How to know when family complete?

[geisha]

How do you know when your family is complete? We already have 2 children (2.5 & 4) and I have no clue whether family is complete or not! Dh is flexible - doesn't mind, whatever I decide is fine. I have continued working but have not persued my career since the childen, instead opting for a job that offers a good work/life balance. If we were going to try for a third child, I don't want to start persuing my career again then decide to expand the family or get both children off to school then start again. In other words it is now or never.

I'm mindful of the cost implications of a third child with hols/cars/bigger house etc but this is not insurmountable. Also very conscious of the time implication for time spent with older 2 children and whether I could offer all 3 children a good life in the non-material sense of the word. People I have spoken to about this tells me I should just know - but I don't. All opinions welcome.

MM - i know that one day I would like to ressume persuing my career but know that I cannot juggle both young children and career at the same time (not criticising those that can mind, just know I couldn't). Also, wouldn't want to get my yougest off to school, then start again so if we were going to try for a third it should be next year. The question is whether to. My main concerns are the impact on my 2dd's and whether I can manage to be a reasonable sort of mummy to 3.

I completely understand what you are saying ABO, I wish I just 'knew' like I'm supposed to!

Jodie - that's hard. Did you and your dh decide that you wouldn't want anymore children or did he decide on his on?

When hands are outnumbered.

When I look at my boys and know that we are incredibly lucky.

When there are no rooms left in the house.

When they are 16 the food bill will be the same as 4 adult males plus me.

When the thought of having a girl next and the impact it would have on family dynamics chills me.

When I just really want to experience total silence.

NB I have just gone back to teaching after 7 years and its going great and its the only thing that pays properly as am overqualified or inexperienced for everything else!

I think that even if you know it's over, you can still feel a bit wobbly about it. I would like to have another but it won't happen. So I guess that means I've completed my family but I have to admit that there does seem to be a bit of a gap. Only sometimes though. Blimey, that was very unhelpful wasn't it?

I am loving the mirena effect so nothing will tempt me for some time!

Sounds like you have it sorted octo. Understand what you mean about famil dynamics as I have 2 girls.

Maybe I'm wobbly nfk. About 60% for and 40% against....... I think......

or am I 40% for and 60% against......?

LOL geisha

Maybe you should tell yourself that the time has come to go back to work and forget about another child.... and then see how that would make you feel

If you feel a little sad at the thought, then it's time for another. Having said that, I bet when you have packed your youngest off to school and you have adult company, child free lunches, and stimulating conversations, you won't look back.

I know, I'm rubbish. Today this minute I feel like we are happy as we are. Then tomorrow in a minute I will think how sad it will be never to hold another baby of my own!

i'm pregnant with our third and we definitely already feel we're complete.

dh will be going for the snip as soon as possible after ds1 is born.

we both feel very strongly: no more babies or kids.

expat, do you mind me asking - was this planned then?

yes. i fell pregnant by accident in october, but had a miscarriage.

after the ERPC, we decided to go for it after i had one cycle, and am now in the 24th week with this pregnancy.

but this is definitely it for us.

we are looking forward to the childbearing part of our lives being over and moving forward as a family.

Hope everything goes well for you expat