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Parenting

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Planning a second baby and feeling worried about my 5 year old

1 reply

workingmama111 · 19/08/2026 12:27

My partner and I are thinking about having a baby together, and I’m feeling really emotional about it.
I have a 5-year-old daughter and it’s been just me and her for so long. We’re incredibly close, and I think that’s why the thought of having another baby scares me so much. I’m worried that she might feel pushed aside, replaced or somehow distant from me once there’s a baby needing so much of my attention.

My partner doesn’t have children of his own, and I finally feel like I’m ready too. I really want to experience having a baby with him and growing our family, and I can genuinely picture us having another child. But then I think about my daughter and feel this huge sense of guilt and fear.
At the same time, I actually think it could be really lovely for her to have a sibling. I don’t have much family myself, and sometimes I think about her growing up and wish she had more family around her. I love the idea of her having someone who is there throughout her life, even though I know siblings don’t automatically become best friends!
She also has a beautiful relationship with her stepdad, and her dad is very much in the picture. We all get along well, so she has lots of people who love her. I think I’m just particularly protective because our relationship has been the one constant for so long.

I guess I’m finally at a point where I feel ready for another baby, but I’m scared that making that choice could hurt my daughter emotionally.
For anyone who had a second child when their first was around 5-6 did you have these same worries? How did your older child actually find it? Did your relationship with them change? And did you ever look back and feel that having another child was the right decision for your family?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Wonderones · 19/08/2026 12:32

The way you feel about your older child, you will also feel about your second. Mine have a slightly smaller gap- just over 4 years. They are lovely friends. My oldest is such a kind older sister and fiercely supportive of the little one, who (currently) idolises her.
We had such a happy life - the 3 of us together. But when it was time for a new addition, I soon saw how much space there was in the family for another child.

The benefit of an older one is they understand better what is happening to them, and you can talk about feelings.
The downside is with that gap it is hard to find days out / activities that fit everyone.

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