Lots of bandying around the terms "gay" and "lezzer" in ds's Yr4 class

[zog]

I really want to get it right when I talk to him about this. Any pointers from those who've been there already?

TIA

Oh that's a brilliant idea, thank you (we're in the same position re family/friends).

I do hate the way they've become terms of abuse amongst kids

Have had this. Seems to be a bit of a fascination at this age. We say:

• so what? nothing wrong with that, no big deal

If he persists:

• both dh and I work with gay people and are friendly with them (the mere shock of this has had desired effect). Actually, one of ds playmates has lesbian parents, but he hasn't clicked on this yet or mentioned it.

The third tack which I haven't needed to do yet will be the Captain Jack line because he worships the character. A very, very good example methinks.

I think Y4 is a year of social experimentation. Ds has come home with several new swear words and terms of abuse, many of them sexual. I think they hear these words (usually, IMO, from kids with older sibs) and try them out on each other, testing the boundaries. It doesn't really bother me because it raises the opportunity for discussion at home.

The biggie in ds' class atm is racist jokes. He comes home begging to tell me this 'fantastic' racist joke because it's really funny - I tell him it can't be funny if it's racist so I don't want to hear it, and advise him to be careful about who might be around if he chooses to tell it at school. Experimentation is part of growing up though.

LIke the idea of using Captain Jack though, will keep that one in mind!

this is happening in dd's yr3 class. We have quite a few gay friends so it hasn't been too much of an issue (I guess because it's all been normalised already?).

I agree with primula, once they realise that gay people are actually just like any other adult/person, the mystery is taken away a bit! But yes, usual inquisitiveness I think. Pushing boundaries, trying to understand the wider world, fascination with new things. It's quite an exciting age really.

'I do hate the way they've become terms of abuse amongst kids'

Oh so do I Zog!

My dd is also in yr 4 and I was quite surprised that they were using words like that at 9. How naive am I eh?

Someone said it to dd just because she has a lovely friend and they are always giggling and sharing secrets together the way little girls do.

She is such a girly girl and not into anything too grown up or sophisticated atm. To think that someone, let alone a classmate, would put that interpretation on her childhood friendship made me feel so sad tbh.

I have to say she handled it magnificently though. I was so proud of her. She stood right up to it. Said it was nothing of the sort but that it was rude to use names like that and that being gay, if you are, isn't something to be insulting about.

Then she went right back to being all sweet and a little girl again, having made a very grown up stand.