Potty training - lots of accidents...Help!

[curlydolly]

Hi
I need some advice on what to do with my dd age 2.5 yrs. I decided last week to go cold turkey and put her straight in pants from a nappy and after 2 or 3 days she got the hang of things and is reasonably ok with going to the loo etc when she needs to at home. Problems start when we go out because as soon as I put her in clothes (shes just been wearing pants or nothing on her bottom half at home!)she seems to forget and we've had quite a lot of accidents. Is that common? Also she never tells me when she needs to go - despite me constantly reminding her - and then has an accident. I do try to get her to go before we go out etc but that does not always work despite her trying.
I know we only started last week but I didn't really have any idea what to expect and my books haven't had much advice beyond how to get them to do the first wee in the potty! What are other people's experiences?
Thanks for any help!

my dd is just over 2.5 and we started potty training her straight after xmas. I have used a reward system so she realises there are consequences to her actions. This has worked really well for us (she just kept weeing herself before xmas and didn't care). We made a big sticker chart up and got lots of smiley faced stickers (different sorts) cut them up individually and put them in a pot. Placed the sticker chart on her eye level on the bottom half of the fridge. Every time she wees or poos in the potty she gets to choose a sticker from the pot and she gets a little "special treat" from another pot (which is usually a few yogurt coated raisins or dried fruit chunks) if she has an accident then she gets a big sad face drawn with a marker pen in the square. No emphasis is put on the accidents except to explain that she should use the potty, Really praise the good behaviour and ignore the accidents. Maybe try and stay at home for a whole week to master things a bit more and if you do go out, try to limit your time out to about an hour, so you can get home and sit her straight on the potty. We have been taking our potty with us too. She feels more familiar with her own one. Always take a change of clothes, and if you are worried about accidents in the car, sit her on a care mat to absorb any accidents. Don't go back to putting nappies or pull ups on her as this will give her mixed messages. Once she has clicked there is a reward system, I'm sure she will get it straight away. Girls are fairly clued up, I just think they can be a bit stubborn at times. Good luck, let me know how you get on!

Personally, I bribed with Smarties.

She got the hang of the basics quite quickly but we had accidents for weeks and weeks afterwards, then they just stopped.

Perserverance got us there in the end...but it was frustating whilst it went on.

Sounds to me as though you are doing quite well. I don't know if that is reassuring or depressing for you though! I am another briber: chocolate buttons for doing something, followed later by chocolate buttons for washing hands, etc. I thought it might become a habit but actually my children quickly got used to using the potty and didn't keep demanding treats after a few days. Also, I tended to put a nappy back on them when I went out. Again I thought it would confuse them, but it didn't seem to and again it wasn't necessary for very long as it seemed to become second nature to hang on and use the loo quite quickly. HTH

Thanks for the quick replies!
I forgot to mention that I have already been bribing her with a choc button reward for doing something in potty or toilet - except that she has now cottoned on to that and asks for 2 the cheeky madam...
samwifewithkid - thanks for all the advice. I already use a sticker chart for teeth cleaning as we have a battle with that as well . It does work well but I think maybe 2 of them may be a bit of overkill and its not enough of an incentive for her anymore...
I think I am probably being too impatient and expecting too much of her early on. Its just that quite a few people around me have done it without any problems and as I said before I don't know whats the norm!

I had the exact same problem with dd (now 2.4) when I tried to train her about a month ago. She can almost always produce a wee on her potty and even the toilet when I put her on it and when she's naked from the waist down she'll go to use the potty by herself. The moment she has any clothes on, even just knickers, she kind of 'forgets' to go and always looks rather shocked that she's had an accident. I decided to postpone until she's 2.5 like your dd, but maybe I'll still have to face the same problem then anyway?!

Perhaps she isn't really ready?

My dd would do this when I made attempts at toilet training, so I would abort mission and go back to nappies and try a few weeks later.

On the most recent occasion when we tried she had one or two accidents a day for 3 or 4 days, but quickly became very reliable (very rare to get an accident now). After 4 days is when she became almost 100% reliable.

I agree she may not be ready - my DS did the same for about 3 weeks before 'finally' getting the hang of it - but he was 3yrs old by that time and we really HAD to potty train then as new baby was imminent and I knew I wouldn't have time until he was approaching his 4th birthday - and starting nursery!

I have one friend who didn't start potty training her DS until he was 3.5yrs old - it took 3 days and he was sorted! Leave it as long as you can before starting and you'll have a much higher chance of QUICK success.

Hi guys
Just a quick update if anyone is still looking and in case there is anyone in the same boat who is wondering whether to give up or not!
DD is now doing really well. Accidents have been getting less and less frequent and today was our first dry day (HURRAY) and she had her first day at pre-school today to cope with. Perseverance has paid off as we only started ten days ago and having spent over 2 years in nappies she is bound to get distracted and forget there's no nappy to 'catch' it! However I would say this has really tested my patience to the max and has been far more stressful than I ever imagined...

I really think children just need time. Nappies off after their second birthday and pack plenty of spare clothes until they've got the hang of it. Disposable nappies have made us all lazy - when mothers had to wash nappies all the time, the average age of potty training was 11 months!! Accidents are annoying, but they don't last forever. Stay calm and ride it out!

Any more accidents I would leave it and restart the training again in a few weeks. Some kids are just not ready. Definitely bribe with chocolate (or whatever you would usually give as a treat)