Advice needed on how to handle talking to a friend about her 9yo DC who has been "nasty" to my DC of 2yr10mth

[EmmaDilemma]

Really undecided on how to approach this awkward conversation I feel I should have...or should I?

Had a recent outing with friends of 10yrs & children of various ages where adults sat & chatted over a picnic, children running around nearby. 2 weeks later when DC sees a photo of 9yo, DC pipes up that 9yo was "nasty" to him. When pressed DC says 9yo took his drink and wouldn't give back! Hardly shocking but DC visibly upset by this with eyes welling up. (I believe DC is NOT making it up.)

I've been trying to avoid leaving my LO in sole company of any older child other than cousins; its too much to expect all due care & attention will be shown by the older child and now my reluctance seems to be right.

I'd like my fiend to give me the opportunity to talk to her 9yo about the respect I expect from him; am I right here? should I forget it afterall my DC wasn't hurt? what advice would you give?

I'd forget it to be honest.

TBH, I'd let it go and just keep a close eye if they are together again. Reassure your DC that you will always look after him and tell him to come straight to you and tell you if it happens again.

9yr olds are still children and will behave childishly and badly at times. Far too long after the event to bring up a minor incident like this. It's bad behaviour so fine to have mentioned it at the time, but not now - forget about it and keep a closer eye on your 2 yr old next time you see them - then you can say something if necessary.

I agree with other posters. Let it go.

Luckylady just said what I meant but far more eloquently.

Oh Lordy no, leave it alone.

Two weeks ago is too long, and you will sound like a nutter to the other parents.

Sorry.

Let it go. You don't have the full story. Perhaps your two year old was squirting the drink at the 9 year old, you just don't know.
I think in the grand scheme of things it is a minor incident.
Let it go, tell your ds that next time anyone is nasty to come and tell you straight away and you will come help him.

Noooo...don't tell them. You will sound mad and petty. You don't know what happened. Two year olds are not reliable witnesses. Keep an eye in future and tell him (as Russelbrussel says) to come to you if someone is mean to him.

I'd be very careful about raising something that may or may not have happened two weeks ago, as related by a child under three.
Yours is not necessarily making it up, but could well have misunderstood an act or gesture. You did not witness this.
You say the people on the outing are longstanding friends. So presumably you know this child to some extent. Does he have a past record in tormenting smaller children? Is there anything about the child that makes you uncomfortable?
I'd leave it and watch the child in question the next time you are all together.
But if you do raise it with the friend, I'd be wary of couching your opinion the way you have here - IMO not many people would appreciate having a "friend" asking for the opportunity to state you want respect from this boy, especially on the belated say-so of a toddler. You need to be much surer of your grounds for concern.

Ha ha Fabio, you put it so much more directly than I did

Ooh, yes, the idea of demanding 'respect' for a two year old! it's a bit cringey. Especially respect from another child.

Mmmm yes I'll leave it just here & think nothing more on it. Ta.