Five-year-old screams intensely over minor injuries, is this normal?

[DaisyEM]

MY 5YO (just turned 5) DS seems to react very badly to pain. Any time he properly hurts himself (i.e a graze or bump to the head etc) he will scream as if he's broken his arm or similar. It's happened a few times in public and people have come out of shops etc to see what's going on (and stand and stare 🙄) because his reaction is so extreme. He's a kind, happy and easy going boy otherwise, but he just completely looses the plot when in physical pain.

i always tell him that crying is ok but the screaming isn't. The last time this happened in public he was screaming 'get me a plaster now' at me (very out of character). He was sat on my lap and I said to him 'mummy can't do anything while you are screaming', and then once he had calmed down I did put a plaster on his knee. I am guilty of popping a plaster on or holding something cool to his skin to help soothe the pain quite quickly. So I do fear that I am too quick to 'fix' it and haven't given him the tools he needs to manage pain.

We try deep breathing with him, I try to talk very calmly and get him to focus on my voice, we try 'shaking' it off and a few other things.

Is this normal? I can't say I've been out and about and seen another child react in this way. Has anyone experienced similar or have any advice?

I hate the idea of him being at school and completely losing the plot and not managing to calm down. He's otherwise emotionally very stable and on his latest school report he was as expected for his age and emotional regulation.

Thanks in advance for any tips!

Maybe start rewarding good handling of situations with stickers, songs? Start with yourself/partner/family oh you bumped your head, very brave you didn't get upset, here's a sticker and big fuss, he sees attention, reward and a better model of behaviour during these incidents. He's allowed to feel and react, but knows even lesser reactions still get cuddles/attention. It's good you are aware of how he's over reacting, take it as learning for yourself too, it's a tightrope raising kids, this will not be the worse thing you face, so keep it in perspective

Have you visited Elaine A. Aron's website? Under Self Tests there's a test Is Your Child Highly Sensitive?. She has also written a book called The Highly Sensitive Child. https://hsperson.com/

This is a good booklet on Sensory needs.

https://www.falkirk.gov.uk/media/9892c1e1-a778-483c-b70f-4bc6601aa2cc

You could make an appointment with the SENCO to discuss sensory differences and whether they have noted anything in school.

There’s a good book called The Out of Synch Child has Fun that has lots of activities you can do at home.

The extreme reaction could be not wanting to see imperfection. Tread carefully as it can become an intense need.
We had this with our daughter age 3 to 4
( diagnosed SPD ASD) initially she was hysterical when she spotted a tiny freckle on her hand and wanted to get it off.
We made the mistake of popping a plaster on. Instant calm. She then wanted plasters on any tiny mark on her skin. If a plaster came off in the middle of the night she would appear in our room crying.
We gradually had to wean her off them and ask school not to use them unless completely necessary.

Some good tips from PPs about pain perception, heavy/ light touch and seeking a Sensory assessment from a specialist OT.
The wet paper towel made me laugh. It’s really true Primary Paediatric first aid!

Sympathies! One issue with this is that you get seen as 'callous parent' when you don't take the overreaction seriously.

DD once fell off some playground equipment and screamed absolute blue murder. Knowing what she was like I was all 'oh dear, never mind' while other parents looked on concerned. I took her home and got texts from the other parents asking if we'd taken her to hospital and was her arm broken?

No, she was absolutely fine, not even a bruise. She's still highly strung now as a teen, not just injuries but any minor setback.

Can’t speak about any possible SEN, but any child of mine, or in my care, has always been taught that we can “blow the pain away.” While they are blowing, they are effectively deep slow breathing, they can’t be shrieking, and they calm down fairly quickly.