PND - What was it like for you?

[VictorianSqualor]

I suffered severe PND with DD and ended up very ill so have been very aware of how I feel after the births of my two sons.
With DS1 I was fine but DS2 is now 12 weeks and I'm feeling quite anxious about him dying, or one of my other DC's (just not as severe with them being so much older).
The last few days I've felt really down but not been able to put my finger on why.
Thing is this is totally different to the way I was with DD so I just wondered if anyone else felt this way?

RF...(hi there...you were a June 07er as well )

I think it's one of those things that's always there, but sometimes doesn't surface until much later on, so yes it's possible. With my DS, he was eight months before it all finally got on top of me. Talk to your doctor about how you are feeling, or your HV if you still see her.

Hi LackaDaisycal, Yes I was on June 07 and I remember you!
Yes, I think I've been down for a while but it is starting to definitely get worse. I am fed up of DH nagging me to do stuff but he says it's because I have no enthusiasm for anything and he is worried. I will try to get to the doctors tomorrow, I don't really want to go on AD's though - I was on them very briefly before and the side effects were horrid. Is there anything else they can do though?

you could maybe ask for some sort of talking therapy? CBT gets good results for some people as well. Or there are lots of different ADs you can try. It might just be that whatever ones you were on didn't agree.

I will ask - thanks Daisy. How are you coping now?

taking it one day at a time helps. Having hissy fits about having another one in November, but I remember a lot of "I can't cope with one, how will I manange two" when I was pregnant with DD. I know now that I will cope, and from what I've read two to three is a much easier transition than one to two

how is your DS doing? you should drop in on the PN thread; there's still a small hardcore of us going strong, and a few more pregnancies as well

Blimey! Congratulations, I didn't realise you were pregnant!

I'll try and drop by - I struggle with how fast moving they are though tbh.

I don't think I could handle three - certainly not at the moment anyway. But, never say never.

Thanks a lot everyone, I feel much better for just getting it out in the open, it's def anxiety issues.
I have told DP how I feel re: the rituals that I feel I need to do to save my DC's dying, am already at docs friday for DD, will speak to GP then.
G2G now, but will answer more fully tomorrow
x

take care of yourself VS

You too, am trying to do RL so will chat tomorrow
x

I had a really bad night last night.
Telling people seems to have made it worse.
I spent half the night awake just looking at him, paranoid he was going to die, I even sent DP down to look up SIDS to see what I could do to stop it happening and set the alarm on my phone to go off hourly in case I fell asleep.

Now I'm scared to go to the doctors. What if I go and he stops me feeling this way and then DS dies because I'm not checking him?

I've posted a thread in mental health here

I know this is wrong and I'm ill. Thankyou all for making me see that.

Oh, VS

go and see the doctor lovely; you know in your heart that this isn't normal behaviour. And don't think for a minute that you'll stop worrying about him or checking on him. you will do, but not with these horrible thoughts at the front of your mind.

off to post on your other thread now

I had a very dark year after I had DD2. It was horrible. I resented having her because she made me very ill after I delivered her and spent a short time in hospital recovering from various medical problems. As a result I hated her for the first 12 months of her life. It was a very lonely dark time for me. I never went to see a GP but now I wish I had because I missed out on bonding with her and so did she with me.

It took a worrying time when she was a year old and quite poorly with a lactose intolerance problem with appts with consultants before I finally discovered how much I loved her and felt very protective. I thought at one point we were going to lose her - the Doctors couldn't understand why she was as ill as she was. It took a Health Visitor to realise the problem she had.

I can remember sitting down and suddenly looking at her fast asleep on my lap thinking how lucky I was to have her. From that point on I never looked back.

Thinking back I'm sure it was PND. I wish I'd gone and got some help. I didn't because I thought I could cope on my own. Yes I did but it took me a very long time to get better.

If the help is there with GPs/Health Visitors etc...please go and get it VS. xxx