Early Signs of ADHD in a 19-Month-Old? Looking for Other Parents’ Experiences

[OliviaKrof]

Hello,
My question is mainly for mothers of children with ADHD.
Our little boy is 1 year and 7 months old. After he turned one, he started becoming very strong-willed. He cries and has tantrums over the smallest things.
A week ago, we saw both a neurologist and a psychiatrist because he is a very difficult child to manage. He gets upset, cries, and becomes frustrated over very small things. For example, if we do not let him bang on a pot, open and slam the fridge door, or do similar things, he immediately has a tantrum.
I can usually calm him down fairly quickly by showing him something more interesting. He has also started hitting us, and sometimes he hits himself too, although only lightly. It seems more dramatic than an actual attempt to hurt himself.
Both the neurologist and the psychiatrist told us that they see some red flags for ADHD. He does not really play independently, and if he is offered more than one toy, he cannot keep his attention on one thing. He picks up one toy, then another, then goes back to something else, and so on. Sometimes he does become absorbed in play, but this happens very rarely.
He started walking at one year old. He had a slight delay in sitting independently and started crawling on all fours at 10 months. At the moment, however, there does not seem to be any developmental delay. He says words, understands a lot, and follows instructions. He has no sleep problems. He has a few sensory sensitivities, but nothing severe or clear enough to say that they are causing a problem.
What worries us is that we also see quite a few signs of hyperactivity, mainly the tantrums and the fact that when there is more than one stimulus, such as several toys or objects, he constantly switches from one to another and cannot stay focused.
What were the first symptoms you noticed in your children with ADHD? How long did the tantrum phase last, and were you able to calm them down? Did your children have any developmental delays?

Please do not reply to the OP with what your now older child with ADHD did at that age. Plenty of kids do display some traits but completely change by 7/8. There were six from my kids reception class on the ‘wait and watch’ list and only one by the end of year 6 had a diagnosis. The rest were just active, excited kids.

My son has ADHD & was an extremely placid & content baby/ toddler.

I'm amazed that professionals have even suggested ADHD at this stage. My son is 7 (and is also autistic) and trying to get him properly diagnosed has been akin to blood from a stone

I think you are a prolific poster with an obsession with having a ND child.
The details of the child change, sex, age etc. But the general theme and syntax is the same. A generally normal but reactive child who is not behind in milestones but for some reason gives you great concern.

In any case, whether or not you are that poster, your child sounds normal and lovely and I hope you will seek help for your perception of that child before you do irreparable damage.

@dairydebrisi have some friends like this. Parenting is hard. People are unprepared. They feel there must be something wrong with their child. It’s not their child, it’s just parenting. Very few people enjoy every minute of it. Especially with toddlers.

I know. There is just one specific, prolific poster who is completely obsessive about their child's ND despite their child being absolutely normal. They latch onto any post that validates their fears. There is a child behind all that who is bring watched and judged constantly, carted off to repeat psychologist appointments, and always found concerning in some way...

I know I could be wrong but I do spend way too much time on here and I recognise the style of posting.

In any case, this child sounds normal, as far as any child can be, being a human child with beautiful human variation.

This all sounds really normal for a 19 month old?? I know one 18 month old who tiptoes all the time. Mine likes to bounce up and down constantly and flop heavily all over the place and off things. Both run everywhere and both are very dramatic when told no. I do also know one very sedate 18 month old - it's all just personality. Enjoy your kid and try not to look for something 'wrong' - you'll always find it.

I only think it’s likely your child is ND because you are clearly hyper focusing in a very intense way… and it’s hereditary!

Id also try experimenting with his diet. Cutting out sugar for example, then processed food etc. Seeing if it makes any difference

It jumped out to me too. They’ve posted here before many times.

Either way OP, let the kid bang on a pot for fuck sake.

Omfg he sounds so so so normal for a 19 m old boy. Are you comparing him to girls his age?

Going to go against the grain here a little and say that in hindsight there were adhd signs in my eldest at 19 months old. I didn’t know it was adhd back then (he was diagnosed last year, at 10) but I knew something was different / much harder work about him than other toddlers. We would go to those library rhyme times and while the other babies would generally stay near their parents and be at least semi interested in the story and songs, I spent most of the time supervising him climbing the library stairs. All he wanted to do was climb. He wouldn’t play on his own with toys at all. The only time I could get anything done was when I put him in one of those jumperoo things so he could bounce.

im not saying you can diagnose your child at 19 months as they may grow out of these behaviours. But by 3-4 years it was pretty clear to me. Official diagnoses won’t be looked at until 6-7 years.

Here come the terrible twos. Sounds like normal toddler behaviour to me. He’s just moving out of the baby stage and into the strong willed toddler phase
Everything else you’ve described sounds pretty normal

I understand that a 19-year-old child can do all sorts of things, or sometimes nothing at all. The issue is the intensity of everything he does. I see other children his age, and their behavior and movements are completely different. Our child has sudden, abrupt movements and is very fast.
He likes pushing things around — toy trucks, bikes, and so on — and our occupational therapist told us that this is most likely because other activities involve motor planning and require more effort from his brain, so he tends to avoid them because he simply does not want to deal with that extra effort.
Anything that makes him stop and think, even just a little, he tends to avoid. I have many other examples as well.

Put it to the back of your mind. Because he’s 19 months old.

Your child sounds normal for that age to me . Why is he attending occupational therapy ? It seems bizarre to me . 19 month olds can be extremely active and tantrumy and they nearly all have sudden movements