flip

1 2