Fussy babies turn into badly behaved children

[Wallace]

This is what a friend was saying she read in her newspaper.

A "fussy" baby apparently is one that cries and wants to be fed often, and wants to feed for a long time

My friend went on to say that even though her dd was a fussy baby she seems to be okay, and the problem probably is when parents "give in" to their fussy babies, and they learn that they can do what they want.

Um. Surely most babies cry and want to be fed? And IMO you are more likely to create a problem by not meeting a baby's needs for food and comfort

God people talk crap don't they?

Why?

What is this infernal need they have to talk shite?

I have a better theory for your friend

It holds true from what I've experienced

Feel free to share it

It is that every person has the same amoutn of tears and fussiness ... if you don't get it as a baby, you get it as a toddler, if not as a toddler then at school age, if not at school age, then at puberty .. and woe betide you if it isn't done by puberty .. cos teenagers are the worst

if that fails to work my other philosophy can be used: shut the feck up you twat

My other theory is that there are limited number of tantrums .. which is why it is very rare to see two children tantruming at the same time .. if another child is tantrumming then yours won't ..

twiglett

Guess which paper btw?

Twigg, that's a wonderful theory, next time DD threatens tears I'll tell her she used up her quota by the time she was 9 months old, so just stop it.

I like Twiglett's theory. I had the easiest pregnancy of anyone I know, and he has given me nothing but trouble ever since. (7 years of it)
But another good one, is that fussy babies want to be near you, and they will turn out to be loving, cuddly children. Mine is. For all his constant pestering, it is so worth it, to get the cuddles and hugs.

Another one that silences the smug parents of quiet babies, is for you to claim all "fussing" as a sign of intelligence.
FWIW, DS is highly intelligent, but that would require a whole separate thread.

well it's true for dd.

she was a nightmare for her first year and she's a little monstor now.

i love her but she's drive a saint to drink the way she behaves.

favourite phrases at the minute whenever she's told not to do something;

'i don't want to listen to you!'
'i'm not mommy/daddy/ds/friend's best friend anymore'

she kicks, bites, breaks things, throws things, screeches like a banshee at the slightest provocation, attacks her brother, blames him for everything she does that's bold (ie.... who drew on the wall? coogie did it. who tore the book? coogie did it. even when i know for a fact it was her like when the drwing on the wall is too high up to have been ds )

she's cute as hell when she's asleep though

i'm remaining positive she'll grow out of it at some point...... or at least move out of home in a mere 15 years or so!

I heard that in the news, too, but I can't find
anything in the papers.
Wallace, which newspaper was it?

Oh dear - If this is true we're in for one hell of a ride!!

I'm guessing it was the DM or similar!

Lordy, yes, manipulative little sods, babies.

Best to ignore them at all times, for fear of making a rod for your back.

In fact, should you make a rod for your back at any point, remove it (in manner of Doctor Who weirdy beetle thingy on CatherineTate Donna) and save it for whacking fussy baby when they turn into eventual naughty kid.

Or whack people who think this sort of thing about babies instead. Yes, a much better idea.

oh bugger i'm in for one hell of a ride.
ds was an easy baby, he's 9 and we're in a v bad patch i swear i will be bald before the end of this month i'm pulling at my hair so much

dd was a very fussy baby she's 2 what state will i be in by time shes 9

oh dear i better put in prescriptions at the docs now, they might get the right medication for me at the right time (that is whole other thread- i hate my docs!)

Twig, I've heard that theory - and lived it too.

Let's just say I was a horrible teenager.

My poor parents! Wotta shock!

Maybe DM but it was reported on the BBC
and the study was published in a serious journal.
There was a bit more meat to the study than your friend's summary suggest.

Very odd that I can't find it online, must be looking in the wrong places.

Got it.

Must put Ocado shop away first.

bonkers!

my v fussy high need dd has turned into scarily obedient (mostly)

my fussy high need ds is a cheeky imp.

blah silly theory

i was a screamy baby
and a horrible teenager

dull as fuck in between

and since of course

"The report added that no matter what the parenting style, children whose mothers gave them plenty of intellectual stimulation in the first year of life by reading to them, talking to them and taking them out of the house were less likely to have serious behaviour problems. "

i like the above quote from daddyj's link - there is hope for me yet i do all hose thngs if i didnt talk to the kids i'd talk to no-one sometimes for days and if we didnt leave the house i'd be in prison- ds would never get to school

The DM sexed up their article by turning it into
a pissing contest between Leach and Ford
but the core of the article is accurate.

Summary in Netdoctor
More of the same in Reuters

A critical voice:
Kiwi SuperNanny says B. Humbug

Now I want to get my hands on the actual study.
Wallace, thank you very much for the thread, turns out I was searching for the wrong keywords.

Two more articles (Mum-mum blog,medicalnews) for more confirmation and the actual study itself.
Abstract only, study will set you back £16.

To come back to the OP, I think your friend (and the DM) have misunderstood the research findings.
This is not much to do with the old 'hippie attachement vs hardcore routine' debate.

Once more:
"interventions focusing on parenting during the first year of life would be beneficial
in preventing future child conduct problems?Greater emphasis should be placed on increasing
maternal cognitive stimulation of infants in such early intervention programs,
taking child temperament into consideration."

In a nutshell, the first year matters. The more in tune you are with your baby,
the more intellectual stimulation you can give her, the better.
I would say this also applies to Dads as well as other people who look after the baby (grandparents etc)

Finally, let's not ingore the 'child temperament' bit.
In other words, there is only so much you as a parent can do.
If your lo is a high-need 'fussy' baby there is a good chance he will be a troublesome teenager.
Question is: Is that necessarily a bad thing?