My parents, particularly my mother, are of the opinion that children should be well behaved at all times.
The reason behind any inappropriate behaviour is of no interest to her. She doesn't want to know the causes, she just wants any "naughty" behaviour to stop.
She made me feel very lacking as a mother when DS2 was young, as he had lots of issues that meant he had quite severe behavioural problems.
She would never actually say anything, but disapproval would roll off her in waves.
I know she thinks that I gave in to him, or let him have his own way. But she didn't know the struggles we had at home, or how we were working on a strict behavioural programme to try and help him.
She didn't know because she made me feel so incapable that I never told her.
And sometimes, when we were at my parent's house, or out in public, I would placate DS2, in order to avoid a meltdown.
And then my mother would pointedly turn to DS1, and make comments such as "you're such a good boy. You don't make a fuss like your brother" etc etc.
Also, my mother had three fairly biddable DDs, and a lot of family support re childcare.
We had special clothes for Sundays, and couldn't play out on that day. We sat and read quietly. Our opinions were never sought, so we didn't express them.
We were loved, but we were not a tactile family - I don't remember my parents ever being silly, or playing with us.
I have two lively, bouncy boys, and my mother adores them, but is baffled by them.
She has, however, apologised now that the boys are older, and I've gradually told her a bit about what it was like in those horrible, dark days, before we got the the root of DS2's problems.
I've learnt to cope without her support now though, so she's missed the boat.
Different children need different kinds of parenting.
It's hard enough bringing up children, without having criticism flung at you.
And each generation is programmed to think the ones that follow them have got everything wrong.