Please help with DD - I'm feeling like a crap mother at the moment

[LuckySalem]

DD is 6 months and I feel like a failure already.

She's constantly wingeing (it's not crying, there's no tears or anything) if you look away from her. I think she's probably teething but even once I've given her calpol and stuff she still does it - Also it doesn't seem like pain cos she grins at me as soon as I look at her.

She's also going through a phase of wanting to be held all the time. Which I wouldn't mind normally but I do need to get some housework done.

She won't sleep in the day anymore. I used to be able to get her to sleep 10-12 and then 3-6 but now she has maybe half an hour during the day and then rubs her eyes all day whilst wingeing at me.

I know she's a baby and they're meant to cry but all day?!

I think i'm probably failing her cos we don't have a routine (apart from those sleep times which have gone now too) she gets up when I can't get her to stay asleep anymore which can be anytime between 6 & 10am. I often forget to give her lunch (solids) we have dinner at different times everyday ranging from 6 - 9 at night (if its any later than7:30 I won't give her solids just her bottle.

Night times have become a fight each night. She'll start to get tired and rub her eyes but I put her to bed and she screams I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel as though I'm not doing enough for her but I need some time to me.

Ours is a bit like this

7:00am bottle
8:00am solids
9am-10am sleep
10:30am bottle
11:15am solids
12:00-2:00pm sleep
2:30pm bottle
5:00pm solids
6:30pm bottle
7:00pm bed

It is rare for us to stick to this but this is my vague plan. Obv the earlier they get up and have the first bottle, the earlier everything else shifts. DS2 is in the process of dropping his 10:30am bottle (did not have any today). I think DS1 dropped that feed around 7 months too. DD has only just come down from having six bottles in 24hrs so think she will keep hers a while.

Just saw your last post. If mine fall asleep in bouncy chair or on floor, they never sleep very long (20 mins or so), so definitely might help putting her in her cot in her own room if you can.

Also we don't do bathtime every night (have a 2-yr old as well as DTs so just can't fit it in), they are lucky to get a bath twice a week, but they still settle down ok to sleep at night and have done for a few months (did not of course mean they slept all night, but they settled ok!).

I found DD couldn't go more than about 2-3 hours between naps (but then she was very active between, but I think it's a natural babything) If she didn't nap she would be a right whinger. So, after two hours, I would take her up to bed, dim lights, read her a story in a quiet slow voice and she would get the idea, yawn, rub her eyes, or not. Mostly she would and we got into a good napping routine - 9:30-11, and 2-3:30, roughly, and if she napped like that she wouldn't be overtired in the evening so slept ok at night.

It was a faff, but eventually paid off. I know all children/babies are slightly different, but the 2-3 hour thing is a real rule of thumb, I reckon.

Hope it gets better.

Ok I think i'm getting this.

I need to get her into some sort of a routine. Get her room sorted so she can sleep in there. Start giving her proper food during the day and entertain her more.

Anyone got any good things to keep a 6 month old happy?

So far I'm gonna go for a walk with her twice a day (we're getting a foster dog soon so that'll help make me) Swimming - although can only afford that once a week. Parent and Toddlers we go once a week already.
I've got a couple of toys she can play with on her own (i'd heard that they should have alone time, is this right?)

wooden spoon and tupperware is good drum practice. (Just don't let her stick pointy end down her throat!)

Board books always great - difficult to rip and nice short storytime. Do you have a toy library near you?

Walks are great - lots to see, and fresh air for both of you.

I think getting her to nap in her room will be great.
You're doing all the right things - lots of luck, I'm sure it will get easier, and I bet she's just gorgeous (if exhausting).

MLM - She is gorgeous... I love her to pieces but I do have moments when I have to walk away from her and its horrid.
Also don't think I can do pots and spoons - DP works nights and sleeps in the day He may not be pleased. LOL

Ok so we haven't finished her room yet so i'll try to get it done over the weekend and start from monday with a new routine and I'll actually try to stick to this one.

I love lists and stuff like that so you'd have thought a routine would be like a breath of fresh air but I just never stick to it.

well you cant beat yourself up for every time you stray off the routine or it just means its more trouble than its worth. remember the routine is supposed to HELP you so if it becomes a big stick to beat yourself with, then you can make it more vague or whatever.

i can send you a couple of board books if you like?

I've got 3 board books and a book that floats in the bath.

I need to go to the laundrette later so I think i'll pop to the library while I'm waiting and register and get some more.

I am a bit crap on fun things for mine to do as can't quite face toddler groups etc with all three children. I tend to stick the babies under the activity arch / in the baby swing / in a bouncy chair / in the highchair and try not to leave them in one place too long or they get bored. They love little rattles and stuff to look at, and those cloth books that feel a bit scrunchy (can't quite think how to describe). Anything that they can put in their mouths keeps them happy for a while. Their fave thing though is me dancing in front of them singing . I dance and sing very badly.

Thanks though Ruffle - Thats really kind of you.

Egg - DD likes it when I dance around the kitchen (that's how I get to make some dinner)

I've spoken to DP and he's agreed to sort out her room on his day off on Thursday so hopefully we'll be able to put her in there at the weekend.

I just hope this eases something cos otherwise i'm gonna go nuts (well worse than I am already)