Low sleep needs at 18 months

[dcmum25]

Hey!

Please talk to me about your low sleep needs toddlers.

Our current 24 hour sleep need is 1hr nap with 10hr night but I think I might need to cut the nap more because we've had consistent split nights for the last 6 weeks where she's up for an hour or two chatting, laughing, trying to play etc. She currently has around 7 hours awake before bed.

If we leave her in her crib she screams and screams (because I guess she isn't tired and she's annoyed being in her crib) but we are exhausted.

She falls asleep independently for naps and start of bedtime.

I have a really stressful job and it's hard having very little evening 🥲 all my other mum friends have babies that sleep 12 hours at night plus nap and I'm struggling with the acceptance. At the moment, we're barely getting 10 across night and day.

No advice but solidarity.

Our (very almost) two year old has been the exact same her whole life. 10 hour nights and a 1 and a half hour nap. She also wakes up at 5am no matter what time we put her to bed or what we change about her routine.

I dream of the day I can sleep in until at least 6!

Split nights are hell. I’m assuming there are no signs of autism?

What time are you putting her to bed? And do you let her sleep in if she has a big long awake patch in the night, or are you waking her up consistently at a set time?

We're consistent with the wake time and try not to let her catch up on sleep the next day! Bedtime at the moment is between 8 and 8.30pm (always make sure we have 7 hours between her nap)

She'll have a few nights where she'll sleep through, sometimes 2 or 3 in a row and we'll think we've cracked it.

Before this phase, she was sleeping through consistently from about 12 months, but has always been on the low end of sleep needs. Was 12 hours around 10 months.

@Goodwitchglenda she has a decent chunk of words, points, waves, communicates her needs, excellent gross and fine motor skills etc so no autism concerns.

Hello! I’m sorry to not bring an answer other than time but unfortunately my 9yo DD was low sleep needs as a baby and is still low sleep needs now. She sleeps 10.30pm to 6am on a good day and loads of energy while awake. Shes also autistic but that may not be relevant.

My only advice is don’t force it. You will make yourself much more stressed by counting sleep hours etc. The only way to get through it is roll with it. We did find that when DD dropped any nap at all (early, age 2.5) and moved to one long night that as a great time as she was asleep by 6.30pm and slept til 5am. Drop naps early - as as she can manage and it’s s possible - to get your evening back.

I didn’t know this was a sign of autism. It makes a lot of sense in the context of my children.

That's so rough. Is there any sign of her wanting to drop the nap? Mine started intermittently skipping it at about 16 months and at 18 months it was pretty 50/50 as to whether she'd nap. I much preferred no nap days, as an 11ish hour night starting at 8:30 or so is much more preferable than an 8-10 hour night starting at 10:30pm imo!

Is she comfortable in her crib? We moved ours into a bigger bed around 15/16 months because she was massive and her legs were dangling through the bars at the end (and her arms through the sides) and then she'd wake up when she tried to roll over and got trapped. She's got a lot of room in her big bed now and can go and get a book or a drink if she needs to when she wakes up - might help reduce the screaming for you, too?

I also have several friends with same age toddlers who's kids are still napping for 2 hours in the middle of the day and then going to bed at 7:30. It's the luck of the draw!

@SparkleHorse82 The odd thing is, is she does love sleep.

Every single time we're in the car she falls asleep and could quite easily stay asleep for hours if we didn't wake her up! Once she's down, we always have to wake her up in the morning etc.

We're obviously very conscious about timing car rides and keeping her awake near bedtime but it's like her body does want it and she's tired.

I'm hoping it is just a phase. The split nights haven't been the whole 6 weeks to be fair and I think she's caught a cold off me.

Thanks for all the support!

@Nonplus

I don't think so yet! She goes down super easily for her nap and we often have to wake her up at the 1hr mark. No tears or crying for nap!

She does wriggle a lot in her crib and often bumps her head so we have thought about changing to something bigger so maybe we'll look into that again!

Thanks for the solidarity!

Definitely put crib bumpers, mine thrashed around a lot at that age and hit his head and we put bumpers in just before he turned 2.

And I personally would try not cutting the nap. She might be overtired. My DS has a 2-2.5 hour nap daily at nursery and sleeps 9.5 hours at night. Yes, he goes to bed at 9.30pm so we don't get an evening to ourselves but it means he gets more rest overall.

We tried cutting the nap short and it made little difference to the length of nighttime sleep. Accepting a late bedtime has worked for us.

It also means we get to spend more time with him after a full day of work.

@AutumnHello453324

Will try the bumpers, thank you!

Interesting, I've always read that night time is the most restorative sleep so to try and protect a longer night but our routine clearly isn't working so maybe we'll try that!

My kids all dropped the day naps by 18 months, I was horrified and so jealous of friends who were putting their babies down for hours! All autistic as pp said, not sure if any link or relevance, but my kids all go to bed really well and have slept through the night from tiny with no sleep training. Just not much actual hours of sleep.

I think we ultimately have to parent the children we have, not the one we wish we had. I have friends whose babies slept 12 hours a night since 3 months old and still do now at age 2, plus a nap. That will never be my life either, sadly 😅

I wouldn’t say it’s a “sign” because I think lots of non-autistic kids do split nights but it’s definitely part of the profile. A lot of autistic kids simply don’t make enough melatonin to maintain sleep pressure through the night - or once awake they are awake for HOURS

Just to say, bumpers are against lullaby trust advice and can be a suffocation hazard, so I wouldn’t use them. I think that person might be using outdated advice.

This is my life 🥱.

For an 18 month old? They can have blankets and pillows at that age so I think a bumper would be fine too

My dds both had low sleep needs but they still napped, right up until school age. I wouldn't cut the nap or try to prevent it if they're clearly tired, kids who nap need that time to take a break in the day and process their experiences.

For us it just meant a later bedtime and we've got used to that as our normal. They've never been asleep before 9pm but they don't get up before 7am, so it gives us a normal night of sleep. Overall we've preferred it as it's meant we've not been restricted by early bedtimes, we can do meals out and day trips without rushing back for bath and bedtime, and we have quality time after nursery pickup rather than just quickly putting them to bed as soon as we get home.

They don’t recommend it. Obviously it’s up to each individual parent but that is the advice

Melatonin is making quite a big difference to us. Might be worth a try if you’ve exhausted all the behavioural stuff!

Mine stopped napping at 17 months. Bedtime got better. Before that, he was up for ages at night as he just wasn't tired.

Remember you have to give each sleep change two weeks before you evaluate it, to let their brains catch up.

It is helping but we still have the occasional 3.30 wake ups.

Sorry but same, never more than 10 hours at night for months and he's now 21 months old. He's a mad man during the day so can't understand how he doesn't need more. Nap currently 1hr 20 ish

My eldest is 2.5 and has always been low sleep needs, she dropped her nap completely at about 18 months and that did help our nights massively.

Our lives improved immeasurably when we went with the flow and put him to bed at 10/10.30pm. He then slept reliably until 6am. That was better for pur overall wellbeing. DD needed slightly more sleep and would go down at 9pm. Neither had a daytime sleep from about 18/20 months.

Both high energy children intellectually and physically. There was a clue. DH and I were the same evidently.

School didn't tire them either but it meant they both had lots of stamina later on for revision.

It sucked but the upside was that they both did incredibly well and as adults have enormous capacity for hard work.