Please help! 2.5 year old seems possessed by the devil

[SendHelpandSnacks]

My son has always had his challenges, the expected tantrums, terrible twos etc.
But generally he's always been a lovely, kind, gentle boy. He's always gentle with other children, shares all his toys, says sorry whenever he knows he's done wrong. I was so proud and surprised at how empathetic he was for a 2 year old.
However, over the past week, he's been a completely different child!!
He's been angry, frustrated, kicking off over the smallest thing (he's had phases of this before but not to this extent)
He's being naughty, disobedient and defiant. Really testing the boundaries.
The simplest task becomes a massive battle. He's started hitting and scratching me, it's so hurtful. I try not to take it personally but it's hard!
I find myself trying to do everything in my power to not rock the boat but something sets him off, it's so unpredictable and exhausting.
I feel so depressed by it, it makes me question my life choices. Why did I think I wanted a child? I don't even want to be around him. I never expected to feel so upset and hurt by my own son.
I feel sorry for him as he can't help it but these last couple of days have been like he's possessed by the devil. The screaming, the hitting, nothing calms him down, he's hysterical, shouting at me. The childminder called his scream "blood curdling" today...
He'll scream and hit me then apologise but then immediately continue. It's like he wants to stop but he can't.

I guess I'm just looking for reassurance... Has anyone else experienced this and come out the other side? Can a naughty, defiant, screaming toddler turn into a lovely child?
I'm exhausted by motherhood (and I have a very supportive husband) but it's getting to both of us... I can see how families split up by the stress of it all...
I just want to know that one day (and not in 20 years time) I'll have a lovely boy that I'll enjoy being around...
Any support and advice would be much appreciated 🙏🏼

Oh I should add for context, he's been away from the childminders for 2 weeks. He loves her and enjoys his time there, so it would seem odd that it's to do with that, but his behaviour changed when he went back to her house...
I'm also noticing a big difference developmentally, he's talking a lot more and making proper sentences. There's definitely a development thing happening too. Just not sure where all this anger comes from...

Constipation. Ear ache. Check physical causes.

Molars? Mine got like that a few times and each time I saw a molar in his mouth about a week later.

Ear infection could be it too, it makws them super miserable.

Has something changed at the minder's house? New kid on the block?

No advice but solidarity, my 2.5 year has been exactly the same for the past week. Is there something in the air?! Like you we have always had a bit of defiance and a few tantrums, but it feels off the scale at the moment. Hitting, screaming, not listening to anything I say...

There's been lots of things going on, like potty training, speech, last molars coming in and moving to a toddler bed, and I know it's likely to just be a phase. We have tried earlier bedtimes, later bedtimes, no nap, less milk before bed. She's really tired from waking up at night (as are we all) and I'm trying to be patient but ohhhh my goodness. I hope it passes for you soon!

You’ve had 2.5 perfect years with him and have had a few days of toughness and you’re wondering why you chose motherhood and are imagining your family splitting up?! That feels like a major over refill to a few difficult days of normal toddler tantrums. It’s totally normal at his developmental age and there’ll be more tough times to come. It’s part and parcel of having a child. Their brains are developing, their speech is developing, their emotions are up and down. That doesn’t mean that you don’t have a lovely boy. Take a deep breath and stay calm, he’ll feed off your emotions. Transitions can be tough for little ones and I’m sure in a few days he’ll have settled down

What have you been doing in response when he does these things?

I've been trying to discipline him, as soon as he's being naughty, I remove him from the fun.
We were at a soft play yesterday and I was trying to put his shoes on to leave and he just hit me!
So I grabbed the shoes and grabbed him and left the soft play immediately. Telling him if he hits me, we're leaving. "If you misbehave, we leave"
When he hits me I try to step away and I say "we don't hit" and I leave the room but every time I walk back in, he kicks off again and again.

Oh it's so hard honestly... 😭 It's absolutely exhausting... I just really hope it gets better 🤞🏼

I'd try and steer away from all the indirect "we don't hit" stuff. It doesn't work.

Don't be scared to say the word no.