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Parenting

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Original poster

So I went to a friend's house for lunch yesterday....

82 replies

Earlybird · 14/02/2005 21:09

.....and she opened a bottle of champagne. She poured a glass for everyone, including a mini glass for her 4 year old dd. She asked me if my dd (same age), would like one, and I politely refused. Must admit I was a bit taken aback. What do you lot think?

OP posts:

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Dior · 14/02/2005 21:53

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soapbox · 14/02/2005 21:53

I think it depends on your philospphy really.

I'm an everything in moderation kind of person - nothing is really banned in our house - some things are just more frequently offered than others

Dior · 14/02/2005 21:58

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HappyMumof2 · 14/02/2005 22:03

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ImuststopdrinkingBlossomhill · 14/02/2005 22:05

Yes but we are talking about 4 year olds. Not 14 year olds.

Dior · 14/02/2005 22:05

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snafu · 14/02/2005 22:07

Sometimes I think a shot of brandy would be just what my ds needs...

soapbox · 14/02/2005 22:07

Have you ever actually tasted wine or champagne diluted??

It truely is disgusting - if that doesn't put them off alcohol for life then nothing will

ImuststopdrinkingBlossomhill · 14/02/2005 22:08

I know my mum often talks about women putting brandy in bottles years ago. Not sure if I was one of those babies

lockets · 14/02/2005 22:09

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Dior · 14/02/2005 22:09

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snafu · 14/02/2005 22:09

Yep, dip a dummy in brandy, my dad always used to say. I think he was joking!

snafu · 14/02/2005 22:14

I think what we're really talking about here is responsibility. I don't see much wrong in a small child having a controlled sip from a responsible adult's glass and probably being told at the same time 'This is for grown-ups but you can have a taste' (or words to that effect). I do, however, see a lot wrong with plonking a individual glass (even a small one) down in front of said child and effectively saying 'There you go, dear. Let me know when you've had enough.'

highlander · 14/02/2005 22:29

I'm with you Snafu. Teaches them that booze is for adults, but by letting them have a wee taste, there's no cloak-and-dagger mystery about it. As in France, de-mystifying booze is less like ly to lead to binge drinking in the teen years (only my opinion!)

lockets · 14/02/2005 22:31

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soapbox · 14/02/2005 22:34

Lockets - I think the French way of thinking presupposes that the adults behave in a moderate way around alcohol. Clearly that sadly wasn;t the case in your family. You were learning how to abuse alcohol not how to enjoy it in moderation

wheresmyfroggy · 14/02/2005 22:37

unfortunately moderation is not a word often adhered to by teenagers!

soapbox · 14/02/2005 22:38

Thats very true wmf!

hercules · 14/02/2005 22:39

Personally I think it's very healthy to give alcohol to kids in a wise manner. I have no problem letting ds have a sip of wine. He rarely does as he doesnt like the taste. We have an alcoholic living with us so he has learnt alot about the abuse of alcohol but I dont want him to see it as forbidden fruit. We teach him that there is nothing wrong with alcohol as such but the problem occurs with how you use it.

suedonim · 14/02/2005 23:15

I don't think France is actually a good example of moderation with alcohol. They have much higher rates of cirrosis(sp?) of the liver than we do.

Mirage · 15/02/2005 13:11

I wouldn't give a child that young alcohol,but,when dd is older,I will let her have the odd sip at celebrations ect.I was allowed to do that when small,although my family rarely drank.It wasn't made out to be the forbidden fruit & as a result I never got legless as a teenager & rarely drink now.Howver,my great grandad was an alcoholic & I don't know whether hearing my mum's stories about him,put me off the drink.

I have seen a mother from our street walking past my house with her 14/15 year old son,lighting up her cigarette & then lighting one for him-lovely!!!!

sallystrawberry · 15/02/2005 13:23

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morningpaper · 15/02/2005 13:43

I think it's good to offer children alcohol - for it not to be taboo. Most children don't like the taste anyway.

However CHAMPAGNE AT LUNCH? Is this how ALL SAHM mums live?!

pixel · 16/02/2005 19:46

I don't think it's so wrong to let children have a taste of alcohol. I was always allowed a small sherry or babycham at Christmas and remember caravan holidays when we had shandy or cider. I've never been really drunk in my life despite living in a pub for the past ten years.

What's more important I think is the example that is set. My family only ever drank anything on special occasions and never to excess. I remember my Dad coming home drunk from a work's do and falling over and burning his forehead on the carpet. It was such a rare event that it stuck in my memory even though I was quite small at the time. My children have never seen either me or their dad the worse for wear as we don't want them to see it as something that adults 'do'.

IMO people who tell their children that alcohol is 'for adults' and then proceed to get sloshed every weekend in front of them aren't doing them any favours. They just make it something to look forward to, a sign of being 'grown up'. Much better to portray alcohol as no great mystery, something to be enjoyed but in a responsible way.

Having said all that, my own children have never had alcohol. I've sat here wondering why, when I'm not totally against it and they've grown up surrounded by it. I've come to the conclusion that it's simply because they've never asked! I wouldn't actually offer it, but would be prepared to satisfy their curiosity.

SenoraPostrophe · 16/02/2005 19:51

wouldn't have given her champagne - champagne spritzer (can you do that?) maybe. Agree it's good to give kids a small taste so it doesn't become taboo. I do mean small though.

I worked in a pub once and the landlady asked me to pour a "half of a half" of shandy for her 3 year old. I misheard and poured a half & half - thinking "blimey a shandy for a 3 year old". She was really pissed off that i would give a whole half of shandy to her son and i got the sack. At the time i would have said not to give him any at all, but i've changed my mind.

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