I hate myself right now - just got to end of tether and smacked DD

[failingmummy]

Name changed for this. Please don't flame me.

DD is 2+9. I've been trying all weekend to keep her occupied with DP being away. We've been swimming, to a school fete, shopping, made cakes, made bead necklaces, done crafty stuff.

All I've heard is "I'm bored" "I dn't like this" "I'm hungry" "I want a lolly / chocolate". She wouldnt' eat what I gave her, put any toys away or even let me talk to my mum for 5 minutes on the phone earlier without scraming the place down. She also seems to have slipped back in her potty training and having been dry for about 4 months had 6 "accidents" today all of them immediately after she'd refused to use the toilet.

The final straw was when she threw her tomato soup all over the carpet, then pinched me because I wouldn't give her a lolly. I picked her up and smacked her on the bottom. I didn't think about it I just did it.

Managed to get her in her pyjamas and read her a story and now she's been in bed an hour but I'm sitting here crying my eyes out. I know she's just being a normal 2 year old and I know I over reacted but just right now I am at the end of my tether.

Sorry

It's happened. We've ALL made bad parenting choices. I would defy any parent not to have 'lost it' after a day like that (whether the result be a smack on the bottom, yelling at your child or having an extra large glass of wine the minute they have gone to bed) The fact that you are posting on here and sound so upset shows that you know what you did wasn't right and I'm sure you won't do it again. Please don't beat yourself up about it.

Oh dear
this age can be so hard
do you think you are extra stressed yourself or is this par for the course? Obviously you need to find a way to not let it get to you so much
easier said than done I know
I have done things I feel ashamed of with my ds so I do get how you feel
what you need to do is find strategies for the future so you have other ways to cope even when you are absolutely losing it

you poor thing...all those activities...you must be exhausted
my two and half year old is exactly the same but with biting..I imagine him as a rugby ball and punt him satisfyingly over the uprights at the far end of a rugby pitch in my head...
tomorrow's another day dont forget

You're not a failing mummy at all. She pushed and pushed you and you smacked her on the bot. Maybe she will have learned something today and will be better behaved tomorrow.

You went to bed on a good note.She won't remember this tomorrow let alone next week. You don't sound like you'll do it gain - I find swearing in the bathroom helps or going upstairs kicking the wall and then trying to ditract them AGAIN!

You have my sympathy.
I remember my dd at this age and I was pregnant at the time.

One night in particular was horrid.
I cried for hours and even dh looked like he was on the brink of tears too.

Its a difficult stage thats for sure.

Every single one of us has been where you are, I'm sure - maybe not smacking but certainly yelling. And I certainly smacked my DS1 in temper once - not something I'm proud of, but equally not something he remembered. It's a big deal for you but one smack on the bottom aged 2 will not be a big deal for her in the grand scheme of things - she will forget quickly.

2 year olds are relentless and exhausting, but it does get better, I promise. Be consistent, have clear boundaries about what is unacceptable and you'll get there. Is there any family around that could give you a break?

you have my sympathy and i don't think anyone will flame you for this. i have been very close to smacking dd in the past few months. she hit the terrible 2s with a vengence and it's just nigh on impossible to listen to the sheer amount of moaning and complaining she does seemingly constantly without sometimes feeling the urge to lash out. So far i've managed to stick to my 'absolutely no smacking policy'. But please don't beat yourself up about this

I've done this. I literally snapped and it was like a instant reaction and it had an instant effect. She stopped what she was doing. I got satisfaction from that. That shocked me.

I've done that on about 2 other occasions and felt really bad. I haven't done it for about a year as DH and I decided not to discipline by hitting.

Please don't feel bad! Your dd will have forgotten by the morning and you can start the day with a fresh slate.

Oh thank you everyone.

In tears again but for a different reason. DD just came in and said "mummy I want a hug cos I love you".

We had a lovely hug and she's cuddled up next to me on the sofa dozing back to sleep.

Suddenly all seems worthwhile again.

We are under stress - DP and I are close to splitting up. We want to get through this but not sure that we will. Suspect poor DD is picking up on what's going on and that's why she's being so difficult.

fm - i've been there - dp and i were in a very similar situation about a year ago and the guilt that comes with such difficulties is enormous, isn't it?

are you going to relate or similar?

just wanted to offer a hug really. Your DD loves you - that says it all, you are not a failing mummy.

Just wanted to add another vote for 'you are completely normal, sound like a great mum.'