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Parenting

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How to tell a 6 year old she has a half sister she knows nothing about??

2 replies

macdoodle · 25/06/2008 23:51

My Jeremy Kyle life has been on here for a while now but in a nutshell....2 years or so ago my H had an affair with a bunny boiler who wouldn't accept that he was coming back to his family...and accidentally got pregnant - her baby is nearly one...
There is a lot more to the story - H and I have elder DD who is nearly 7, and have a baby (conceived during an attempted reconciliation) who is 6 months - we do not live together but are amicable and get on well...he sees her baby (I don't ask details they are not together...he says)..and sees my girls almost every day...
I don't want to get into a discussion/argument over him/her/children being equal - am aware of all of these points and has been discussed in various shapes on here over last few years..
What I would like is some advice - we have not told DD1 about OW baby - what with me getting pregnant H moving out etc was never right time.....also she is aware of affair (was too much shouting and screaming not to ) - she is also aware a little of what I think of OW (not all of it has heard me call her a cow so thats pretty mild TBH) - and not something I am proud of (that she heard not that I said it IYKWIM)....but as children get older, we all live in smallish town, H has my DD1 over to stay - I would much rather she was told by us than heard it from someone else or even bumped into them and wondered why some strange baby was calling her dadd, daddy - it is all such a mess and we have all been through so much especially DD1 - how do we tell her without causing yet more trauma

OP posts:
slim22 · 26/06/2008 00:13

Have no first hand experience but think you need to all sit down and spill the beans once and for all.

She will hurt but at least you will not have breached her trust by letting her learn it through the grapevine and be on her own to deal with it.
If she hears it from someone else she might also want to protect you and naively wonder if you know which would yet another very heavy burden for her.

sit and talk. better let dad do the talk and you explain that you have accepted it. you want to be supportive so she does not side with you and reject dad.
She will be angry though. Maybe worth enlisting support from other loved/trusted family members to help her talk it through as it will be too raw to talk with you 2 for a while?

NormaStanleyFletcher · 26/06/2008 00:16

how much does she know about "birds and bees?"

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