Play date etiquette when you don’t know the parents-6yo. Pls help!

[user28288]

Okay this is going to sound really silly. I’m not a very social person and I never got to know any of the school mums, I feel really bad for this because now my son is 6 and he’s missing his friends in the school holidays.
There is one boy he would like to have a play date with and I have his mums number as he’s been invited to his birthday party a couple times. I would like to invite him over to our house or to come to the park with us, would mum expect to stay with us as she doesn’t know us that well? That would be fine with me. I just don’t know how all this works but I’d like to make the fort for my son.

Just to add, my son is autistic and has a 5yo brother who is also autistic with much higher needs. Hence us not being naturally social so far

Are you happy for him to be dropped off or would you prefer mum to stay? If you’re happy for him to be dropped off I’d just message asking if he fancies a play date with ‘you’re welcome to drop him off at 11 and pick him at 2pm but if you’d prefer to stay that’s fine too’

For a first playdate when you don't know the parents, I would suggest meeting up with the kids at the park.

I agree with pp - give the other mum the choice. Make it clear that either is fine with you.

At age 6 I’d expect a playdate invite to be you collect from school and mum picks up at 6ish after tea.

Thank you guys, I’ve asked if they would like to come to the park with us and then when we are there I’ll say I’m happy to pick him up for a play date at ours at some point. Id be wary about sending my son to a house I don’t know so makes sense

Hi, I have a 6 yo. There are some of her friends who I know will always come with a parent. They are nervous and often when they come for a playdate it's the pair of us playing with our children or at least stepping in and out of their play - for example we might both help them set up a fort and a game they can play but then step to the side.

There are a couple of her friends who I would be happy to have over without parents or my child to go to their house without me and sometimes it's a bit of a hybrid where I have stayed for the first half hour once my daughter has settled into the new environment and emersed in the play I can pop home and return at an agreed time.

I am quite fortunate in that, whilst I'm socially awkward and struggle with these situations so do the mums in my friendship group and it's easier knowing that a lot of the social chitchat doesn't come up. We met as the mums that stood to one side at the class parties.
This time of year is a good time to experiment as you have "how has the summer been, have you been away?" Is a good conversation starter. The other time of year that is good for venturing into these experiences is before/after Christmas when you can ask about their plans for the Christmas break.