Talk to me about finding one child easier than another. I have guilt.

[BroccoliSpears]

Ds is a gorgeous gurgly baby. He feeds well. He sleeps well. He grins, he coos, he chuckles. He likes a cuddle. He's scrumptious.

Dd is... well, she's 2. God I love her. She fights me on every. Little. Thing. I already do pick my battles and I read and loved HTTSYKWL and I'm trying my absolute hardest to be a calm, reassuring parent. I just wish she would just take 10 minutes off sometimes. I'm knackered. Everything is a battle.

And now I feel The Guilt because a few months ago I found it incomprehensible that I could ever feel affection let alone love for another child, and now I'm head over heels in love with ds and I'm finding dd such hard work...

I feel as though I've betrayed her.

I utterly love both of them to infinity and beyond, but I still feel so horrible that when I hear the start of ANOTHER tantrum my heart sinks instead of being flooded with motherly love and concern.

wow broccoli - this is exactly how I have been feeling for the last 8 months and feeling so bad about it. DD is nearly 3, DS 8 months.

I think a lot of it is down to being so better able to cope with a baby 2nd time round so your bond with your 2nd child is so strong and immediate. BF has gone brilliantly for me this time round and I think that has played a huge part in my r'ship with DS.

Anyway I think what we both need to hold onto is that in 2 years time our DDs will be lovely independent young girls and our DSs will be tantrumming shouty destructive toddlers and we will almost certainly feel differently then (and probably start a thread about what bad mothers we are because we prefer spending time with our DDs!) I really do think it's just a matter of time - hang in there