At what point is it past kids being kids and all kids do it?

[itati]

Just lately my children have all been hitting each other, they are 7.3, almost 5 and 3. One hour ago the 4 year old hit her older brother with a spoon on the head so hard it bled. It took us a few minutes to realise it was bleeding and once we had cleaned him up, I took him to a first aider to look at. She said her kids fight and all kids do it. She made his head bleed. I can't in all honesty believe that this is kids being kids and I have just got to accept it.

Having just spent the last 40 minutes making a victoria sponge with raspberries and cream for the kids I wonder if I do too much for them. I do absolutely everything and they don't do much at all to help me.

make them help you then. It will take a bit of nagging initially but better that than you being a general slave and dog's body and them treating you like crap.

In the past they have gone without something rather than help tidy up.

I have printed off some star charts and I will start afresh when they come home from school. I will try hard to be better.

I was just wondering itati - given what you were saying about your nannying (where I guess you were amazing & devoted yourself to the job), and the totally glorious cake-image I am getting - whether you are setting your ambitions a bit high? (For yourself - your own standards of what is "good enough" parenting?)

This is just a silly suggestion, but once or twice a year when we are all feeling shattered we have Pyjama Day - when the whole family doesn't bother getting dressed & we spend it watching movies & just flopping.

Which of course reminds me - has anyone else yet mentioned End Of Term shatteredness? Always a culprit for something!

I don't know whether to smile or cry at your comments, Bink. You sure you don't know me in RL! I am so immensely grateful for all this support as I am sure you must all be fed up with me by now. I'M fed up with me.

I was brilliant in my first every live in nanny job and adored that child so much. I tried so hard to do everything the best for her and when I had my baby I wanted to do everything right. I had a terrible childhood and was detrmined mine wouldn't. I feel they are though, in different ways. TBH I do love baking, it is one thing I can do well and I also know it is a sign the depression has eased a tiny bit.

Pyjama days sound fab and I will definitely be doing that in the summer holidays.

I appreciate my children are tired and they finish 2 weeks tomorrow I think.

Itati, sitters.com Get thee out!!!

Update.

I stayed in the kitchen the whole tea time to keep an eye and be there for them. I left the room when a phone call came through and after a few minutes DS2 was crying. DD had poked him in the eye with a fork.

I have 4, Itati, similar dynamics to you. I think I'll go nuts unless I accept that some of it is inevitable.

Trying to keep one of them star chart pasta jar thingies would drive me nuts -- no sooner would I turn my back to add one in/take one away & they'd be at it again!

DD put to bed v early in disgrace and I have just found her with her blind part open reading under the covers.

As long as she stays in bed, I'd let that (reading) go, Itati.
Is your DS's eye okay?

I took the book off her and lcosed the blind. Told her to go to sleep.

Ds is okay, thanks, and thankfully.