How long will I be able to "protect" them?

[MrsSnape]

I'm a single mum to two sons (aged 7 and 9). We live on a very rough council estate. I have always maintained that whilst we may be "poor" and live in a bad area my kids will not grow up with asbos and will make something of themselves. (I suppose all mothers say this!).

When DS1 was old enough to start school I delibrately bypassed our local school and got him in one further away (sorry to be non PC but - nicer selection of kids and parents).

Now at the ages of 9 and 7 it seems my kids are the only ones down the street who are not allowed to play out. I don't allow it because I don't want them mixing with the local kids (throwing stuff at cars, tresspassing in people's gardens, shouting stuff, learning "street" stuff...) as a result I think my kids are probably quite un-street-wise.

Anyway I've just been sat here thinking...and watching the other kids playing out (or hanging out). There is a 15 year old lad opposite with a can of lager in his hand and a cig in the other. The local 9 year olds are kicking footballs at each other calling each other "faggits" and "poofs"...my 9 year old is in bed with a book and my 7 year old is in bed dreaming up ways to save extra pocket money...

However I know I can't keep this up forever. One day they're going to want to do what the "Other" kids are doing...I think DS2 will be more likely to go off the rails at the earliest opportunity as he's already a handful at school...realistically, how long can I keep this protective bubble up?

I'm terrified of the kids going off the rails and ending up on the dole like everyone else around here

We can't - I'm not working and DP's income is less than when we got house. We need higher multiples. It's not as easy as just sell and move. I wish it was. We have to finish the decorating and we have to wait for the market to stabilise. I'm not taking a loss on this house and i'm not going back to renting.

I am sure that with you as a parent they will turn out just fine.
I think you need to geth then into after school clubs or weekend sports clubs as they get older. This is good for discipline and friendship making.
I don't think it necessarily follows that they will want to do what these other kids are oing.
By instilling them with ambition and confidence they are more likely to be dreaming of how to get away from the estate than wanting to join in with it.

Maybe you could work towards moving by the time they are secondary school age?

If i was you i'd cut and run, can you wait 10 years for the prices to rise again, this has only just begun, your looking at -40% in the next 5 years.
My advice is get rid as fast as possible, even if that means a small loss, better than being repossessed.

Katie - You said experts say in 2013 (which is 5 years away) Prices will have recovered, then you say there will be a 40% loss in five years time?????

And who said luckySalem was at risk of repossession. She just afford to move and get a new mortgage. She didn't say she couldn't afford her currant mortgage payments.
My advice to Lucky is to sit tight. No one knows what is going to happen to the market, for every expect that says there will be a crash there is someone else who says it will just be a correction.

Mrs S - it sounds as though you are doing a fantastic job, and tbh, having a parent who takes parenting seriously, and instills good values, is probably the most important factor in producing well adjusted kids.
Having said that, I would agree with all the others who have said move asap. There's no doubt that it will become harder to be the main influence on your children's lives as they get older. Yes, a lot of landlords won't accept people on benefits (and there can be sound reasons for this, eg insurance cover can be difficult to get, if claimants are overpaid then the landlord can suddenly be faced with having to pay back their own rent money etc).
I would move heaven and earth to get employment. I know it isnt always easy, so I don't mean that in a glib way. I honestly believe it is the route out of where you are stuck now. Even if you start off in something low status, you are getting your foot on the ladder - and who knows where this could lead in, say, 5 years time? Also, I would be totally prepared to compromise size of property for getting into a more decent area. Even if you have to spend the next few years living in rather cramped conditions, it'll be worth it if it gets you into an area where you feel comfortable and where your children will have more like minded kids around. Good luck - you sound like a great parent.

Thanks for all the messages of support, its nice to hear that people think I'm doing the right thing. I sometimes worry that I'm preventing them from being "kids" but then I look at them and look at the kids around here and know I prefer the way mine are.

I definately agree that employment is the way out of this situation. I don't care about the money, as long as I'm not worse off I'll work for any wage. Its the principle, the fact that I'm paying my way, supporting my own kids, being a role model and ultimately being able to move into a decent area.

problem with trying to swap is that it's nigh on impossible if you live in a shitty area.

start walking dogs, running errands, whatever you can to get out of there.

It is hard to get a swap like expat said, but one of my friends managed to swap her flat in a shitty area for a house in a nicer area. The person she was swapping with wanted to be close to her family. So its impossible.
Put yourself on the exchange list and cross your fingers.

I meant - Its not impossible

what you can do, too, is secure any type of employment you can that's over 16 hours.

this will entitle you to working tax credits and possibly more CTC if your children need to attend after-school club or other registered child minding.

BUT, then you can potentially rent a flat or home at 'market rent' owned by an HA.

most will have a minimum income, BUT they will include benefits like WTC and CTC when calculating your minimum monthly income - something some private landlords may not - AND you can then apply for HB to help with the costs.

the tenancy is also assured.

bieng in work can give you more options, even if working poor.

also, is your ex/the children's father paying ample support for his children?

MrsS - Can I suggest fostering dogs as a security factor? I've just registered to do it cos of the area and it'll make me feel safer to have a largish dog watching over the house.

As for money - Do anything and I mean anything you can to start raising some money. We aim to be out of here before DD starts primary school no matter the housing market but for now we're staying put and making sure the house is locked at ALL times.