SAHM's how do you keep yourself from going mad?

[cupcake78]

I have not worked for a year now and made the decision not to return to work only a couple of months ago. However I hate to admit it but I'm starting to go round the twist already.

DS is 10mths old, alot of my friends are busy back at work or have more than one child so their life is totally hectic. I am twiddling my thumbs to be honest. I play with DS loads, my house is clean and resonably tidy. I can't do anything for a long period ir gardening etc because DS gets restless after a short time. We go out most days even if its just an hour in the park, but I feel like I am starting to lose the plot. If I spend time with anyone they are usually over 65(grandparents).

How do you all do it? What do you do to fill in your days? I want to enjoy my time with my ds but am finding myself becoming more bored.

im past wibbling i am too mad! have been a sahm for over neary two years! im looking for a pt job atm! though i may already be too mad! try pt college or ou?

Otherside - In Blackader Goes Forth (the series where they are in World War One) Blackadder thinks he can avoid certain death by putting his pants on his head, putting two pencils up his nose and saying "Wibble" - i.e. he is maaaaaaad and will be sent to an aslyum instead of over the top.

Now THATs what you can do to stop goint mad - watch all the series' of Blackadder one after the other!

Thanks DB too.

Sorry for the hijack cupcake. And good luck with avoiding wibbling.

I periodically wibble but the frequency is ever increasing and is almost at a none reversable juncture.

I really thought that I'd love being SAHM once my DC were born, but in fact I just go completely stir crazy and can't cope at all. Things got much easier once I went back to uni to do my MSc and had something to panic, worry, frenzy about that didn't involve the DCs. Something that is just for me! I thoroughly recommend a project of some type - or lots of different and varied little projects.

cupcake the mothers who make it work ime are the ones who go to loads of playgroups and make enough friends to meet up and hang out a bit. In good weather it's easier but it's nice to alternate lunch etc.

It's very lonely work if you're used to the social life most jobs provide. A project is a good idea but when I look back what I needed more was people.

I made good friends by joining a coupld playgroup committees - you immediately have a bond with a group then and get to know each other more quickly. good luck! I'm about to have my second child (ds is 7) and I'm slightly dreading those long days, I think I'm going to try to get back to work sooner this time. I don't think the SAHM thing suited me entirely! I think it suits people who are good at building a varied social network or who have family nearby!

first while i suffered.

took up smoking again.

met other SAHM at groups.

gave up smoking.

took up going for lunch with other SAHM and have a glass of wine with lunch. (stuff playgroup where you pay for dodgy coffee).

go to gym class with other SAHM (parent and baby one, parents sweat while running round track with prams, babies sleep)

housework? housework? whats that.

oh, and any other spare time is spent planning nights out with other SAHM. and not to forget spa days. they take months to plans. takes about 3 weeks just to find a date everyone can go to. and we always try a venue further and further away. next one will involve a plane hopefully!!

I don't!!!

To be honest, you sound like you are doing all the right things. Difficult to get out to groups during the summer hols, there are some that still run.

Bite the bullet, do M&T, its full of other nutters SAHMs who are lonely for a bit of adult company - plus its a new set of toys for the lo to play with.

I agree - you need company so you have to seek out other parents. Many of my friends work part time so we meet up when it suits them, or if they have days off mid-week rather than at weekends.

I started my own toddler group to combat the loneliness.

Also, MN helps a lot!

yes - im starting my own toddler group too - one for mums who intend to home educate. It will give us something in common and if we only meet once a month or once a fortnight it wont be too much for me to organise.

Do you have an odd interest or something that you could invite other mums who share that interest to meet up? (not saying that HE is odd!)

elmoandella - it's a great life isn't!

You can stop yourself from going mad?

nonononono

going mad is the best option.

In answer to the title - I don't.

It is hard (and I even work one day a week!). I was chatting to a pal who's a childminder a while ago and decided to pretend I was minding my own kids (IYSWIM) - read a few "What to do with toddlers/preschoolers" type books and try to structure and plan each day more.

I cook and bake a lot, messy play is always a hit (bowls of custard, cooked spaghetti etc) and I've started growing veg this year. If I feel like I'm about to lose the plot I stick them in the bath to play!

I didn't I went barking mad and went back to work to rescue mine and the dcs, sanity!

belgo . . . it certainly is. my social life has never been better.

One other thing I would add apart from the get out and meet other Mums advice which I fully endorse, is that if you can get some exercise do so as this will make you feel more energetic generally and will give you an hour "me time" - most Gyms have a creche or a specific class for mums where the babies get looked after in the corner while you are exercising. If nothing else a run/ fast wlak in the park with buggy is better than nothing!

I have been at home for 10 years now and so I know only too well how tedious and thankless this job can be and how much you sometimes feel life is passing you by but as someone else has said you just need to look at the product of your labours to put that boredom into perspective!

Only way I survive is having a regular activity for most mornings of the week. Although the summers are hard with very little on. I found at around 10-12 months the most difficult times, as so many women go back to work. My DD has a sleep of around 2 hours most afternoons so I try and do something for myself sometimes during that time not just doing the housework - thats what I loathe, its not looking after my DD that drives me mad is the housework.

Yes, the projects! I've been a SAHM for the last 6yrs and i'm not bored at all!
Have so much to do all the time.
In the last 5yrs i've built an aviary, built a chicken run and coop, re-decorated both kids bedrooms, the dinning room, laid new flooring in dinning room and extension, built a playhouse, re-landscaped the garden (front and back).
Also i've done voluntuary work for Meals on wheels for a couple of years until they disbanded, done gardening for the elderly for Age Concern, helped out at local play-school and last year did P/T work in the evening and weekend as a Home Carer.
There is always plenty to do, just got to think outside the box.
I've also been collecting beads and trinkets to start doing beadweaving in the winter when i can't get out into the garden and tend to my vegetable plot.
When i was at work it was just get up, on train, catch other train, walk 1 mile, work at computer and talk all day (call center), catch 2 trains back, cook dinner from 7pm, eat, go to bed.
Being at home means you have freedom to do the things you dreamed about whilst stuck at work!

I think being a SAHM is at it's most boring when you have one child under the age of one - it's easier with toddlers and/or more children as they do more and there is more scope to take them more interesting places eg, museums etc that you might also like.

But in general, things I have done to stop myself going crazy:

• loads of volunteer work, all of it child-related eg, helping out with my local NCT, running local playgroups etc. Very very social and forces you out of the house.
• Crafty stuff is great, I find it genuinely satisfying. I've got heavily into knitting but also love baking,gardening etc. Am in a book group and a crafts group.
• I also learn a language - private lessons so expensive but it meant I could take DD with me

• Freelance work one day a week!
• really vary the places you visit - go for all-day outings to places roundabout you - even if it means jsut visiting a local town for the day. Exhausting but fills up the day!

Wow Ripeberry, how do you manage to get so much done with children around!
When I was SAHM I could just about keep up with the housework and make a bit of progress in the garden every year. I was sooo tired all the time that if ever I got simultaneous naps from DCs I would go off and nap myself.

ooooooooooooooooh wish i had space to put chicken coup. not sure my neighbours would approve

I'm really glad to hear that I'm not the only one going rapidly nuts!

It's the strange combo of being utterly bored yet not having time to do anything that gets to me!

I think I need a bit of a kick up the arse to get out and doing a bit more stuff, really.

Oh, and can I have a copy of your timetable, Pooter??? I probably will colour it in though!

staranise makes very good points.
Busyness and social outreach are the keys to avoiding acute depressive illness and stultifying loneliness/brain death/ letting one's self go unto trackie bottoms and comfort eating to Olympic Standards of International Face Stuffing...... I could go on...

but it is good to have a face stuffing day. especially when your period starts.
hide indoors and go insane. you'll feel much more refreshed the next day