how do I discipline my suddenly demonic 5 year old?

[gemmiegoatlegs]

please can someone tell me as I have totally lost the plot. My ds turned 5 last week and, whilst he has never been the easiest child, he is behaving really badly . The last few months have been getting worse and worse. The bad behaviour is mostly reserved for me as he wouldn't dare play my dh up in the same way. He does have an occasional bad day at school, once a fortnight or so, where he has done things like flooded the toilets, spat at another child, engaged in dangerous things when specifically TOLD NOT TO!

At home i am starting to dread the weekends. He lords it over my dd (2) and pushes her around, he refuses to do the simplest things like getting dressed. I think the Naughty Step has outgrown its purpose as he sits happily for 5 minutes and comes back in a foul mood ready to kick off again. i physically have to remove him from the room to the step sometimes and when i do he lashes out, bites, kicks scratches me. Today he raked all down my arm with his nails. He also tries to spit at me.

Now I thought i was a really good mum, i am consistent, I do all sorts of activities, bake my own biscuits and spend loads of time with my kids but ds obviously thinks I am a soft touch to be walked over.

So how do you discipline kids when they are no longer babies? As I said, we do the naughty step, I try to ignore the bad and praise the good things, the last few months we have been withdrawing privileges, taking a toy away for the day, not letting him stay up for the movie etc. Tonight I have put him to bed early, whilst i played with dd, partly a punishment for him and partly for poor dd who is pushed in the background as he wreaks havoc.

How can i get control before we have to call in the blardy supernanny?

Cold turkey it is then. Remember it's not going to be easy as he's got use to all of these little luxuries. You can't afford this now . Keep hold of the cash you would have spent and go and have a facial to help you chill. It's just a phase and he needs retraining. Swimming's good though, I don't class this as a treat as it's an important skill. I'd keep this. The softplay is like hell for parents so I'd be more than happy to ditch this. You are far to generous with your time. You'll need to ignore him and let him learn to occupy himself for this to work. Try and spend a bit longer in the kitchen when he's playing. It's like a toy, if a child only has a few then he'll really look after what he has. Too many and he'll take them for granted.

It's lovely to see a parent spend so much time with their child though. I feel so mean now.

Hi Gemmie. Have only just spotted your post but can sympathise completely as I too have a five year old who has ups and downs. We have very similar discipline methods to you, such as withdrawing treats etc and like you are certainly not pushovers when it comes to discipline. What we are trying at the moment is a behaviour chart that we have printed from freebehaviorcharts.com (my ds likes the open backed lorry) we focused on one particular behaviour, at the moment it is listening and acting straight away. We have really praised our ds when he has done as asked first time and he gets a star. The lorry only contains seven circles so it doesn't take too long to complete the chart. Then we either buy a comic or go for a bike ride or whatever (within reason) is a justified reward. This has helped us to have a more positive way of dealing with the behaviour. Only time will tell if this will work but I thought it might give you something else to try. I will keep my fingers crossed for both of us!! Good Luck.

thanks bettybootoo. we sat together as a family and decided on some behaviour rules for all of us. Each child now has particular jobs they must do every day, not just when they feel like it. dd is 2 and has to feed the cat and pick up her own socks . we also made a new reward chart that will take us to the end of next week(when school breaks up). I am also cutting out all the treats that make for a spoilt brat and hopefully things will settle down for us soon. He has already enjoyed reinforcing the "rules" on his little sister. Yesterday was a lot better but i suppose the real test for all of us is the weekend. i hope things work out for you too

Hello OP, I am in a similarly tricky phase with my nearly 5yo. He explodes in anger or frustration in response to things which really don't deserve such an extreme reaction. He lashes out quickly if he gets frustrated and this has led to problems at school. We are trying a behaviour chart, but we had the most awful Christmas. What worked for you?