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Parenting

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Original poster

Leaving a 14 week old

14 replies

Gangle · 04/07/2008 12:39

DS is 14 weeks and DH is putting me under pressure to leave him with a babysitter so that we can have a night out just the two of us. We don't have any grandparents nearby who can help apart from DH's dad who I don't particularly trust with such a tiny precious baby. I'm thinking of leaving DS with a babysitter (from an agency and fully vetted etc) for 2 or 2 1/2 hours so that DH and I can go to dinner nearby. DH's dad will also be around to help. However, I'm already dreading it and feel that I am just not able to leave him at the moment. I left him in the gym creche for 20 minutes which I hated and don't want to do again. Should I push myself to leave him so that I can have a breather and some much needed time with DH or go with my gut and stay with him?

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AllBuggiedOut · 04/07/2008 12:42

It strikes me that there's little point in going out without him if you're not going to enjoy it because you're worried. But maybe he could come with you and sleep in the pram?

Claireykitten · 04/07/2008 12:49

I left DS for the first time when he was 7 months old with my much loved and trusted SIL for a maximum of maybe 2 hours whilst me and DH went for an anniversary meal and it was so so hard. DS was absolutely fine but Ive not done it again in the 2 months since!! I think what Im trying to say is that I would go with my gut and stay with him. Although I think it does get harder the longer you leave it so maybe you should bite the bullet and go.

Im sorry Ive not been much help really have I!

StealthPolarBear · 04/07/2008 13:00

I wouldn't, simply because you don't want to, so you would be stressed.
On the other hand...it's only a couple of hours and he would be fine - even if you do hate it it wouldn't last too long!

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babyOcho · 04/07/2008 13:37

DD is almost 17 weeks and DP and I have only left her once with a close friend in the afternoon for a couple of hours during her nap time. It was OK as we wanted to make sure that we could do it.

Maybe go for lunch instead of dinner, and go somewhere close?

Pitchounette · 04/07/2008 13:56

Message withdrawn

Pitchounette · 04/07/2008 13:56

Message withdrawn

Morloth · 04/07/2008 14:04

Can you go for dinner somewhere quite nearby?

If you really don't want to then don't - but marriages need work as well as babies so I would try to compromise.

phraedd · 04/07/2008 15:59

maybe you could get a nanny that has extensive newborn / baby experience - that way you'll be more comfortable about going out knowing that you have met and vetted the nanny yourself.

Where are you based?

TheProvincialLady · 04/07/2008 16:18

It's the putting you under pressure bit I'mnot so keen on. It is good to have couple time together but 14 weeks is still quite early and if YOU don't want to (if you left your baby at a creche for 20 minutes and hated it how will you feel about a whole evening) then don't. In a few weeks time you might be delighted with the idea. Surely your Dh wants you to actually enjoy yourself?

beckynbump · 07/07/2008 10:38

Why not take your little one with you. I take mine all over the place, but it was easiest when she was small as she just slept while we had dinner. I left her with Grandma from being very young but it was easier at first just to go for an hour at a time, until I was confident about leaving her. Do what you feel you are happy with, it will be the right thing I am sure.

Sidge · 07/07/2008 10:41

If you're not happy then no, don't do it.

(I had to go back to work when DD1 was 14 weeks!)

springerspaniel · 07/07/2008 11:36

My opinion is do it. I didn't do it enough (and still don't) and looking back, I really feel sorry for my husband who didn't have the same level of 'crazy hormones' that I had so he must have felt quite isolated.

What about just going out for a drink instead of a meal? Walk to the fish & chip shop and eat chips in the park? Something not too pressured.

You will hate leaving, you'll have nothing to talk about apart from your gorgeous LO and then at some point, even if just for a few minutes, you'll forget about being a mum. It can be really good for you!

Monkeytrousers · 07/07/2008 11:41

The first time will bw the hardest, really. What you are feeling is very natural but that diesn;t mean to say it's all good, especially when it comes to your relationship with DP.

Go to a resaurant just aroudn the corner or a five minute drive away so you can be back within munites if needs be.

But be very glad you have a partenr who wants to work at the relationsghip as well as the parenjting side. It is crucual to have that bond when times get hard, and belieev me, having kids can make them hard - so go for it and keep it up!

Paris88 · 07/07/2008 14:46

I also have a 14 week old, and the first time is the hardest. If we go out my husband likes us to leave him and sometimes his older brother 28mths with his parents, whom Im not happy to have looking after my kids. BUT, it is only afew hours and for sanity sake, reconnection with your hubby and a nice dinner that you can eat while hot AND all the way through without interruptions- its worth it.
Baby will be fine, you will get home and cuddle baby and cuddle husband and feel great!

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