I need help. i don't want crticism and people saying "oh well if your son did that it's his own fault" type comments, I need constructive comments and advice

[saltire]

I need to know how to get Ds1 (10) to stop getting so wound up and crying if something goes wrong. I need to know how to tell him to deal with things when a group of his friends are mean to him, and how to deal with one particular child who is, IMO a bullying little toerag (and flame me for daring to call a child a toerag, I don't care, because I have had enough of this) and DS1 comes in the house in floods of tears and wants to go out and throw things at them.

What about giving him another interest or hobby to make him feel important? Not that I'm saying he doesn't already feel important, but a confidence boost can be grat in dealing with bullying toerags. Even a martial art? He would learn restraint and how to deal with confrontation in a mature manner, a channel for his anger, and I bet if anyone thumped him once they would never do so again. But the main thing is the confidence thing and being able to stand his ground. Not sure if that's a crap idea or not!

i think i might be inclined to invite the other 2 indoors and when luey (Ithink is the shit) tries to come in, say "oh no, you don't come in here when you are so horrible to DS" and send him on his way. Let the ones who come in have an icecream or something and they can play with you keeping an eye on him, then maybe/maybe not luey will want to join in and start to back off a bit?

I really don't know the answer, well, I know what I would want to do (!) but i just know so much what you are going through and your poor little fellow.

I'm quite horrified by what luey said to you and your dh - tart and wanker indeed. can you speak to luey's mum about this - he is bullying your son and if his mother is at all reasonable she might be shocked to hear what her son says and does. was she or her partner at the rugby to see him act in that way?

I don't know if you can do the "speaking to mum" thing when they get to 10, we're a long way off that yet. but I wouldn't let Luey in your house if he thinks he can talk to you like that and get away with it.