Childcare dilemma: French mums please advise!

[choucroutegarnie]

Our (semi-bilingual) son (3 1/2) is entering nursery class in September.

We have two options: a really nice (but expensive) private one, which would mean long, 9am-6pm days or our local (not very good, but free) school, which would mean we can afford after-school care and therefore have him looked after at home after 3.30pm.

My English friends say I am cruel to consider sending such a small child to 'school' all day. My French/Belgian friends say I've gone all soft and I should send him to the best possible school - and anyway, 'everyone' on the Continent goes to 'garderie' after school.

I'm torn. Any thoughts?

Hi,

It's a tricky one. Everyone will tell you different things but maybe this comment will help. DD is just finishing at local maternelle (not private but very good) and has been going to breakfast club and "gouter" since she started - 8.30 - 18.30 Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri plus Wed am 8.30 - 13.30. There have been moments when I have felt awful about it and it is without a doubt sometimes very tiring for her but if you are happy with the school I think that that is perhaps more important. The garderie at her school has been an adventure which I don't regret her experiencing and the team running it are kind and inspiring - the kids have a great relationship with them. If the local school option is not good i.e. the schooling your DS will be getting is not up to much surely that will do more harm than a few extra hours of activities which are often extremely "enrichissantes". My view at least - but then I have gone a bit native and my UK friends think that I'm barbaric! Good luck!

The Brits are a bit squeamish about nursery. Here in Italy it's the norm to leave your children in a nursery Mon-Fri 8-6pm. Nobody worries about their dcs being "damaged", in fact most Italian mothers are very pro institutionalised childcare. Also, I think nurseries on the continent are smaller and better regulated than the ones in the UK. The food is certainly better, anyway!

My DD has been in ft private nursery 8.30-6 since she was 15mo and has been absolutely fine, she actually complains if I keep her at home during the week. I think she has benefitted greatly, she enjoys herself loads and is much more socially aware and independent than her sah peers. I felt a bit bad leaving her so long in the early days but she seemed to take it in her stride.

DD goes to state maternelle every day between about 8 and 5.30 and absolutely loves it. In Belgium it is certainly the norm to send kids to the maternelle at 2.5 - and is seen as preparation for school rather than a nursery - learning through play but with a trained teacher. (Though the very idea of coping everyday with 20 3 year olds by myself would drive me to drink!) Lessons have sparked interest in loads of topics which we've followed up at home - flags of the world, the weather / seasons, dinosaurs etc and they have related museum trips and "animations" .

"Proper" school is til 3.30 and then they have a garderie til 6 where the kids play outside / do puzzles / have a snack. DD knew some french when she started but is now completely bilingual. I think they are quite strict as the children all seem to be impeccably behaved. They all sit nicely to eat (never seems to work so smoothly at home ). DD has lots of friends and always seems mildly disappointed when it's the weekend and she has to stay home with "boring" m + d....We certainly don't consider ourselves harsh for sending her and my colleagues would think I was mad for even considering it so...

Sorry for picking up the thread so late in the day/week. Thank you for all your comments, really helpful.

I must have gone native (in the UK that is) because I finally opted for the local school plus nanny share after school, after paying another visit to the school and thinking it would be fine. We'll give that a go for a year, and if we think that 'academically' (well, you know what I mean!) it is not that great, we'll move our son to a FT nursery/school setting. He'll be properly battle-scarred by then!

On another note it's rather lovely to hear good stories about Belgian school. I'm no great patriot but it's nice to have one's silly little country recognised for something worthwhile. :-)