Starting school

[lisa270988]

Hi
My little boy is starting school this September he will be 5 in December. We oringal choose a school just down the road but changed our minds last minute due to it being very a large school and he hates busy places and crowds ect. He now has a place at a lovely small school but it's a 20 minute walk away and he isn't a very good with walking. He was born 10 weeks early and very small for his age so this doesn't help.
I'm really worried he won't manage the walk each day! He still uses a buggy a lot! I have tried with a scooter and bike but he can't seem to get the hang of it!
Has anyone got any thoughts on this would it look bad if I took the buggy?

At my childs school, I have only seen one child arrive in a pushchairbut she has SEN. Before your update, I would have stronly advised against using a buggy, however now that you have revealed his weight and height, I can undertsand why the walk would be more challenging, and reception can be exhausting for many children. I remember my son hated walking to school in reception, but he was always more willing to go on his scooter. 10-15 min walk for us, and all uphill going to school.

With his height and weight I would definitely say that a buggy or some sort of wheels would be reasonable.

You could always get a scooter that has a seat and handle that you can push if he gets tired? Would look a bit more grown up than a buggy although you shouldn't have to worry about what people think- I understand kids can comment on differences within in their peer group and it can be hard to deal with.

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DS told a classmate when they were in the school nursery she shouldn’t have a dummy and they were for babies 😬 He wasn’t trying to be mean, he was only repeating what we’d told him when we did the dummy fairy, and yes we had words after. But kids do make comments. I was mortified but actually the mum thanked us because they’d been trying to persuade her to give it up for ages with no luck but being called babyish by a classmate apparently did the trick. I can totally see reception age kids doing similar about a buggy, not to intentionally be mean but just because they’ve been given the message that the buggy is for their baby sibling whilst big kids walk nicely.

A huge number of 4-5 year olds with dummies and in buggies??! Where do you live?😂

I would spent the next few weeks practising the route and building up his strength. No way would I use a pram for a school aged child. Their classmates will notice and as PP have said, although it’s not always malicious, it will be said prams are for babies.

I agree, I live in what you'd call a vibrant area where there are people from all backgrounds and I've never seen a child with a dummy who looked large enough to be school age. I think daytime dummies are going out of fashion generally because I don't see toddlers using them in the playground or soft play etc any more.

I do see kids in buggies who could pass for 4yo but it's not easy to gauge age. Never at my dc's school drop off though.

Would one of those trikes with a handle for parent be more acceptable to the judgemental classmates?

As he is so light can you give him a piggy back some of the way? I see dads do this at school pickup everyday (dads rather than mums because many R/Y1 kids will be closer to 20kg)

I think you just need to practice and build up his stamina. That's what you do with a toddler/preschooler who's ditching the buggy, you're just doing it a bit later. We'd take the buggy for long days out but for shorter trips to the park or shops, no buggy.

When DD1 started school we did practice walks to school during the summer holidays so we could check out the route etc. Could you do that a couple of times a week until school starts?

Use a buggy.
Then over time use it less in the mornings until you drop it, and then reduce in the afternoons too.

When my child did a taster day a few weeks ago for primary in September, I saw a few of the kids in buggies. Take the pressure off, use the pushchair, I bet it's not needed for long.

I don’t think you can label 4 year olds as judgemental in the way adults are. It’s more it’s unusual and so they’d notice. Same with a dummy. Which is good to both as theirs an epidemic of reception. children being treated like babies. I think even young children would understand x uses a pram because he needs help to walk.

I’ve never seen a NT, physically able child of any age brought to school in a buggy. This thread has been eye-opening as I didn’t know that was even a thing.

Though plenty are brought in cars.

There is a reason this particular child would benefit. If my DC had been summer not autumn I think she may well might have needed a buggy when starting as we only ditched the pushchair a few months before school.

Drive him? There’ll be a whole
mix who walk, cycle, scoot and drive (we had to as we work full time and had to hare straight off after drop off as did loads of other parents). Mine went to a large primary school (last one just finished so admittedly we are a few years with YR behind us) and no reception child went in a buggy. Even the tiny ones.

I don’t think the classmates will be judgemental like it’s a deliberate action, they just notice what they see and repeat what they’re told. And some of them will have had their toddler trike (I’m envisaging the nuna one?) given away or passed down to younger siblings because ‘you’re a big boy now that can ride a big boy bike’ or something along those lines. To fit in with his classmates it’s walking, scooter, bike or car. If driving is off the table (IDK, OP hasn’t mentioned it like it’s an option), neither can ride a bike, the DC can’t do the walk then that leaves scooting and he could be pulled along for most of the way which wouldn’t be noticed at all.

I think people warning the OP that other kids will notice and say things like buggies are for babies is judgemental. What else is it? They are observing something, making a judgement i.e. that is for babies and commenting on it. Maybe teach them how to behave.

I've got kids in their 50s and yes I remember at least one child who went to school by buggy for at least reception but probably year one as well. Wasn't an issue with anyone else adult or child.

I wouldn't blink twice at someone using a buggy for reception; especially if they're little. Do what you need to do. They're little and get tired easily at this age. They build their stamina up quite quickly and you'll prob find by Christmas he's able to walk/scoot etc. But don't put pressure on him or you. If people judge you they're snobs.

No one will care about it. My son will probably use a pushchair and reins as he is autistic and I don't really care what others think.

DS is also starting school in September, it's a 15/20 minute walk, he's a summer baby so only turned 4 this week. He was at the preschool there and he's been scooting for about a year. It was paaaaaainful at first. Lots of stopping, moaning etc but he's an absolute whizz now. I have to run to keep up! He's a second kid which I do think makes a difference, as he's trying to keep up with his big sister.

But I'd persevere with practicing walking and scooting over the summer holidays. Then bring a snack for the walk home in September.

Can you keep practicing the walk once or twice a day? Or maybe attach a cord to the scooter so he scoots for a bit and you pull for a bit?

My eldest just turned five and has been doing the 25 minute walk to and from school since pre-school. I used to encourage him by having races and playing silly games to distract from the walk, and over time it’s become just part of our routine.

If I’m honest, I’d be very surprised to see a reception aged child in a pushchair.

My youngest turned 4 at the start of reception. Our walk (in London) is 30 mins. She would get very tired so I would use the pram. Especially as the walk is uphill and the last stretch is very steep. She would cry and be tired before even getting to school.
After a few months we started using the bus for half way (it doesn’t take us any closer) and using the scooter which she now loves. Even though it’s her brothers old scooter and not her fave colour.

its difficult to comprehend she’s still 4 now and will be in year 1 soon.

I would honestly say do what you need.

I come from a different angle.

DS was an early walker and walked EVERYWHERE!

He was always known as the good walker and I was always being asked how I got him to walk for miles without complaining (he did a 6 mile cliff walk at 4). I honestly replied that I didn’t “do” anything.

At 8 he started losing his mobility and was eventually diagnosed with a rare genetic degenerative neuromuscular condition at 15yo.

He’s now a wheelchair user at 21.

No one remembers that he was the kid that walked everywhere. No one remembers which of his peers were the ones who refused to walk or couldn’t walk as far.

People may or may not judge or comment now. But in the long term it’ll make no difference.

What will make a difference is him being able to enjoy school and be alert enough to be engaged rather than being put off the school experience at 4yo over how he got there and back.

Is it a special needs school?

I’ve literally never seen a single Reception age child in a buggy or with a dummy. It would stand out a mile.