Any SAHM's who enrolled their lo into preschool..? Talk to me please..

[shhhh]

Im NOT wanting to start a debate SAHM v's WM.

Im a sahm and have been since having dd over 3 years ago, I have since had ds (18 months) and this week I enrolled dd into preschool.

Reasons, to allow her more opportunity to be in an environment away from home to prepare her for school....
She is/will do 2 days a week and I decided on the time 9.30am - 3pm

I know its for her best interests but I can't help but feel bad .
I miss her although the time allows me to have more alone time with ds and also to do things that are easier with one than 2 iykwim.

I just feel bad, its not as though Im "working" so have to place her there and although im not as upset when I leave her I still constantly think about her and feel awful when I know she has been upset various time during the day (nothing major, standard tears...I want the toilet but won't go etc..)

I just wanted advice from others who are also not working and have/are doing the same...
I guess things will get easier...

im a sahm and my ds has just started montesory four days a week for two and a half hours a day and he loves it!he was getting bored at home and is really enjoying the company of other children

I did this too. I think it's really important for them to go and mix, and have independence.

There's nothing wrong with her wanting to watch from afar, shhh. She'll still be getting something out of it, and it is a huge step for her, just going there on her own. It does take time to get used to it. DS1 was a bit of a loner, too, but he still enjoyed playgroup.

It will stand her in good stead for school - you are doing the right thing; do not feel bad. Also, why should your second child not be entitled to some 1:1 time with you?

Not a SAHM so not qualified to comment but if I were, both DCs would be going to preschool -- they are down for it even though I intend them to stay with the same childminder until they go to school (if she'll put up with them!).

The reason I post is that our excellent (state) preschool still has places this year and I wondered why more people don't take advantage of resources like that (as you ladies mostly seem to be doing). Just strikes me as strange...

My DD went when she was nearly 4 (as places were scarce at the time). 5 sessions over 4 days. She bloody loved it, and is now leaping up and down with excitement at starting school next week.

I wanted her to go to pre-school because she always got unfeasibly excited on those odd occasions when she was playing with other children, and I thought it was only fair that she got to see someone else's face besides mine once in a while.

chaoica, thanks for your post...comments welcome for everyone BUT just guessed it was easier to ask advice from those in the same situation iykiwm..

Hmmm, you wonder why more don't take advantage of preschool etc...........well from mpov as a sahm I just thought, well I don't work so don't need the extra help and its only now that I think that it is a good thing for dd. From the day dd was born dh & I always aimed for preschool when she was 3 but I guess it seemed years off at the time and we just kept thinking about pro's and con's...
Also our preschool is attached to a nursery and is a very small one and although government funded we still have to pay around £160 a month which imo is madness as im not working so I see it in one way as a waste YET in another its a good thing for dd..
We get the free sessions BUT we are only entitled to 5, 2.5 hr sessions a week and we pay for 7.30-6.30 even though dd is not there that long..maybe other sahm's are n the same situation where it would cost them..?
Luckily we can afford that additional spend...

Hmm, well dd woke in the night screaming after having a bad dream...she was out of sorts after the 1st session on tuesday as well so I guess her little head is taking in so much. She seems ok otherwise.

We will bake some fairy cakes on mon for her to take in on Tue, maybe this may help to intergrate her iykiwm...she's a proud little cookie when baking .

Thanks again for comments so far.x

we have a similar issue with cost, dd goes to a private nursery and the grant, when it comes will not cover it in the least. she is enrolled for 2 mornings 7.30-1pm but we have only been there since 10 although next week she will have to be in early at least one day
but am guessing we will settle on9/9.30-1

yes, same as us...tbh initially we saw a nursery that allowed us to choose the hours so we wanted 9.30-1 but this one came up (usually 2 yr waiting list) and we were given 1st refusal. BUT it was where we originally dd to go..only prob is they only allow full days and a minimum of 2 days...hence the additional cost.

I work part time but DS went to preschool for the 2.5 hour session on my 2 days off (couldnt do it onw working says due to the short session).

I started him the year before reception as we dont have a nursery class here and felt the jump straight into reception would have been hard for him as he is tiny and shy.

Starting school was a lot easier, he knew his way round the school, knew the staff and other children etc. It took him a few months of tears to settle but so glad I did it then rather than reception.

Missed him like crazy though and was always the first to arrive to fetch him

Another sahm here, I sent my PFB to preschool when he was 3 and I had just had another baby!

It was great, he got to play with other children, share toys, be independent, and be disciplined by someone other than me.

He went 5 mornings because he needed a sleep for 2 hours in the afternoon!! He then started school the following year along with some of the children from the preschool so it was easier in some respects.

My ds2 is just about to go to playgroup for 2 1/2 hours. He is 2 1/4. Then he will go to preschool next year.

It was hard for me but it meant I got to just be a Mum to one when he was there and then when ds2 goes I'll have some time to myself.

Oh, and with regard to what they tell you, I would take it with a pinch of salt My ds1 told me that all he ever played with was sand despite the photos of him playing with lots of other things, and my mate being a TA there and telling me all the things he had done that day!

Mine all started doing mornings at pre-school when they were 3yo, initially a couple of mornings but up to 5 before they started school. They loved it and we have all made lots of local friends through doing it, which is as valuable as any of the social/educational benefits, I feel. I was SAHM for most of that time.

sfx, interested to know why you're paying for the full morning session if you're more interested in the NEG core hours of 9-12? Do you not have a nursery that will offer just those hours?

ds has been at pre-school since Jan, is the same age as sfx's little one, so 3 and a quarter. He's just moved to the local nursery which has been surprisingly painless (so far). He had his ups and downs with the pre-school, I'm not sure he was really ready but equally has come on in leaps and bounds since he started going - and now a week into nursery I can see how much he's developed, which is all very reassuring.

For me (or rather DH, SAHD) there are two aspects:

• dh can't take care of ds all day, too ill
• I don't want to go through the trauma of ds not wanting to go to 'school' when he kind of has to go this time next year.

My ds also claims to have done "not anything" at playschool despite photographic evidence to the contrary! I hate the aspects of him being occasionally upset and not being there for him, although kind of have to deal with that anyway as I'm a WOHM. I think dh finds it worse. But he seems to take it all in his stride; the only thing the nursery staff have noticed is how much more he interacts with the adults than the other kids. Par for the course for only children not in nursery from a young age, I think.

Haven't read all the replies. I'm a SAHM. My 3 yr old DS goes to nursery 5 mornings a week and loves it. I have never felt guilty about it. I think it's a normal, healthy thing to do. I'm due in November with no.2 and it will also give me a nice bit of time to bond with him/her. Works out well all round.

My DS2 finished pre-school last July - he starts infants on Monday and I have been a SAHM since DS1 was born (though not for much longer).

He did 5 sessions a week. He spent two years there, starting with two sessions a week and loved it. We built it up so that he has some experience of being out of the house for the whole school day in preparation for big school.

I think that by the time pre-school take them at 2.5yrs to 3yrs old, they are ready for the wider world outside being at home all day with me and they are developmentally ready to start making friends and playing with other children properly. They also benefit from a bit of low key learning of letters and numbers, how they should behave in groups and how to listen to and respect others especially the teachers.

It is sad when they go for the first time ( with DS1 I was pregnant with DS2 and blubbed all the way home) but they need the experience. It was lovely to get the opportunity to have some time alone with DS2 which I felt I was missing out on second time around.

I didn't feel bad about sending either of them even though I am a SAHM because I saw it as the beginning of their education. I wasn't using it as daycare, it was for their benefit and it did them a lot of good.

You will both be fine.

aww thanks for the words of wisdom and comfort everyone. . Really apprciated. Week next week so will see how dd goes...will bake some cakes on mon for her to take in on tue, hopefully this will integrate her even more iykwim....

BTW tribpot, sfx is in a similar sinuation as us with regards to fee's.
We only go 2 days a week and have to do 2 ful days or at least pay for 2 full days even though dd is only there for 5.5 hrs out of 11 and 1 meal out of 3 each day...

Our nursery is government funded so we get the grant BUT its only for 2.5 hours a day x5 for a week...so we have the pay for the remainder....

Our other local nursery did offer morning only which was perfect and would have cost us basically £0 BUT ioo wasn't the best nursery/preschool for dd....