In need of some help and advice please.
Im in a difficult situation. My relationship is breaking down. I’m a new mom to a 5.5 month old. The father and I were together for a year before pregnancy.
unfortunately I just can’t bring myself to stay in the relationship much longer. We are totally different people and as much as I’ve tried to make this work for our baby it’s making me so unhappy.
we moved in together just before our baby was born.. like a week before. Since that point he was no help at all around the house or with the baby. I mean nothing no quality time with bb no interest in his first smiles nothing. We had an arguement where I expressed this and since he’s show some interest. However I have no confidence that he can look after bb on his own. I have tried leaving him downstairs with him a few times a week while I shower etc but every time within 1.5 hours it ends in crying that turns to hysterical screams. I’ve made a conscious effort to not jump straight in and give him 5-10 mins but it kills me every time. As soon as I take him he stops crying.
on top of this I have seen him carrying him in certain ways I.e one handed trying to put a dummy in his mouth which results in him arching all the way back or pushing him up in the air multiple times like you would see someone do to a 2 year old… he’s 5 months.
going forward I’m concerned once we separate he will want to take him for hours at a time.
let me be clear I absolutely want my bb to have his father but I can’t bring myself to even think about him crying to the point of exhaustion or being handled in a way that hurts him.
he is breastfed and co sleeps with me only.
how realistic is it that I could ask him to do visitation at mine (his current home) untill bb is older.
The whole situation is so sad but whatever I do at this point feels like it’s going to be wrong for someone.
additional comment
he is not currently on the birth certificate.
We are in the uk