Who has chosen NOT to medicate their ADHD child?

[Peekaboooooo]

I really want to hear experiences from parents who have chosen NOT to go down the medication route for their child. Forums are filled with stories of medication being amazing for ADHD and don't get me wrong, I know it's been hugely helpful for many children and adults but it would be good to get other experiences.

I'm a primary school teacher and I've taught an increasing number of children medicated for ADHD in recent years. I can clearly see the benefits in the classroom but I also see the side effects - low mood and depression, loss of appetite and weight loss, difficulty sleeping resulting in children coming in late or falling off to sleep in school.

My son is 8 and was diagnosed with ADHD at 6.5. He is textbook ADHD. However, for now, I feel like we are managing his symptoms and behaviour at home and school. It can be hard work but we just don't feel that medication is right yet. We've worked hard on his sleep routine and for a child with ADHD I think we've got it pretty good so don't want to rock the boat there. My son is naturally quite a lanky, thin child and a loss of appetite and weight would be very concerning for his health I feel. He really can't afford to lose weight.

In the future, if things get harder, we wouldn't rule out medication but for now we feel that the negatives would outweigh the positives.

There definitely seems to be a pressure and bias out there now to medicate so please share any non medicated stories. As a balance is always good. Thank you.

That’s what you feel. Ask his teacher and the other children in his class if they agree. If yes, crack on but don’t let him ruin the school experience for everyone else.

Our DS is not medicated. He is also autistic. We did try medication due to concerns with concentration in school and to be honest we were so concerned about his low mood and depression that we ended up stopping it, and he has said himself he doesn’t want to go back on it because of how it made him feel. Trying to get him to eat enough was so difficult it felt like we’d just swapped one battle for another, and that he had totally lost his spark that made him such a wonderful personality.

Yes he does have difficulty concentrating in school still - he’s in secondary, and they have had to put a number of things in place for him. He does sometimes get negatives or break time detentions for being disruptive (hard to tell if that’s ADHD or difficult teenage behaviour), but on the whole he is bright and chirpy and in a good place.

all I can say from our experience is that you really don’t know how they’ll be on medication until you try it, and for some it is amazing. But not everyone has that experience with it, and for him it was pretty damaging. Just keep an open mind, and remember you know your child better than anyone.

I don't have a child that has never taken meds for adhd but I did treat my 2 differently depending on needs.

DS1 was diagnosed aged 9 and started meds 6 months later. He used to get very regular migraines from stress and 3 months after starting the meds the migraines disappeared.

He has always maintained a healthy weight and growth spurts and is monitored regularly by the Dr (sees a Dr monthly for the prescription). His sleep has always been disastrous so Dr prescribes melatonin and another medication which has made a huge difference.

DS2 was diagnosed age 7 BUT didn't start medication until he was 10 because he didn't need it. He started needing it as school work got harder. Before then he had always coasted along getting good marks with no effort.

My friend's DS was diagnosed age 9 but didn't start meds until he was 14 (his dad was very against it) and my friend couldn't believe the difference in her DS (positive differences).

A colleague has 2 DDs diagnosed with ADHD and they've done all their schooling without medication. One has just started university and one is sitting her A levels next year.

What I like about this medicine is that it doesn't need titrating up or down. They can miss a day or a week no problem. So on weekends or holidays if they don't have a lot of schoolwork, they dont take them. They have 2 months off in the summer for example.

Also the medication does wear off in the day. My boys eat large breakfasts then take their medicine. Small lunch then by 5pm they are starving and eat large (healthy) dinners and desserts.

I’m an adult with ADHD and on the medication. I did try a period without it and I felt terrible without it.

What you say does sound logical and well-considered but I would say that you appear to be assuming that the side affects will happen. The meds have not affected my sleep in any way. For appetite - they stop impulse eating chocolate but I still eat well but I am not skinny and in fact I went to lose a little weight.

These meds have been around for decades and are very effective. I don’t think you have anything much to lose by trying them and potentially a lot to gain from then. Friend’s DD got diagnosed at age 15 and her grades went up almost overnight from GCSE 3s and 4s to 6s and 7s.

My DS15 was diagnosed last year and has chosen not to take medication as he’s wary of the side effects (he’s already underweight) and feels that he’s coping ok - which he is. He does need scaffolding and help to revise (30 mins then a movement and decompress time) but he’s managing ok. He’s on track to do well in his GCSE’s and is happy.

He knows medication is option whenever he wants and that me and his dad will happily pay for private prescriptions if he can’t get seen on the NHS in good time.

He’s also autistic so not sure if that makes a difference.

I forgot to say - my mood and anxiety are vastly better on ADHD meds. It could be that the kids you know who have problems in that area would actually have much worse problems without them.

In our case the ADHD service have advised against meds at this point (early teens) to be reviewed again when we get to GCSEs and workload increases at school. Many reasons - mainly DD is already a light eater and struggles to finish a full meal - but also due to family history of depression/anxiety/eating disorder. As a result they are being very cautious but keeping under review. I think there was some query over her ECG also. Anyway, our experience has been that it has been carefully considered by the MDT (multi disciplinary team) and they’ve advised caution at this point due to DD’s personal circumstances. We were neither particularly pro or anti meds but I’m happy to go with their advice.

If you get the right medication it’s a game changer for ADHD. I suffered for a long time without it and wish I had taken it earlier. Yes, you can have side effects and most happen when you start taking them but once you have found the right one and correct dose it really is life changing.

I refuse to drug my children to make them fit society's expectations. If schools were designed around children's actual development and need to move then there may be less "need" for medication anyway. Plus mine are also autistic, so no medication would changethat.

That said, I am fully supportive of medication if they ever want it in future, or feel it would help them. I wouldn't be at all surprised if it would help for gcse's etc. I am not anti medication, it just needs to be for the right reasons, not drugging children into compliance.

So you’re happy for your kids to ruin the school day for their classmates and teachers with their unregulated behavior?

@Floppyearedlab so maybe schools should refuse to accept children if they're not medicated for ADHD? Is that the way it should go?

Why would they ruin the school day for others? Genuinely curious as the school have never made me aware of DS being disruptive.

As I said, mine are both medicated. However they have never been disruptive in school. On the contrary, they used to squeeze it all down tight inside themselves and explode when we left school.

We didn't even inform their primary schools that they have adhd and the school never shared any concerns with us (glowing behviour reports every term).

I am, however, a huge fan of the meds, as are my kids.

Not at all. They should refuse to accept them if they are disruptive to the point they are stopping others from learning, regardless of the reason, if they refuse to engage with measures that can help them. One teacher, up to 30 kids. Why is yours more worthy of attention?

Nope, my kids aren't out there throwing chairs. The school one goes to has built in movement breaks, fidget toys, wobble cushions/stools etc. Nothing that costs lots of money, but is really effective.

My DS isn't. By the time he recieved diagnosis he had learned techniques to manage and school had learned to support him. But I know everything is a phase and will reconsider whenever necessary.

I have no issue with not medicating, if that's appropriate. currently, DS is not medicated, for example. BUT, I do think that not medicating because of other experiences is a mistake. Your decisions should be based on your child's needs and any medication should be tried - if there is a reason it might help - and then you make decisions based on any side effects or experience your child has as a result of the medication.

Something else that I have only recently realised is how badly medication is handled in many cases. I honestly had no idea of this aspect. But watching SIL attempt to medicate DN has made me suddenly more aware of where so many of the stories I read online about medication being bad come from. So, in her case, for example, she is convinced she's giving him x when, based on the drugs she's giving and wht she's been told to do, she is not. I find it mindblowing.

But it means that a lot of people are probably not managing side effects because they aren't actually taking the meds correctly.

OP you’ve made a decision and now you’re looking for experiences to affirm the decision.

FWIW all 3 of my kids have ADHD but only one takes the meds because they don’t like the side effects of stimulants and their paed won’t try them on straterra and theyre just about coping. They’re self medicating with caffeine though.

I’ve recently been on a panel to exclude a child who very sadly had unmediated ADHD. He simply could not manage the school system as a teen, was impulsive, and could not manage the structure, by GCSEs despite SO MUCH intervention the behaviour was unmanageable.

As a parent of a teen who is medicated it broke my heart because I knew how much it would most likely help him. My son didn’t need it in primary, but it’s vital in secondary for him.

I’ve heard this argument before and I think you’re selling your children short.

It would be great to be able to say to every ND person “be more you. Be as different as you like.” And indeed there may be environments where that’s entirely possible and appropriate.

Meanwhile back in the real world ND people will have a much harder time with life and be rejected way more if they’re not even given the option to mask and fit in sometimes.

I regularly say “Mask. Do it. Pretend to be normal just for a bit.” Their lives are tricky enough without having to deal with being instantly pegged as weird, just because of some misplaced high moral ground from a well meaning parent.

If mine DIDNT mask, they’d be mostly naked, droning on about their Special Interest. I love every cell but that way, madness lies.

My son was diagnosed at the same age. Started medication and then it became hell trying to find anywhere with the medication, we ran out but his teacher said he was fine so we took him off. The next year he had a much better teacher who let us know he was not okay and really struggling. So we put him back on it. Hes 13 now and if he comes home saying he got in trouble for not paying attention or talking, I can almost gaurentee the answer to 'did you forget your medication today' is yes.

DD3 had debilitating ASD, OCD and ADHD, and she couldn't cope with school at all. Sertraline helped the OCD, but school was still a barrier, despite it being a special school. ADHD medication helped her return to school and she has 100% attendance.

DD2 couldn't cope despite a reduced timetable, 1:1 support and low demand activity. She was diagnosed with ADHD at 18, medicated, and was able to attend the school site and interact with people.

I think you’re taking the right approach op.

I have 2 medicated DC and it’s right for them. One experiences some side effects, the other none at all but if they’re coping ok and school can make any necessary adjustments then I think you’re right to hold off.

Meds might be more necessary as academic demands increase or if they start showing signs of anxiety/overwhelm so I’d keep an open mind about it for the future. I said no to meds for too long for one of my DC and regret it as he found school much easier to cope with after starting them.

My nephew isn’t medicated as there are heart issues in the family.

It's absolutely fine not to medicate, OP, if that is what you think is best. But you also need to think about everything else- is the school set up to help him manage, what structures can you develop at home etc etc?

There are different kinds of ADHD and different people are affected to different extents. The assumption that medication is always the right route is doesn't take account of this- it's more about making a square peg child fit into a round hole school. Get the right school and the right support and some children with ADHD will be able to thrive unmedicated.