A good age to start Talking SO Your Kids WIll Listen... etc?

[BroccoliSpears]

I've just got it from Amazon.

(Been crying laughing at Cod's tutorial. Good stuff.)

Dd is 2.2 - too young?

oooh - yes ~ I would like a HTTSKWLALSKWT (!) thread. Ds is just 3 and moving away from the random, unfathomable tantrums to a more subtle form of torture.

birth

Have you seen this thread Rabbit?

Yes remember howling with laughter!

Thanks for link though - more relevant now.

I do some vaguely HTT stuff with ds. I do find the whole 'wish fulfillment" stuff really effective....

DS: "I want an ice lolly" (already had two today)

ME: " Yes, wouldn't it be wonderful if the garden and the house and the street and the sky were all made of ice lollies and we could eat them every day for breakfast, lunch dinner...."

DS: Wonders off to poke stick at tree - too bored to listen anymore.

From the moment you know you are pregnant

I reckon you can start using the basic principles at 2 - a lot of it won't be relevant yet though

my DD wasn't too bad at 2, I muddled through by myself, but now she has turned into a tyrannical stroppy 3 year old I am finding the strategies in the book really useful!

Should have clarified, I don't plan to employ banshee screeching until a predefined date and then suddenly become Mrs HTTSYKWLetc . I was more wondering when (in your opinion) the strategies start to have a real effect.

I would say the strategies start having a real effect from 3 onwards - i.e. when they start becoming more verbal and have the beginnings of logic

the only reason I said birth is that getting to talk/ explain to them all the time from the start is a good thing and that sort of progresses naturally

birth

I LOVE THIS BOOK!!!!!!

I've used it today and things actually work. I am horrified by how often I routinely dismiss her or just say no. I really thought I was an ubercool listeny parent. I'm really not.

Example:

Me: (pointing to a lizard about 20 feet up a tree) Look at the lizard dd!
Her: I want to go up there.
Me: You can't go up there dd, it's too high.
Her: I WANT TO GO UP THERE (rotary blades start whirring)
Me: Dd you can't it's... hang on... erm... wouldn't it be nice to go up there and say hello to the lizard?
Her: (suspicious) Yes...?
Me: And what would you say to the Lizard if you were all the way up there?
Her: I'd say "Hello Mr Lizard!!" Let's go and see the ducks now mummy.

Well it must be only mine who the empathy thing doesn't work with.

It did the first couple of times but now he just shouts 'DON'T SAY THAT WORD I WANT >>>>>> (whatever it is)' and repeats it ad infinitum. He usually hits me too if I try the 'wouldn't it be great if...' line

I don't give in and we have the tantrum then he is fine about it. He just seems to be driven even more wild with anger if I try and sympathise.

I've used it with my 20 month old DD.

In the womb.

Lazycow, my rejoinders to this scenario are:
"tough"
or
"want must be your master"
or
"you can't always have what you want and that goes for everyone"

DH is more subtle, he yells "I want a child who is not obnoxious!"
I think he was a bit stressed at work today.
Then he yells "Mummy wants some peace and quiet"
and I joined in "I want a home all on my own!"

Oh it was so catharthic, and DD was so surprised at our yelling she shut up, did fake crying then finally packed it in.