Very 'physical' play - 3.5yr olds!?

[mrschop]

My DS is 3.5, as is his friend - his friend tends to play in what can best be described as a 'power rangers' style... this involves pushing, poking, jumping on his back etc. My DS still likes Thomas & CBeebies, so looks a bit bemused by this! I try to watch them and explain that 'DS doesn't like being pushed, why not play like this ...' (eg chasing, jumping etc, small amounts of contact).

I know boys can be quite boisterous, but they seem very young to be playing so roughly. Am I being over sensitive?

My DS is 3 this week, as is his best friend. I'm afraid they seem to like nothing better than to push each other as much as possible to try and get them to fall over. My DS adores Thomsas, CBeebies, etc must is pretty boisterous.

You are not being over sensitive - it's really hard to see them being rough, especially given your DS is not. It is normal, though, unfortunately!

Best advice is to let them keep playing and try and turn a blind eye! He'll soon work out what to do.

Ds1 is a similar age and I would put him in the boisterous category. I fret every time he's playing with other children cause I panic he's going to hurt them. I think its a natural age thing cause some of his friends play the same some don't. I hope that over the next year or so he'll calm down as he learns more about playing with others. What we are trying to do is limit that amount of play and tv etc he watches like that so he doesn't see that behaviour as the norm. They do adjust to each other over time though.

mrschop I could have written the same post about my DS and his friend (3.2 and 3.7yrs respectively). DS doesn't really "get" rough & tumble play, and gets a bit upset by it- but his friend is very much into it. I spend my life on playdates trying to explain to DS' friend that he doesn't like being pushed/sat on etc etc. I know soon enough DS probably will get right into all that but he doesn't seem to be there yet (bless).

The problem is DS is quite big and strong - partly why we've made a particular effort to discourage hitting and pushing etc - and he eventually gets fed up and ends up whacking his friend, with predictable results! I then have to tell him off but I kind of understand why he's got so cross. As you all say, I spend all the time they are together hovering over them - the friend's mum doesn't seem bothered by it at all.

It is normal. I don't think it has anything to do with tv programmes. Ds is still very much into cbeebies & bob the builder etc but has soon as he started the nursery class at school when he was 3.5 he started playing like this because that is how the other boys played. I am never really sure when to intervene as it often ends in tears.

I see older boys play fighting, but they're old enough to not actually make contact. And I am concerned that they do sometimes hurt each other - the other day DS was pushed and landed on the corner of the table. But intervening makes me feel like a real nag.

4 year old DS can be the sweetest most gentle boy in the world....and will also quite happily crash tackle his mates and wrestle.

I think it is normal boy stuff, though he does have a little girl mate who is as mad as the boys - personally I think he is FANTASTIC. She kind of reminds me of Buffy (vampires), she is all flowers and pink and barely controlled violence - cracks me up.

If they do look like the are going to get boisterous I send them outside, if that isn't possible the boy's room is fairly safe (mostly soft furnishings and rounded edges) so in there instead.

I love it, all three of us are loud/physical people and it is just so simple - am terrified if have another baby and it is a girl, what if she is soft and quiet! Poor little thing.