8 year old DD diet

[WineLovingGardener]

I am worried about my nearly 8 year olds diet and how to help her. She was always a great eater, absolytely loved food, but its been going downhill for a year or two.

She simply isnt eating enough. She has a serious sugar craving, and asks for sweets multiple times a day. I believe she would eat sweets til she vomits and then would ask for more 30 minutes later if she was allowed (she never has been). She is allowed 3 sweets a week (maybe a pack of haribo) and she has completely control over when she chooses to have those sweets. BUT, outside of the sweets, she eats very little. She likes a lot of foods, and her diet includes fruits like apples, bananas, berries, veg like carrot sticks, cucumber, peas, broccoli, and i can give her dinners such as chilli, curries, lasagne, pies and she says she likes them all. Everything is home made and I am a very good cook. She seems to have no anxiety around foods, so I dont believe this is ARFID. We include her in cooking a lot too. But she eats less than a toddler would in portion size. Its becoming a battle of "please eat some more dinner" every day and we focus on fuelling her body, and how our body needs food to stay healthy. I am VERY conscious of not ever aligning food with weight or good or bad food. She simply says "i dont want any more. I am not hungry". She doesnt understand about eating to avoid being hungry in 1 hrs time and then begging for sweets.

But honestly, she is too thin, her moods are going downhill, and she is leaving 60% of her lunches in school, she eats less dinner than she did when she was 2 years old, and she is a very active kid with lots of sport hobbies, and she isnt consuming enough calories to keep up.

I dont know what to try to help her up her calorie intake and portion size. I really want to avoid making this a big deal for her and causing anxiety.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Sweets 3 times a week is far too much. My kids aren’t allowed ‘sweets’, they have biscuits/chocolate/cake as a treat but sweets are just stuffed with artificial rubbish. What’s her BMI? Is she underweight?

Is she able to say why she wants sweets? Is it taste, texture? Does she want the sugar so she gets a sugar high or dopamine high? Is it psychological in that she sees them as a reward?

Children (and adults!) don’t need sweets. There are natural sugars in other things like berries etc and carbs also break down into glucose. If we don’t eat a balanced plate and eat too many carbs or sugar, we will get sugar spike, followed by a crash and the body will want sugar/carbs/a quick fix to try and regulate itself. It involves the release of lots of insulin and then adrenaline (to deal with the crash) to deal with this see saw effect.

Personally I’d bin off the sweets and try natural things like berries within a balanced meal. It will take a number of weeks to see if the body can calm from the see-saw action.

I would always recommend a chat with the GP too.

I’d be inclined to agree with this. I don’t really restrict homemade puddings, biscuits etc. but sweets they only really have if it’s they come in a party bag or it’s halloween or something very specific.

Have you had her tested for diabetes since it runs in the family?
Craving sweets to combat the low blood sugar levels it causes and losing weight without trying are both symptoms. (You can be thin with diabetes)

If she is really too thin, losing weight, lacking energy I wouldn’t hang around , straight to doctors

I havent been weighing her regularly but she isnt losing a noticeable amount of weight and she is growing. I have more noticed she grows up but not out. She is looking thin but not unhealthily thin. I cant see her ribs for example. But i can see if we keep going the way she is going she will lose weight simply due to more calories out than in. She is a very small child for her age, always has been from baby age.

Sweets wise, I didnt want to make sweets something that was banned and off limits and then she gets to 15 or 16 and has it available to her and thats all she eats. I wanted to instill habits where sweets here present but managed.

I think she wants the sweets because she likes the taste. She has a serious sweet tooth. It could be brownies or haribo or chocolate. She just likes sweet foods.

I am considering taking her for a tests for diabetes but other than being a bit thin she doesnt have any other signs such as excessive weeing or tiredness. She isnt tired at all. In fact, she struggles to get to sleep and says she isnt tired. She has a lot of energy.

I literally this is just a case of a kid who doesn't want to eat her dinner because she eats just enough to stave off any hunger and doesnt yet understand that she needs to eat more to not feel hungry in 1 hr time. She isnt a foodie. She likes cake.

I am going to start making more homemade after dinner puddings like some suggested, like fruit and yogurt, and rice pudding, and that chocolate mousse. I made banana oat muffins yesterday and she loved them. Hopefully her calories will go up along with her capacity to eat slightly bigger portion sizes.

Thank you to all who suggested things.

So shes growing, not losing weight, eating til satiety, healthy and happy?

I'd very respectfully suggest the problem is in your perception. She's eating how much SHE wants, not how much YOU want. Thats the way it should be.

It's troubling to me that you are regularly weighing an 8 year old. You've decided she will lose weight? Why? I really think you are in danger of making food an issue for her.

seeing an 8 year olds ribs is fine - sounds like she is not that thin at all

children don’t always need a lot of calories-that was one of the most surprising things. I too used to worry that she ate 2 mouthfuls and stopped

they do go in stages . Restrict sweets and cakes , no added sugar on cereal and wholewheat cereals.

don’t allow your irrational fear to cause you to give her a harmful diet

It doesn't sound ljke shes too thin and she still has plenty of energy so I wouldnt be too concerned. I think offering nutrients dense "sweet" things ljke muffins etc is a good idea though.

Shes very young and you dont refer to any other issues so take this with a pinch of salt- but this high energy, dopamine seeking, sleep struggle combo can be a sign of adhd. Frankly, if she is functioning well overall and healthy it doesn't matter but it might be something to keep an eye on as she gets older. Girls especially can be missed and then struggle at high school.

If you can't see her ribs it sounds like she's not underweight. Some kids do have a very small appetite. Are you sure there's a genuine problem or could you be overthinking a bit?

You didn't give us her height and weight.
Just go to GP.
Tell your daughter it's a general preventative check-up.
Leave a message to the doctor when booking what is your concern and that you don't want to say in front of her that it's a problem when it might not be.
GP will ask her to step on a scale, ask about eating and you'll go from there.
Bananas ARE sweets.
This is what GP's are for. They want people come with problems like this. They hate saying 'You should have come earlier'.
If you can take a photo, preferably secretly, of her plate, lunchbox before and after eating. Do it consistently with every meal and snack if possible untill GP appointment. Keep a diary any digestion related issues (stomach ache, vomit). It doesn't take long, seconds each time. GP can make better assessment with proper data.
Hopefully it will be nothing much.