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Parenting

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Original poster

impossible to meet friends now for lunch as DS is so active

33 replies

kittypower · 03/07/2008 16:28

My mothers group meet up once a week for lunch which is lovely, our DC are now 1 and my DS is by far the most active of them all. I have just come back from Lunch and am exhausted, stressed and feel a bit down. DS will not sit in a high chair, he just climbs out, give him anything to play with and he throws it on the floor, spends the whole time trying to grab anything in his reach on the table etc etc etc all this is going on while the other babies sit very happily and quietly in the highchairs and the mums eat lunch and chat....can anyone sympathise?!

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Lazycow · 03/07/2008 16:35

Oh yes - I can sympathise. I remember going out to lunch with some friends when ds was a bit older than this (about 18 months old ) and the friend's dd was the same age.

Oh don't worry' said my friend 'I have pens and stuff' when I mentioned that I didn't think ds would sit still for long. Ha Ha - Ds drew one line, chucked everything on the floor and then procedded to whinge until he could move around. Their dd sat for almost an hour playing with pens, stickers etc while they ate their meal.

This was normal for ds and tbh I avoided eating out to a schedule when he was this age. I would eat out with him but if he was particulalrly difficult I would just go home. This is hard to do if you are out with other people.

It will improve but I think it is more normal for babies/toddlers to not want to sit at a table for long.

Try and choose places to eat where there is space forhim to move around and where they are child friendly for a while. When he is a bit older you can encourage him to sit while you eat - He is too young for that at the moment.

witchandchips · 03/07/2008 16:36

In a few weeks time they will all start wriggling your ds is just a little bit more advanced!. Try and meet up for for picnics in the park instead

CrushWithEyeliner · 03/07/2008 16:37

I have one like this - I just try to meet up at someone's house instead or the park...I too think it is rather alien for toddlers to sit for lunch and rather normal behavior so don't worry about your DS.

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FrannyandZooey · 03/07/2008 16:37

meet up in a park cafe where they can run around nearby, or take a picnic to a playpark

sophiebbb · 03/07/2008 16:37

Oooooh yes! My DS (19 mths old) cannot sit still for one minute. I would not take him into a restaurant now by myself - my DH needs to be with me - and it is still a disaster because DH spends the whole time chasing him round the restaurant and we don't get a chance to chat etc!!

Yes I have friends with daughters who sit still. It's a marvel really!!!

FluffyMummy123 · 03/07/2008 16:38

Message withdrawn

lizandlulu · 03/07/2008 16:39

yes my dd is like this, although slightly better now she is nearly 3. i sometimes go in a charit shop and buy her a new toy before we go for lunch or coffe, hoping that it will entertain her for 15-20 mins. any longer there is no hope.
it is worth the quid or so!

lizandlulu · 03/07/2008 16:39

take a small tub of play dough or a etch a sketch thing?

Tommy · 03/07/2008 16:39

That's what happens as they grow up!
You're best off meeting at smeone's house or in the park. Your days of being "ladies who lunch" are over for the time being I'm afraid

lizandlulu · 03/07/2008 16:40

oh, and go somewhere where they dont mind kids or have lots of space!!

belgo · 03/07/2008 16:40

I couldn't take my girls out for lunch at this age. Far too stressful. DD1 is now four and just about managable in a restaurant, but only recently.

moopymoo · 03/07/2008 16:40

think this is a girl/boy thing? my ds wouldnt ever ever sit for a meal or even a coffee, would be under the table or trying to pull the fire extinguisher off the wall, whilst my friends little ones sat and drew princesses. Actually, this is still the case hes 3.5 now. Get thee to the park, river or similar then you get your own back as they have to go home after 5 mins coz their child has fallen in the water or seen a bee and your ds is having a ball.

belgo · 03/07/2008 16:41

no absolutely not a boy/girl thing moopymoo!

PertweeAndLemon · 03/07/2008 16:43

Picnics. Picnics are good...

sophiebbb · 03/07/2008 16:43

Oh damn. Have a very active 19mth old DS and I now have a 9 week old daughter and thought that she would sit still!!!!

belgo · 03/07/2008 16:43

The last time we went to a restaurant , dh spent the whole time running with the girls around the square. It was great, I just sat and watched

moopymoo · 03/07/2008 16:43

well i always looked longingly at my friends pretty clean children who seemed to be girls. But actually I was much happier up a tree myself too. And still am! So more a temperament thing maybe not boy girl.

belgo · 03/07/2008 16:44

there are plenty of sedate boys around, but the vast majority of toddlers will not sit still in a restaurant, boy or girl!

TillyScoutsmum · 03/07/2008 16:45

Not a boy/girl thing - dsd would never sit still for more than 5 minutes - she's a bit better now (almost 5) but going out to eat is still a bit of a struggle.

DD is 14 months has always been happy to sit for a couple of hours as long as she's being handed scraps of food/or has something to play with. I'm not too smug yet - I know there's time for it to all go horribly wrong

witchandchips · 03/07/2008 16:45

We've been able to take ds (now three) out to lunch for the last year or so but we have to organise it so he does not have to sit down before the food comes and ensure he gets loads and loads of attention during the meal. No way could he sit still while grown ups chatted around him

Weegle · 03/07/2008 16:46

It's hard when yours is the first in the group to become like this because you can bet they're all thinking "well it's nice for us"... but give it a few months and none of you will be able to do this because they will all have different routines. The only way my DS (now 2) will stay in a highchair is if he is eating, or drawing for 5 minutes. So picnics in the park ideal, or meeting at each other's houses

Original poster

kittypower · 03/07/2008 16:53

Thanks feel a bit better now - it was just such a disaster today. I just came away feeling that I was doing it all wrong as everyone's dc were sitting there happily munching fruit and contentedly swinging their little legs in the highchair while my DS wriggled and squirmed and threw things and whinged his way through lunch, if I tried to hold him on my lap he either tried to pull my hair or wriggle free - if he had been able to crawl around he would be a happy little man. Don't think they understood at all what it was like!!

OP posts:

belgo · 03/07/2008 16:54

kittypower - they'll understand soon enough, unless they are really lucky!

LuLuBai · 03/07/2008 16:55

Yup - def not a boy/girl thing. My 15mo DD is also super active. She is the only girl in my mother's group and by far the most ahem - how to put it politely? "boisterous?". Meeting in a park / playground or indoor soft play area is probably your easiest option. Or do something exhausting before you meet up (e.g. swimming)

Thankyouandgoodnight · 03/07/2008 20:00

Gastro pubs with sofas and low tables work very well at this age .

They can pick at your food from the table and run around the place which will generally be fairly empty. you can also use your buggies and any chairs to make a makeshift enclosure! Take some books and toys and enjoy!

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