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Parenting

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Car insurance for 19 year old..who pays

70 replies

BeCoolStork · 19/08/2026 23:06

does every parent pay a 19 year olds car insurance? Bought dss a car, when we gave it to him, immaculate condition btw, said the review mirror needs a clean. We said you will need to help pay towards insurance ( not whole amount) which he wasn’t so keen on doing. He has a part time job, plus around 3k in savings. Starting uni in sept. Has a student loan. We still have dds 2 at home, plus our daughter 11. Are we unreasonable to expect him to pay a contribution towards his insurance? He thinks we are.

OP posts:
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RoseField1 · Today 13:04

BeCoolStork · Yesterday 00:15

He did want a car, and needs it for day to day running about to work meeting friends but he won’t take a bus , he is scared of public transport and refuses to use a bus . So we thought we were making a good compromise. We live a half hour walk from main town, but won’t walk it either.

Does he have SEN/ND? because if not, you've spoilt him rotten.

JehovasFitness · Today 13:40

I bought my (cheap and crap) car and paid for my insurance at roughly the same age.

My child will do the same if they want a car.

EffinMagicFairy · Today 14:03

We paid for both DC driving lessons and provided a cheap runaround, once they passed, they pay the insurance. DS went off to Uni, he decided to sell his car, bank the money, to buy another car when he finishes. No parking in his Uni town anyway.

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MigGirl · Today 14:38

@Btc76 that's a very blanket statement which I don't think is true. I have friends who earn over 6 figures paid for their children to go to private school yet wouldn't pay for university or their cars.

I don't think it's a case of being able to afford it, it's trying to teach young adults that you have to work for things and not get everything handed to you on a plate.

I also know of children from less well off parents who haven't had to work any part time jobs as their parents have covered everything even if they struggle to afford it.

thismummydrinksgin · Today 14:52

My son paid his at 17, and then at 18. We bought the car, viewpoint being he will have motivation to keep accidents to a minimum if he is responsible for insurance premiums. Also they want to drive, they have to be responsible enough to pay for it.

thismummydrinksgin · Today 14:55

Btc76 · Yesterday 08:38

The answers on this thread are very interesting, and give a lot of insight into why different socioeconomic groups gave children who do differently.

For working class families, it seems once a child is 18 they should pay for everything themselves. No help, so if they have a car they better get a job and pay for it. Even if parents can afford to help: no, the young person needs to learn the harsh lessons of survival.

For middle and upper-middle classes, parents see it as a privilege to help their child establish themselves in the world. Your child will be competing as adults with others of similar ago whose families will buy them private tutors, apartments, cars, access to prized internships, and every other advantage that will help their adult life be successful. If a 19 or 20 year old is working like a donkey to pay for car insurance, then their focus on learning the sorts of skills to thrive in this world is reduced. These families actively support their children into their twenties, and as a result their kids thrive.

Do you think that the families of Prince William and Harry’s school friends made their children pay for their own car insurance at 19? No, they do everything they can to give their child every advantage they can.

No doubt it’s unfair. But a good part of the outcomes of each group is related to the cultural practices of the group. And withdrawing parental support from a 19 year old for something like car insurance, when side of their luckier peers will have cars AND flats bought for them at that age, does make us reflect on how to best help young people

If I took this view, my son would be spending every penny on expensive drinks and Ubers. Not gaining a socio economic advantage . Get a grip.

Balloonhearts · Today 16:55

MeetMeOnTheCorner · Today 09:43

@Balloonhearts With insurance potentially costing £ thousands, of course many parents pay! It’s normal. In my day I paid for my own driving lessons too! Plus the old banger crap car and the insurance which was over 1 months salary . I didn’t like having no help and, like many parents, DH and me have paid. Lots of dc drive a car as a student and don’t earn anything so of course parents pay. Lots around me drive to school - parents pay.

If you want to spoil your kids go for it, but don't kid yourself it's normal. It's really not. At 17, you get the absolute piss ripped out of you if anyone finds out your parents pay your phone contract, never mind your car!

Getting a car and paying for it yourself is one of the first transitions to adulthood. I'd not infantilise my kids by jumping in to do it for them. This is where they learn that you have to work for things you want, not rely on mummy to buy it for you.

Pistachiocake · Today 17:04

In the past, it would have been a definite yes. But it can be very hard for young ones to get a job now, uni is so expensive compared to the past, and there's no longer any guarantee of a good job after (in the noughties, pretty much every grad seemed to get a decent job). So depends on your financial situation, if you can afford it and want to, that's fine.

sanityisamyth · Today 17:12

The driver pays. Fuel, insurance, cleaning. Everything.

Purplecatshopaholic · Today 17:42

xOlive · 19/08/2026 23:13

Contribution? You’re asking him to contribute towards paying his insurance for the car you bought him?
And he’s not happy about that? Was he happy when you bought him the car?
He should be paying the whole lot and thanking his lucky stars his parents bought him a bloody car.

This really. Jeezo, he sounds entitled!

Softcream · Today 17:44

We pay for our DC's car insurance until they leave uni.

Minnie798 · Today 17:53

For a 19 year old at university, we'd pay. If in full time work/ on an apprenticeship, they'd pay their own.

Minnie798 · Today 17:54

Balloonhearts · Today 16:55

If you want to spoil your kids go for it, but don't kid yourself it's normal. It's really not. At 17, you get the absolute piss ripped out of you if anyone finds out your parents pay your phone contract, never mind your car!

Getting a car and paying for it yourself is one of the first transitions to adulthood. I'd not infantilise my kids by jumping in to do it for them. This is where they learn that you have to work for things you want, not rely on mummy to buy it for you.

Where do you live that this is true?

Pinkissmart · Today 17:56

Well, he can’t afford to run it. I’m not sure you should have bought it for him if you did not have that discussion and agreement beforehand.

User999990011 · Today 18:06

@Btc76 Possibly true for my circle. My parents bought me a brand new car and paid for all costs as well as all my other housing costs for uni and beyond. Never asked to pay rent and parents paid for our house deposits. We intend to do the same for our children - who are at boarding school. We do recognise the privilege and not everyone can do the same. However we do instil how lucky they are and the need to focus on education and network to establish themselves in their future career and life. It’s the same for their peers and the privilege is across generations.

JustGiveMeReason · Today 20:35

@Btc76 - interesting ponderings, but I have to disagree.
There are people of all 'social classes' (which in itself is nowhere near as clear cut as you are making out) who make different choices about what they give to their dc and when they choose to let their dc understand the value of money and the choices about working or not and who value different things to spend money on, it really isn't to do with class at all.

Sorry OP but it sounds like you have a lot going on with him if he won't take public transport or walk

I do have to agree with this. @BeCoolStork just dropped it in to a post as if this were normal behaviour. What do you mean "he won't take public transport" ? If one of my dc had said to me "I won't get a bus / train" I'd have simply asked them "Well how are you going to get there and back then?"
As for not walk 1/2 a mile Hmm

Also this:

This is a discussion on both the insurance and running costs that should have been done before you bought him the car

Whatever we as parents decide (or are able to afford) to contribute towards getting our teen dc on to the road, surely that conversation is had with them, looking at all the on-going costs and responsibilities.

A 'gift' with ongoing costs isn't something anyone should choose for someone else without discussing it with them first. Otherwise it is not a good present.

Stickywillow · Today 21:05

Lol at not paying car insurance=withdrawing parental support 😂

Tell me you're middle class without telling me you're middle class 🤣

My 17 year old paid for his own. Not through blood sweat and tears you'll be pleased to hear , just a part time job in M&S.

Minokee · Today 21:07

Nope. All 3 of my late teens / early twenties have a car. All 3 are paying their insurance through part time jobs.

rwalker · Today 21:08

Bought the car for the 18th but they paid there own running costs

but that said it doesn’t really sound as though he’s in a position to to run a car even with 3k savings

KrazyKatty · Today 21:09

Does he want or need a car? Most uni students won’t be able to park nearby so will it stay parked up at home?

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