Just been told by my neighbour that a convicted paedophile has moved into the block of flats at the end of our close

[unaccomplishedfattylegalmummy]

I don't really speak to her (not because I don't like her, just we've recently moved in and never really got round to it), but she made an effort to come over and speak to me (she lives over the road), I don't know where she got the information, but I thanked her for telling me. She has told all the mums in the close and she is going to get a petition on the go. She doesn't know his name, what he looks like or even what flat he lives in.

She just said I should keep an eye out for anyone I didn't recognise hanging around the close. (Recognise everyone who lives here, as it's a small close). We live in a new build close so all the gardens have low fences so it's very easy to see in each others' gardens. The fences come up to about bust level. The close is actually the back of all the houses and theres a carpark/road where all the kids play out together. I don't let mine play out yet as they're too young, but I wanted to as they got older.

I don't know how to feel, a part of me is thinking gossip, take it with a pinch of salt. But the other part is thinking what if she's right? It's really put a dampner on the house as I love it. I'm also in 2 minds now whether to get the paddling pool out and let them run about semi naked in the hot weather.

God I hate these sick bastards why can't they all just fuck off and die somewhere alone so we can relax and let are kids play. Jeez I feel so fucking angry.

Just keep an eye on your kids and who is around when you do let them out to play, as per normal. Let them continue to be kids, enjoying kids things without fear. Alert but not alarmed.

And agree with the poster who recommended you teach them about possible danger from strangers/family/friends etc..... in a non scary way (not sure how to do that myself, maybe someone can suggest how the conversation could start?/should happen?)

You're right Carmanere, I probably shouldn't have told her to f off. But was so pissed off that she seems to be taking her PMT out on me. I've actually been on MN for over a year.

And no Ruffle that will not do, how have not listened to peoples' opinions?? Can you point me in the right direction.

how have I

Ooops ok Ruffle, peace is restored.

oi, i do not have pmt, ta v much.
an opinion is not something that only happens once a month to me.

I had a funny do at the weekend.

Was at my brother's house and there is a convicted paedophile who lives on my brother's road.

There is also a small park which is a 4 minute walk but you come back on yourself and the park is actually behind my brothers back garden.

So I let the kids walk by themselves to it (they are 7 & 5) thinking this was a bit of longed for freedom and independence in a safe kinda way.

So, am sitting on the deck chair with me fruit juice (!) listening out for the kids arriving at the park when I remembered the guy down the road and I did get the ol' prickles up the back of me neck.

Up until this point, I would have been first to shout "Oh FFS, there's more danger from people they know...yada yada".

The point is, when you do know or even suspect that you know a paedophile is close by, it does make you feel differently and analyse your choices more closely.

In the case of the OP - say nothing til you hear more & do NOT get involved with any petitions etc because this bird accross the road is going off cack-handed. She clearly knows nowt.

Carry on as if you have heard nothing because as someone further down the thread pointed out, there'll be half a dozen within 5 miles of your house and you never worried about them before!

If someone turned up on my doorstep announcing that she had it on good authority that someone in a local block of flats was a paedophile - but she didn't know who, or what he looked like, or which flat - but she was 'getting a petition up' (to whom? to do what?) - I'm afraid I'd gently ease her off my doorstep, avoid her in future, & carry on with my life.

Baseless scaremongering.

PS - top tip I got from Mumsnet - do NOT have SECRETS, only surprises!

By RuffleTheAnimal on Tue 29-Jul-08 23:46:30
"oi, i do not have pmt, ta v much.
an opinion is not something that only happens once a month to me. "

Sorry

ooh, thanks

The cry of "pedophile" is the modern equivalent to the cry of "witch".

All it takes is a hint of gossip and before you know it, some old bugger who is a bit different and lonely is being burned at the stake.

Don't get me wrong, I have zero sympathy for anything that happens to an actual creep, but it seems to me that the ones that you really have to worry about are not that noticeable.

So you keep your kids safe and teach them that they don't have to let anyone touch them in any way they don't like and you teach them safe words and you teach them to fight and kick and bite if someone tries to take them and you watch them closely while they are little. But above all you don't teach them to fear because what kind of life is that?

I would bet good money that there is a "paedophile" on pretty much every street

However the chance that any particularly 'paedophile' is going to toss your child into a van and drive off is extremely remote

I would imagine you are no greater or lesser risk than anyone else here

Excellent post Morloth.

Of course there is a paedophile living near you - whether it turns out to be this alleged one or not. There is no point in getting worked up over it, especially on this 'evidence'. I agree with the advice to teach your children about basic stranger awareness, no secrets etc, but otherwise just let them get on being children.

The truth is that you know nothing about any of your neighbours. This woman could be a child abuser for all you know.

She sounds like a vicious gossip.

If it is true what harm can your children come to in their own garden? Assuming it's safely enclosed.

Sounds like bollocks,

bollocks that may run some poor innocent man out of his home

It may be true BUT in all honesty I think all of us probably live some distance to a peadophile, sad but true. Your just worried because someones planted the seed in your head that one actully is close.

Doodle makes a very good point.

Yes, it is no doubt scaremongering, but actually when you realise a paedophile does live close by, it does make you feel differently, even though the risk is minimal (and it is).

The most important thing is to protect your own children and teach them to stay safe whilst allowing them freedom to play - and there is no problem with allowing them to play freely in your own back garden.

I think emailing the police to let them know what you have heard was very sensible. The police may well not tell you anything at all, but it'll give them priceless information about the possible actions of this woman and anyone else she manages to stir up. So well done on that.

I should think the police are likely also to give you some useful standard advice as to keeping safe - that, as other people have said, applies in all situations and all circumstances, completely irrespective of local rumours about a particular person.

Morloth 8>38 this mornig

"So you keep your kids safe and teach them that they don't have to let anyone touch them in any way they don't like and you teach them safe words and you teach them to fight and kick and bite if someone tries to take them and you watch them closely while they are little. But above all you don't teach them to fear because what kind of life is that?"

Hear hear

Just wanted a bit of advice really as to the best way to start to teach kids how to stay safe, that not all adults are to be trusted, to 'fight back' and all that withour scaring the bejeesus out of them.

My dd1 is 5 and I have started to talk to her about not going off with anyone she doesn't know as she is more 'independent' now in playparks and other reletively safe environments. Then the other day at an adventure park she was momentarily 'lost' and couldn't see me and started shouting Mummy. A friendly woman (a stranger) helpfully took her to the kiosk and they put out a call for me. All very well but the 'not going off with someone you don't know' message didn't kick in.

I want to teach her to be safe, but I'm struggling with how to tell her that some people may wish her harm without giving her nightmares or making her scared of everyone.

You have to reinforce the "Check with me first" stuff everytime they might be out of your sight thing.

We are always running into other kids/parents/nannies DS knows. But everytime we go to park or something I say "Now remember to check with ME before you go - no matter what" and he has everytime. Though I do keep a close eye on him (from a distance).

It's a bugger cause above all I want him to be safe, but I also don't want him to be scared.

i hope its not just gossip as we have this dear friend who is disabled and harmless loves chuildren but not in that sense was never blessed with a family of his own

well he has been beaten up and flat has been burgled he has been abused verbally physically and he is disabled

all because someone spread that he wasa peodaphile and his not just very friendly person he has been re housed twice and has now been put in 3 story flat can hardly walk no lifts but due to hassle had no choice and the other day someone stole his mobility scooter its still going on

if its true then i would worry but unless i knew for sure after seeing what my poor friend of the family has gone through it disgusts me how the innocent can just be treated like this with no proof

poor man has no idea why he is being treated this way or why they started this rumour but will never be able to escape it and suffers every day

i hope for your sakes its not true but be careful about getting caught up in gossip if no evidence of how they know can be backed up truthfully but just led on hearsay

as i have seen what happens to innocent people witch hunted

Sometimes I wonder about Mumsnet and then at other times I read threads like this that are so full of common sense and I feel all - even though it is a serious topic.

... although bubblagirl's posting is a salutory reminder about why it is so importnt not to jump to conclusions.

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