Do I win the prize for shittest mum for my performance yesterday?

[Moomin]

The dds (6 and 2) were sent packing upstairs to play whilst I sat at kitchen table on mumsnet doing some work. I could hear dd2 shouting but thought it was just random noise and guessed she was ok as dd1 was up there with her...

So some 20 mins later my next door neighbour rings me up to tell me that dd2 is shouting to them in their garden telling them that's she's stuck standing on her windowsill (the window only opens right at the top, thank God) having climbed up from her table and the table having fallen over, she can't get down and she's done a poo in her pants.

and meanwhile, dd1 is in her room engrossed in her Horrid Henry book and so has ignored dd2's shouts

God I'm shit!

But she doesn't seem too scarred by the experience...

Write the story in her memory book. She will laugh at that lots when she is older

Not at all!

I once didn't go straight up to my 3 year old and when I did I found him sat on the windowsill. I nearly had a heart attack.

Poor love probably pooed her pants in fear. Use it as a lesson in appropriate places to climb.

lol she wasn't frightened really - just annoyed that she couldn't get down. When I took her down she stated "I been talking to C and C in their garden". I'm surprised they didn't ring social services

At least you have the good sense to have decent, safe windows and she was on the inside.
Within a short time it will become a family legend and one that will sure to come out at every Christmas family gathering in the future when they are teenagers with boyfriends in tow

Or maybe a good story to tell at her wedding

That's a really funny story, thanks for telling it!

Fabulous! However, to qualify for the crap mum award, you should have been watching Jeremy Kyle whilst applying false nails. Sorry, maybe next year

I'm laughing! How funny.

i am laughing too, despite the obvious seriousness of this laspe in perfect mothering

it was the poo that did it.

LOL.

When I was about 3 my mum heard similar whinging coming from me but ignored me. Finally when the screams became more serious she came to investigate and found I'd fallen into the toilet and couldn't get out. I don't remember it all but she often pulls it out as an example of her bad parenting to cheer up others!