my ds just ran across the road...

[chicca]

DS1 nearly 4 just ran off as I picked him up from nursery and ran across a (quiet -thank god) road to a sweet shop. He normally stops at the edge of the pavement but today he was with a friend as he left nursery and they both bolted. I am trying to make him see how dangerous it was, have got back home and drawn pictures etc but I feel we need to hammer home the message before he forgets what happened. When I ask him why he wasn't allowed to buy any sweets (as punishment) he doesn't know - help!

I don't know what to suggest other than maybe taking him to a different shop where you have to cross the road and saying if you show me how we can cross the road correctly, I will get you sweets.

Young kids are rubbish at road safety. My DS was run over - he still remembers!

he knows!

he's 4 - its a daily reinforcement thing - pontificating will make things worse

Honestly I would make him hold you hand for at least a month and every single time he whines about it or doesn't want to, reinforce the message about running across the road. BURN it into his memory. I did this with DS the one and only time he stepped onto the road alone. Hasn't done it since.

We showed dd a squashed squirrel after she did the same thing. The squirrel just happened to be near the same spot in the road the next day and it seemed a good point to make.

children aren't supposed to have road sense till they're ten and plenty of teenagers and adults walk out into the road without looking.
Sounds pretty normal for a 4 year old.

Recently my ds1, also 4 and also usually good with roads, scootered straight across a road - also was distracted by being with cousin and playing a bit of a racing game. All I could think of to do was to insist on holding his hand all the way to the park (which he didn't like) and explaining when we got there why it is dangerous & why I could only let him walk on his own if he stopped when I told him to & at roads. Then I reminded him firmly before we set off back that he must stop and wait for me at the road - and if not I would have to hold his hand again all the way home.
Don't know if that's any help but I think it sort of re-inforced that it was a serious matter and he was being trusted to be careful.

You can and should hammer home the message but you can't rely on a 4yo to remember it every single time they cross the road. Especially if they are distracted by a friend, or seeing something they want, or a really good stick on the other pavement or any of a 1001 other things of importance when you are four.

You just have to supervise road crossing carefully until he's a lot older. Don't rely on him to stop.

Children can't accurately judge the speed of moving traffic until they are around seven, btw, so even if they seem sensible, you should still be doing the thinking for them.

(And do you honestly cross in accordance with the Green Cross Code every single time you are with him? Modelling good behaviour is the biggest way you can influence him. I try very hard but sometimes slip up - and watching other parents I'd say 90 per cent give into the temptation to cut corners, dash across without waiting for the green man, etc. etc. etc.)

Well, quite shockingly, he seems to have remembered the incident and yesterday was very good and knows exactly what I am talking about when I bring the subject up - a first for him. Thanks for the advice