I feel an awful mother

[Broodymomma]

Sorry for being a moan i just have to get this out!

My son is 15 months old and a long awaited pfb after several cycles of ivf. I absolutely adore him but am finding it so hard to like him at the moment. He was a difficult baby who screamed constantly (so much so my hv said she had never seen a child like it) - we rode it out though and since about 9 months old he has hit, bit, kicked, pulled hair. He is completely unaffectionate and appears not to care less if im around or not. DH will come in from work and ds does not even look at him. He hits anyone he comes into contact with and the bigger he gets the more powerful he becomes.

I have tried everything to make this stop. Everything. Am completely at the end of my tether. I know i cant turn him into a loving child if thats just not who he is but how do i stop the hittting. This is month 6 and i cant take it any more. Someone told me last week he should come with a govornment health warning. I feel likei have failed him and i dont know what to do.

Please help if you can x

Oh I cannot count. 15 - 6. 9, right!!!!

Broodymomma - you sound like a fantastic mother. Sounds like you are doing everything right.

Being a mum is all I've ever wanted too. My family were quite cuddly with all of us when we were little so I was v disheartened when my LO seemed to shun cuddles. It was just an age thing though and he regularly runs up to me and gives me a kiss now(he is 3 next week.)

I still find it hard that I spy on him when I pick him up from nursery and I can see him laughing and then I bring him home and he is tired and grouchy.

Being a mum is soooooooo hard.

See what your doctor says. It certainly can't do any harm to go. Good luck.

Sorry - one more thing. Just reread one of your posts - the bit about when he hurts himself.

Whenever my LO hurt himself, he used to sob and ask for teddy and then lie down and cuddle teddy and want no comfort from me or DH.

I found that quite hard but again it seemed to be a stage as recently, he asks for teddy and mummy or daddy! Still second best to ted but at least we are up there now!