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Parenting

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Original poster

Odd late night MSN messages for DD - WWYD

28 replies

Quattrocento · 02/09/2008 22:05

After the DCs have gone to bed (around now) I stay up and catch up with some work. I've always done my best work late at night and it's quiet and peaceful.

For the last 5 nights, I've been positively hounded on MSN by this school-friend of DDs. They are both 10. I get around 50 messages between 10pm and midnight. I can't reply because (a) I am useless and never use MSN and (b) there seems to be something wrong and it just types in a lot of asterisks and exclamation marks.

I got DD to phone this girl to explain that she goes to bed and she is not online. But it hasn't made any difference.

Here's a sample message - it's quite horrid:

"And I will delete you of (sic) my facebook so then you will have no contacts so the (sic) you will look like a loner and a person who has no friends and to you grow up you will have no friends because your (sic) doing this with them and like with 28 cats a loner for the rest of you life."

WTF is going on here? I register some distaste at the spelling etc but it's the sentiment that's so disturbing. WWYD?

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squeaver · 02/09/2008 22:08

Do you know who the girl is? I think you need to speak to her parents, don't you? (don't have a dc that age so maybe not much help)

NoMoreOlympics · 02/09/2008 22:08

how nasty

it sounds like bullying

girls can be truly horrid to each other

is your dd generally happy at the moment?

speak to her about it

LilRedWG · 02/09/2008 22:08

It most definitely sounds as though your DD is being bullied by this girl. I think you need to have a good chat with your DD and try to get to the root of this.

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Seuss · 02/09/2008 22:08

What does your dd say about it? Are they supposed to be friends? Could it be the other girls older sibling or something?

Carmenere · 02/09/2008 22:09

I would speak to her mum, if my dd was staying up late to be nasty on msn, I'd want to know.

Hulababy · 02/09/2008 22:09

Do you know who it is who is sending it?
Sounds like bullying type talk to me, from that passage.

Why not respond to the message, saying who you are and that you have copy and asted the text, in case you need to report her to MSN if it continues.

What does DD have to say about it?

Seuss · 02/09/2008 22:09

If not I'd speak to the girls parents - I bet they don't know what's going on.

EisAHandbagaHolic · 02/09/2008 22:09

have you checked the font on msn? there is a font setting that causes you to type in symbols instead of letters iyswim.
sounds to me that your DD has had a falling out with her friend or may be being bullied by someone. does she open up to you about things? it might be worth speaking to her about this and see what she says about it.
good luck
xx ei xx

Lazarou · 02/09/2008 22:09

I would print out the messages and find out where this person lives and show them to her parents.

LilRedWG · 02/09/2008 22:09

Yes -speak to the parents too. Also, is everything okay at school or is she being bullied there by this girl too?

Hassled · 02/09/2008 22:09

It sounds like your DD is being cyber-bullied (I only know the terminology having seen something about it on Newsround). It's the next generation of standard bullying - plaguing the victim with texts and emails.

You need to log out of MSN and just ignore. And maybe persuade your DD to stay off MSN completely for a while.

3littlefrogs · 02/09/2008 22:09

I would save it print it out and take it to the school. I am old, not very computer literate, and don't go on MSN, but i think it is known as cyber bullying.

Are you sure it is the girl you think it is? Or could it be someone else using her name?

It seems awfully late for a 10 year old to be up.

3littlefrogs · 02/09/2008 22:11

As you can see, my typing is so slow that i Xposted with everyone else

janeite · 02/09/2008 22:11

Do you know the parents? I'd only broach it with them if you know them well tbh and know they will handle it sensibly; otherwise it could make it worse. Otherwise, I think you should contact the school. I know nothing about Facebook but it should be easy to block this child from your daughter's MSN.

Original poster

Quattrocento · 02/09/2008 22:11

Have chatted with DD, who seems happy with life normally and looking forward to going back to school. This is not one of her close friends at all - this girl has never been over for playdate or sleepover or anything. DD says she is just a bit dim and struggling at school. Which is all very well but it sounds so nasty, doesn't it?

Have left 5 messages on the parents' phone - no call back yet.

OP posts:

LilRedWG · 02/09/2008 22:13

I'm glad that your DD isn't too upset by this girl, but I do think you need to make the school aware. Not all children could handle this as maturely as your DD.

umberella · 02/09/2008 22:14

sounds awful -poor dd.

NoMoreOlympics · 02/09/2008 22:14

if your dd is genuinely ok about it, then I would not worry too much

msn is just another for kids to be a pita to each other

maybe get your dd to lay off msn for a while and not rise to the bait

Seuss · 02/09/2008 22:14

Glad your dd is ok, I'd still follow it up with parents or school though.

NoMoreOlympics · 02/09/2008 22:15

*another way

solidgoldbrass · 02/09/2008 22:15

Bear in mind that the person sending the messages may not be the person whose name the messages are being sent in. It could be that someone else is trying to make trouble for a girl who is 'a bit dim' by impersonating her to bully others.
Also, if your DD is not bothered, maybe your involvement is not actually necessary.

squeaver · 02/09/2008 22:15

Yes think the school should know. She might be doing it to others

3littlefrogs · 02/09/2008 22:16

I agree - I understand that impersonating someone else is yet another twist to this cyberbullying thing.

serin · 02/09/2008 22:16

Agree with 3littlefrogs.

Hope this resolves for you, what a horrible start to the new school year.

Original poster

Quattrocento · 02/09/2008 22:17

Thanks for the tip on font settings - yes must avoid being an interfering parent at all costs - but am really quite disturbed by the tone of these messages.

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