2 under 2 - any tips or words of wisdom!

[AS93]

I’m looking for some advice from those of you who’ve had 2 under 2!

There’ll be around a 19 month age gap between my two, and I’m trying to work out what we’ll actually need and what life is really like.

A few questions:

• Did you buy a double buggy? If so, was it worth it or did you manage with a buggy board/carrier instead?
• Any tips for managing the newborn while looking after a toddler?
• If you had a planned second C-section, how did you find the recovery with a toddler at home? Was it much harder than the first time? Any advice for making those first few weeks easier?
• how did your toddler react? I’ve been so emotional about this and how it will affect my time with her!

I’d love to hear the good, the bad and the honest reality! Anything you wish you’d known beforehand would be really appreciated :)

waves! Mine are 5 and 4 now, but hopefully helpful… 20 months between them

First I’d say there’s a brilliant big 2 under 2 Facebook group - really useful resource.

Answers:

Double buggy: yes, I got an iCandy peach, second hand off marketplace. I had a narrow garden gate so wanted that rather than a spice by side. It’s a single that can also be a double and has an integrated buggy board so when eldest was about 2.5 I concerted it back to a single and she went on the buggy board.

Newborn and a toddler - tricky but lots of nature walks when baby slept and toddler fed ducks etc. and a fair bit of CBeebies during feeding times!

I had a scheduled CS after the shit show which was DD’s birth! Recovery was fine and I’d say broadly comparable to the vaginal birth recovery but there’d been forceps etc for DD. DH took 4 weeks and then WFH for 2 weeks until I felt confident to drive again which helped.

Toddler reaction - she was fairly nonplussed 😂 about 4 days in she rejected me a lot which was horrid with the baby blues and hormones but honestly after about 2 or 3 weeks we just bumbled along. They’re now either best mates or worst enemies depending on the day….

Good luck! There’s something to be said for getting all the baby days out of the way in one hit. My top tip… don’t even think about trying to potty train the older one until the younger one is sleeping semi decently…

Thank you @Cheepcheepcheep thats really helpful! And I’ll definitely look at the Facebook group ☺️

Congratulations!

We have an 18 month gap, they are 2 & 9 months old now so all very recent.

Double buggy- yes. We have the Bugaboo Donkey and it was a life saver for being able to get out & about, great for naps as well or when my toddler suddenly decided to start sprinting away at full speed to contain her!

No real tips for managing newborn while looking after a toddler really. My eldest was quite a difficult baby, fussy, has never slept well, had to be held constantly etc and my youngest is the total opposite and is such a happy content little soul it really hasn’t been too difficult. My biggest tip if anything would be to plan your days, especially in the early days, just for your toddler. A newborn is pretty “easy” in that they can feed anywhere and nap anywhere and don’t need much really so I still just planned our days as usual, softplays, playgroups, park trips, nature walks to feed the ducks etc, keeping toddler exercised and happy is the key! It would have been much harder for me if I’d been trying to entertain her indoors with a newborn for days on end.

I didn’t have a C section so can’t comment on that but a friend of mine had a 2 year gap and a c section and she did find it really tough as she couldn’t lift her toddler for about 7 weeks so she did need a lot of support from family/friends so something to consider.

I have been so lucky in that my toddler literally from the second she met her baby brother has been totally besotted with him and I’ve never seen a love quite like it. Even in her young brain every instinct she has is to care for him, when he cries she rushes over, right from the start she has sat and played with him, his firsts smile & giggle were both for her, he crawled for the first time to her, they have the most amazing bond it honestly brings me so much happiness. Her bond with me is stronger than ever, we have had the benefit of another 9 months & counting together and it has just been amazing. It has its chaotic moments but it is genuinely beautiful.

good luck!

Thank you @Jellybunny98. this makes me look forward to seeing their relationship 🥹