Talk to me about age gaps, please

[hunkermunker]

Two DSs, one 4.2, the other 2.4 (ooh, palindromic ages, wonder if that'll happen again ).

Would like another one one day, but not sure about the going back to nappies/sleepless nights thing, plus would the little one feel left out when the big kids go off to do something they can't? Do you ideally need to have another one so the little one has someone nearer their own age?

My youngest sister really suffered from being left out by my other sister and I (one year apart in age). I feel bad about it now but can't change it.
But then she was a particularly sensitive child. Another child would cope fine.

My DD is 8 and DS is 4 months. So far, everything has worked out very well. DD old enough to get involved and sibling rivalry is (currently) nonexistent.

We'll see how things are in the next few years with regards to ease of joint/separate activities.

As for doing the baby thing after such a gap, it's fabulous. I'd forgotton how wonderful babies are but have still remembered how to look after them. Maybe it helps that DS is such an easy baby but whatever the reason I love being in a family of 4.

The baby stage doesnt last long so dont worry about going back to nappies and sleepless nights.

Its true its a bit harder when they are a lot older in terms of activities , clubs, holidays etc.

I've found we dont eat out so often now, bit too much hassle with a toddler ..But a small price to pay !

pleeeeeeeeeeeease have another one hunker!!

i have almost 6 years between mine, and it was nice to have the time to enjoy the baby during the day when DS at school, then quality time with DS when she napped and went to bed etc..

made the logistics of some things difficult.. i.e on a wet saturday afternoon, where can you take a 1 year old and a 7 year old that they both will enjoy? especially as my DH works every weekend

pros and cons to each . but i found a big age gap worked really well for us

hi, my children are 12yrs, 14yrs and i'm 23 weeks pregnant. its been lovely so far as the boys can share the scans, baby moving, buying things and they are so excited - they really want a 'if you think i'm cute you should see my brother' t-shirt for baby when it arrives, think i'll have to get one printed!
But they're a fab support - and hubby too

mine are 7 and a half years apart. i love having gone back to baby stage. they both play nice;y together ds was old enough to understand sometimes dd would need seeing to so he had to wait a little. ds is now 9 and dd is 2 and we have most days out are good, things to beach etc ds is great and loves playing with his sis. the only difficult bit is going to adventure parks eg chessington. that is harder ( i'm a single mum so no-one to wait with one child while the other does rides). so when dd was with her dad the other week so i took ds then and we went on all the fast rides . thats the only time i have noticed the age gap as being more difficult, and its not a major prob as we only do things like that once or twice a year

I hadn't considered a mahoosive gap at all, but that's sounding very appealing in many ways.

I guess there are pros and cons to all gaps - I know having had a pretty little gap (21m), which was like having two babies, if I do have another one, I'd like to try a bigger gap and see what it's like.

The DSs are already fab at baby-entertaining, but logistically, a baby would be very hard right now, so it'll be a while yet! Thanks for the "big gaps are fab" posts [mind at rest]

hey hunker I'll tell you very soon

I will have 18 months between DD1 and 2 and 2 1/2 years between DD2 and 3, so 4 years between all 3. I am wondering if DD3 will feel left out if the big girls are doing things as they are so close.

I'm 38+2 weeks today and am getting desperate, even thinking about buying some Clary Sage oil

we have three years between the boys, then two yrs 3mo between ds2 and dd. (now 7,4 and 2) the younger two get on really really well, but i think it is totally a personality thing not an age thing. I think ds1 wouldn't have been massively close to ds2 regardless of age, it is his personality. they play together and stick up for each other in a brotherly fashion but it is so different with ds2 and dd they are inseperable and they always chatter together, play together and miss each other horribly when ds2 is at school. Funnily enough, ds1 is the really good Big Brother to DD because he's 5 yrs older than her. oooh, is it actually a gender thing??
I am the youngest of three and my bro is 15yrs older than me and my sis 12 yrs older. I felt like an only child [as I grew up in a house of adults, really] but never alone iyswim.

I have 2.7 years between dd1 & dd2, then 2.6 years between dd2 & dd3 and there will be 13 months between dd3 & dd4
The 2-3 year gap always worked well for us, as i only had one at a time in nappies, and the eldest was at playschool for a few hours a week enabling me to have one to one time with each new baby. This time will be completely different but as we are still in sleepless nights and nappy changes routines im hoping she will slot right in!

16 months.
I find that for 8 months of every year I get more sympathy. Ie now they are 2 and 3 instead of 1 and 3, people tend to say 'oh I bet they are a handful' much more often!

Its been really hard work, but since ds2 turned 2 last month I have definitely noticed a difference as they can play together more and have these 'grumpy old men' type conversations which have us in stitches!

All the nappies, teething , weaning etc etc is over with now. Whereas sil had her first baby just before my first, and has just had her 2nd. I am not sure I'd want to launch myself back into nappies and sleepless nights again now that I've got them out of the way.