I've always wanted two kids. DH has always been on the fence, yes in theory, but with financial concerns – so we've kept kicking the can down the road.
DS is now 5, nearly 6, and I'm 40 next year. We can comfortably afford a very good life with one child and the opportunities we can give him, and realistically I think we've kicked the can down the road long enough that the decision has probably been made for us.
I had actually started to accept this, until a random conversation with DS this weekend about babies and siblings. He's never asked for a sibling before, but it made me realise I perhaps haven't actually made peace with having one, I just accepted that we ran out of time.
I'm an only child and always wanted a sibling growing up. DH has a sister but they aren't close, so we have very different perspectives.
I'm also conscious that we'd now be looking at a 6-ish year age gap. They might be close, or they might not get on at all, nothing is guaranteed. And we'd be parenting very different stages for years: school and baby, teenager and primary, university and teenager.
So I'm torn between wondering whether I genuinely want another child, or whether I'm grieving the family I had imagined for myself.
To be clear, DS is a bloody fantastic amazing child. He makes me laugh daily and I'm in absolute awe of him constantly. He is my world.
For those who always wanted two but ended up with one, how did you make peace with it? Did it eventually feel like the family you were meant to have, rather than the family you ended up with?
And for anyone who had a second with a 6+ year age gap, how did you find it?