I am in need of help with my 5 year olds behaviour lately
we know it started when our son was born 8 months ago, it’s a cry for attention etc. I know that’s what it is, since it’s been the summer holidays, my partner has had some time off and he’s watched our son on multiple occasions whilst me and my DD have time together. Seems to have made things worse???
She has never slept alone, despite trying I always gave up and just allowed her in my bed. Now, hindsight I know I shouldn’t have done this, but when our son was born I just let her sleep in my bed all night and my partner went into her room. This is because she will scream for hours and we couldn’t risk her waking him up. This has went on too long and 2 weeks ago we made the decision, it’s time to get her to sleep in her bed.
It started off ok, story, chat, 2 songs and a cuddle, just like we did before her brother was born. Then it was time for me to go…. I told her I can’t sit with her because she will take 2+ hours to go to sleep if I’m there as a distraction. Instead I went to put laundry away, have a shower etc. I didn’t go downstairs. She was up and down at least 20 times - each time taking or sending her back. Then it erupted - screams, shouting and she hit me in the face (above the nose) so hard I saw stars
I was so stunned, I didn’t know how to respond. I just sat there in silence absolutely gobsmacked at what she had done. My partner took her away and told her that for hitting me, she would not be allowed on the play date the next day. That made it worse. She was back in and she punched me twice in the jaw. This is when I really raised my voice because WTF? I know I shouldn’t have, but it was a better reaction than lashing out back. I have never once raised my hands to her, neither has her Dad, so we have no idea where this behaviour has come from.
once she calms down, she seems to understand what she has done is wrong. She is apologetic and upset with herself. This has gone on for every night since and I don’t know how else to deal with it. I always start off keeping calm and then there’s only so much I can take.
Blocking the hit and saying ‘you can be angry, you cannot hit’ doesn’t work. I’ve explained about keeping myself safe and I can’t let someone hurt me. I have shouted - it does not work. I have taken things away from her (she loses her story the next night, she is not able to do activities we had planned etc) it does not work. She does not have an iPad or tablet.
I am at a point where I don’t like being around her and that makes me feel incredibly guilty. I am so unbelievably upset by all of it, I feel at a loss. She was better behaved and listened to me better when she was a toddler.
Please, what do I do?