Finding it hard to meet new mummy friends

[kittypower]

My original group of friends from our mothers group is starting to disband as people go back to work etc. I have one other really good friend who has a baby and I see a lot of but her husband has just got a new job and they are moving away - so feel like I need to make new baby friends but it just seems such hard work and I can't seem to progress on from seeing them at one of the classes we do to actually being friends - How did you guys all do it?

I'd invite a couple of them back to your house for lunch/cuppa, if it's the 3 of you it's less pressured

Ask someone if they fancy going on to a cafe after the class?

I said I was thinking of trying out a couple of activity groups but didn't want to go on my own because I was too nervous, so did anyone else fancy going? A couple of others did so I suggested going for lunch afterwards and the rest is friendship history!

I actually asked some mums at a pt group that I'd been chatting with anyway if they fancied a night out without kids and they were very enthusiastic.
Also asked if they fancied meeting at the park the next day.
I also went on [whispers] netmums and met some mums from the 'meet a mum' bit. Made some very good friends.

I went to a class and we started having lunch at a cafe afterwards. When the class stopped, some of us kept in touch and met up on the days the class would have been.

Volunteer for the NCT, go on the committee. I have made an amazing group of friends in a new area by doing this. I was working full time and just not meeting anyone.

There are loads of different roles so something will suit you and they are sure to need volunteers. It is so much more bonding meeting people by actually doing something rather than endless cups of coffee and circular conversations about childcare!

I met people by putting a notice on net mums (can i say tht here ). Agree its difficult. I also speak to absolutley anyone in the park and if I see people more than a few times ask if they would like to swap numbers to meet up. You have to be quite brazen to get anywhere and a little thick skinned.

Where are you maybe there are some mums on here that you can chat to and eventaully meet with.

Kittypower- I think I recognise your name from ages ago (I have changed mine). Are you in Putney? My DD is just one and I am there too. Same situation in that NCT group have mainly gone back to work etc but I haven't. I know exactly what you mean about progressing from the baby classes onto friends but it is slowly happening. What classes do you do? I seem to do most of them to fill the days- I would prob recognise you!

Have you tried MN local? It is hard. Try your local Library, go differnt times of day/week and see who you come across. Use the LO as an excuse to chat, flatter them by admiring their LO crawling/walking etc and it will start a conversation.

I'd second volunteering for the NCT. Sling meets are also great (see www.slingmeet.co.uk)

You've got a good memory quickerthistime! What did your name used to be? ha ha we probably do the same classes, i do monkey music etc.

jem1969
We do MM, Gymboree etc etc- what is your DS's name?? (Only ever know names of babies not of mums!)

How funny, i think i do know you quickerhtistime - i've set up an email for mumsnet it's [email protected] - drop me an email when you get a chance..

still trying myself!

Hi there, I found it very hard at first to make friends with other mums in my community.

I knew a lot of them, but it never got past the 'say hello in the street' stage.

Then one day I pounced on someone leaving a doctor's appointment, she had children, she looked like I would like her, she was new in our little town, I had to take my chance.

We now go on holidays together and look after each others children etc...

I think the key is that you have to actually really like the person you're befriending. I would often moan to DH about how I wasn't fitting in, but he made the point that I didn't really seem to like the people I was feeling excluded by, and that I just wanted them to like me. Being mums is not that much to have in common really.

Once you have one friend, getting more seems much easier, the edge of desperation has gone.