Pregnant with DC2 and not happy

[redorwhite]

Bascially, I have just found out I am pregnant following a drunken "what will be will be" moment. DH and I been talking about a second baby and I was feeling as if I wanted another child. DS is almost two.

DH is happy but now it is real I am not. All I can think about are the realities and practicalities and I have no idea how I will cope. I am not a naturally maternal person and really struggled with DS's babyhood.

We were able to have time to ourselves as my Mum and MIL helped alot, but I don't think they would have two on their own (DH and I both only children so parents have no idea what to do with two DC either!)

I now really wish this had not happened feel trapped by the whole thing!

Thank you for letting me moan - I have not felt up to telling DH yet as I think I would get too upset!

A routine will be easier 2nd time around because you are already in a routine with DS.

You sound more optimistic tonight.

Go and speak to DH.

yeah. routines are great.

i found get a consistent bath routine from day 1. get the 2 of them in together, and all your clothes and stuff so you can leave dc1 playing in water while you get dc2 dressed.

also when baby's little try to get dc's sleeping together. this is only really possible if dc1 is flexible an hr or so either way with nap.this way you can have a kip too.

but once dc2 is more mobile and cut naps down then seperate the naps as this is when the jealousy will kick in. as much as they will love each other. they will get up each others nose. it's good for them to have a wee hr or so with 1-to-1 time with you and a play alone while the other is sleeping.

If it's reassurring at all I would say it's easier with two.

My two dd's who are 5 today and 7 yrs play together constantly and keep each other ammused. Yeah they have their times when they hate each other and argue, BUT they are the best of friends really and you'll have so many special moments.

E.g, I recently told 5 yr old she wasn't going to get her treat because of playing up in town to which she had a mental breakdown. Her sister put her arm around her and consolidated her, they had a full on heart to heart about the whole thing! Was so sweet, made my heart melt even though I was still with younger dd.

redorwhite,
me too :-( Same experience (now 6 weeks preg with a dd nearly 3). Could imagine having a 2nd older child but no desire for a baby (or pregnancy). Totally freaked basically (started a new and stressful p/t job a few months back so they are going to be really pissed off).

If you find a way of getting your head round it pls let me know as all i can think of are the negatives (no more life for a while), partic as we have no support network at all,

Hi

My head is still all over the place. Somedays it seems like I can cope because people do and then other days I think about all the practicalities and freak out!

Jasper - like you I wish I could have a child not a baby. It seems we have alot in common - how are you feeling at the moment?

Am going to tell my Mum tomorrow which is scary!

hi redorwhite,
still feeling pretty negative! And now the nausea has set in (same as with DD) :-(
Just came back from 5 days at my parents (live miles away) and didnt tell them as cant deal with the congratulations.
I think a part of it though is my stress over my new job though.

One thing that does sound good from your side is that you do have some support/backup from parents. I think it will help make things easier (even if only one is taken off your hands at a time!).

Hope you are feeling better than me!