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My mother is driving me mad

11 replies

Mishee · 01/07/2008 20:29

My mum gave me an envelope last week with three newspaper articles in. One on Ikea's grobags (can't remember last time I went there), one on a boy's ears that are an inch different in height(?) and one on the nanny who is in court because the baby in her care died and had injuries in line with being shaken. I asked why she had given me this and she said she was worried about my daughter (20 months) because she's only just started walking without hold my hand and she's not yet speaking (although she's a 'signer' and I believe they do talk later). BUT that's not all - I asked what that had to do with the article and she said that she thought I might have brain damaged my baby when I used to shake her! Well, this was news to me, never having shaken her in my life. When I asked what she meant by that, it turns out she's talking about when I used to swing her round when we were 'dancing' and doing 'see saw Marjorie Dawe!' I spoke to her later on the phone and told her how cross I was. Shen then called back (I didn't pick up) and left a message to apologise. I don't want to bring it up again because I will just get cross and may say something I regret, but what am I to do to stop her from being so hurtful, and silly, again?

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trebuchet · 01/07/2008 20:35

I suppose the positive way of looking at it is that she loves your dd so much that she thinks about her all the time. Don't know how much you see of your Mum but it might be an idea to give her a bit more responsibility of your ddaughter, maybe a weekly class or playgroup that she alone takes her to.

I feel for you it must be bloody annoying and my response would probably be, "well, bugger you, then!" But in terms of what's best for your whole family, maybe write this off as a one off and if it happens again tell her that when she does things like this it makes you want to stay away from her.

Good luck!

Jux · 01/07/2008 20:44

OMG!! Dancing is equivalent to shaking?!!! WTF????

Laugh at your mum. That's all it's worth.

Milkysallgone · 01/07/2008 20:45

I'm sorry but your mother sounds seriously crazy! I don't blame you for being annoyed, I'd be bloody fuming if anyone let alone my own mother accused me of brain damaging my child.

Obviously I don't know your mother or what your relationship with her is like, but this is very odd and horrible thing to say. I hope you are able to sort it out with her.

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TheArmadillo · 01/07/2008 20:47

I think that is horrendous.

Is she normally like this or this is a first?

TurkeyLurkey · 01/07/2008 20:49

Is this a one off or has she always been bonkers a bit bizarre?

Mishee · 01/07/2008 20:50

Thanks girls, now I know it wasn't me over-reacting. She's one of these people who doesn't have enough going on in her life and so has to find things to worry about (or interfere in). I feel like I'm over it now (although it's really by avoiding confronting her about it) but I really don't want it to happen again. Am thinking of cutting out ridiculous newspaper articles and posting them to her!

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Mishee · 01/07/2008 20:52

The thing is, as silly as this sounds, she really doesn't mean any harm! She's then genuinely upset if she thinks she's caused offence.

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PInkyminkyohnooo · 01/07/2008 20:53

She sounds a bit batty- no offence-but not nasty, IYSWIM. My mum's favourite articles are anything remotely negative she can find about breastfeeding. I would laugh it off, if you can.

TurkeyLurkey · 01/07/2008 20:55

Well if she knows how much it upset you to think you could have hurt your daughter then leave it at that I suppose. Does she live with anyone (your dad?), could you speak to him about how it makes you feel?

ChaCha · 01/07/2008 20:55

Hi Mishee,
The fact that she doesn't have enough going on in her life says it all for me. You can't imagine the things that go round and round a person's head all day and night when they have little else to occupy their thoughts.
She is probably thinking much about your DD, missing her and worrying etc.. the fact that she phoned and apologised is worthy of recognition. She said she's sorry didn't she? Life is too short

Mishee · 01/07/2008 21:00

Thanks for all that. There are so many issues tied up here - her thinking my daughter is brain damaged, her interfering, her being worried over nothing (had it with DD learning to sit, crawl, yes and being breast fed), her suggesting I had harmed DD (that's the bit that makes me so cross - if she thought I was damaging her, why not say it at the time?) and these blasted newspaper articles! ARGH!

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